A Mothers Love

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Standing back

Focusing on the good

Staying positive

Hoping for the best outcome

But a nagging sense of dread sits just beneath the surface

A feeling we acknowledge …

but refuse to say out loud for fear of breathing life into it

“Trust the vibes you get because energy doesn’t lie”

How do we stand back and be OK with our bad vibes and feelings of dread ?

We ADJUST our thinking

How do we not scream this fear out loud ?

We MUST be completely honest with ourselves

How do we stop ourselves from wanting to repetitively warn those we love ?

We TRUST the process

I believe …

Our need to share our worry and concern for others is more about our own fear

Our need to protect and defend others is more about our own hurt

Our need to influence the choices others make is more about our own self

I acknowledge such truths

Yet as a Mother, how do we separate our fear, hurt and self from our child ?

How do we stand back and watch as their hearts break open ?

How do we stand back and watch as they live out their nightmares ?

How do we stand back and watch as shadow takes them into the darkness ?

How do we stand back and watch as their inner demons dance with them ?

Motherly instinct wants to shield, shelter and save them from themselves

But we must stand back

Standing behind them ready to SIT with them if they fall

Yes … sit with NOT catch

Because when we catch we seek to break their fall

We must be willing to lay down with them in the darkness

To be OK with where ever it is that they are

To do nothing more than BE completely present to what is

To be nothing more than BE completely open to what flows

Allowing OUR emotions to flow more freely gives our child permission to FLOW

Resisting the need to fix, rescue or save gives our child permission to BE

Being honest and open gives our child permission to be more authentic

By standing in our own truth we give our child permission to stand in theirs

Our role as Mother begins to change …

We allow our children to make their own choices and follow their own paths

We allow our children to create their own experiences

We allow our children to bring light to their own darkness

We allow our children to learn and grow

But how do we allow it when sometimes we struggle to accept and embrace it ?

By reminding ourselves that although they will forever and always be our child

They are also growing men and women becoming ALL that they can BE

Responsible for their own choices and consequences

We learn how to take less responsibility for our children

I believe …

As we learn how to embrace our own fears and hurts as valuable opportunities of growth. We also learn how to embrace the fears and hurts of others

Is it easy ?

FUCK NO !!!

Sometimes it can feel like we are in the very depths of hell

As we struggle to overcome our own demons that are created by our own fears and dance with our own shadows that are created by our own hurts

But when we DO

Something beautiful begins to happen

We no longer run from the pain and suffering

We embrace it

The pain takes on new meaning

The suffering has new purpose

We transform our demons into allays and our shadows cast off more light

Being more consciously aware of our own negative behavioral patterns and unhealthy attachments, we are better able to look past our own suffering and start to see the bigger picture

Where we are ALL connected in both our LOVE and our SUFFERINGS

Yesterday …

My heart broke open as I watched my daughter say goodbye to her best friend

My heart ached as I reflected over the past 5 years

So many changes

So much loss

So many gains

Our pets become an important part of our lives, our learning and our growth

Like many, my daughter prefers the company of animals to people

Because animals never hurt or disappointed us like people do

So the death of our pets has always been a deeper sense of loss for her

Weve loved and lost many animals over the years, too many to mention

But this blog is about the connection my daughter has with her beloved dogs

First she lost her sister, Sasha

Our beautiful Husky who was part of our family for 16 years

Then the tragic loss of her best friend Saffron

Our fiercely protective companion we brought home from the dog shelter

and now Laska, her fur baby

A beautiful little soul who came to her when she needed her most

Taken away from her far too soon

None of us would have ever believed it would have ended in this way

None of us prepared for such a twisted plot change

None of us happy about the outcome

But I stand back and I watch

As my daughter sits in the eye of her storm

Confronted by both the very best and the very worst in others

And she rises

She rises above the drama by focusing on what matters most to her

As my daughter lives out the reality of her nightmare

Confronted by both the very best and the very worst within herself

She learns and she grows

As Mothers …

Sometimes we get it right

Other times we get it so very wrong

As Mothers …

We continue to learn and grow as our children do

As Mothers …

We stand back and we watch as our children become ALL they can BE 

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