Anticipatory grief …

If you’ve never heard of that before, than google and have an insightful read. Because it explains how the grieving process isn’t something that happens when someone we love dies.

As a family, our grieving began the very first day that our beloved Father was diagnosed with cancer. We grieved the loss of the hopes and plans that our parents had for his retirement.

Each of us responded to that grief in our own unique ways, neither way right nor wrong. Then we were hit with the devastating diagnosis of our beloved Mother. Something that hit our already hurting hearts with an almighty blow.

Mam’s experience has been different to Dad’s from the get go. Forcing my sisters and I to confront the harsh reality of this situation far too soon. Forever conflicted between hoping for the best, while preparing ourselves for the worst.

A grieving process that brings us closer

I keep seeing our family as a structure, each playing a vital role in how we function together as a whole.

Our beloved Mother, the HEART ❤
Our beloved Father, the MIND
My sisters and I, the BONES

(Back bone, funny bone, wish bone)

During this time, the heart of our family is breaking OPEN as a whole. But I see it as something that serves a far greater purpose than breaking our hearts. I don’t believe that loss is only to make us suffer. I believe that heart breaks are the growing pains of our soul.

A belief that continues to navigate me through the darkest storm of our lives. Because no matter who we are, where we come from or what our relationship is like, the loss of our beloved Mother is something that we ALL feel.

But I also believe that Death isn’t the end.

A belief I share with my family, and it’s something that also guides us through these darkest of times.

For me, this is another life experience to learn and grow from. Something that unlocks hidden aspects of my heart, mind and soul. Providing me with deeper understandings about myself and the influence I have on others.

But don’t be fooled because there are many times when I feel overwhelmed by my conflicts and concerns. Times when my mind and heart are at war with each other, striving to find a sense of balance.

Truth is, it’s difficult to stay focused on the bigger picture when our hearts are breaking open. Because our thoughts are irrational and our emotions intense.

But I’m learning how to trust in the challenging process of change.

Truth is, no matter how much we want things to stay the same. The ebb and flow of life will continue as Nature intended. So during our most darkest of days, I hope that my family and I continue to express love from our open hearts and allow our lights to shine.

Because at the heart of our grief there is nothing but LOVE ❤

Mindful interaction ❤