The influence of a NEW MOON in Pisces before the EQUINOX

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We’ve just experienced the final NEW MOON of the astrological year (18th March) before yesterday’s EQUINOX (20th March), and Mercury is now out of retrograde … but what does this mean?

For me, it means I’ve finally finished writing this blog !!!

Planetary energies have been a little intense, shifting us from a state of confusion to clarity, but transitioning through our conflicting feelings has been challenging us to stay present, because holding opposing emotional states simultaneously causes mental tension, and makes us feel exhausted.

In psychology we call this COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

This internal conflict triggers the ego (our sense of self) because the contradiction forces us to confront an inconsistency that feels threatening, but accepting the complexity of contradiction is a natural part of our humanity.

YES, we can feel both despair & hope, love & hate, sorrow & joy simultaneously because it’s two sides of the same coin, but learning how to accept the paradox without judgement is our biggest challenge.

Many of us are swinging between the darkness and light because the world is being thrown into a familiar “pandemic” story, and the threat of a crisis during a time of war is triggering the masses again, but we are moving beyond the trigger.

Are YOU feeling anxious because of global uncertainty?

  • Limit media exposure because this feeds anxiety
  • Reading the news activates less fear than watching video footage
  • Focus on what you can control and change
  • Prioritize self care to regulate your nervous system

What is the significance of an EQUINOX?

There are only two times of the year when the Earth’s axis is tilted neither toward, nor away from the sun, resulting in 12 hours of daylight and darkness in both the southern and the northern hemispheres. The equinox is a rare, fleeting moment of equilibrium in a world that is always tilting, and it reminds us that true balance involves constant, small adjustments to maintain stability, as we manage shifts in energy.

🌕⚖️☀️>>>———————-> Balance ☯️

To feel balanced we need to embrace duality

The NEW MOON in Pisces invited us into the depths, so we could experience the balance of opposing forces within, and what that means for us will depend upon the stories we are telling ourselves.

  • Are you feeling the push and the pull?
  • Do you feel the urge to pursue, but need to be still?
  • Do you want to fight for what you believe in, but need to protect your peace?

Integrating the polarity is shifting from either/or thinking to a both/and mindset, by recognizing that interdependent pairs (poles) must be balanced over time, and not chosen between. Acknowledging that opposing forces are necessary for wholistic functioning is a well known Chinese concept.

The Yin and Yang perspective argues that true balance isn’t found in eliminating the tension of polarity, but integrating these complementary opposites to create a functional whole.

According to star gazers, the emotional depths of Pisces offered us an opportunity to release old patterns, heal old wounds, and set intentions based on our intuitive guidance, but sometimes it can feel like we’re going around and around in circles … but it’s all a matter of perspective.

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Healing resembles a spiral because we often return to old emotional ground with more insight, but unlearning our fear driven habits requires constant effort, and that’s why healing is a daily practice, and an ongoing process.

Truth is, most of our struggle is an internal experience, and we all get stuck in mental loops and repetitive cycles that don’t serve us because “the ego maintains these cycles by ruminating over past events (trauma re-enactment) or obsessing over future uncertainties to protect its fixed sense of identity.” 

The ego will always prioritize a sense of control, familiar patterns and self preservation over growth or peace.

That’s the patriarchal world we’ve been conditioned in, and it’s the crisis driven world we are currently living in, but the rise of the matriarch (divine feminine) is shaking things up … and she’s ON PURPOSE !!

This isn’t just about women because the sacred masculine and the divine feminine energies are the universal forces within us all, regardless of our gender

The brain has been hard wired for survival, and the ego clings to familiar patterns and cycles because it needs to protect our self image (to be right, strong, smart and successful), but this state of mind creates separation, inner conflict and resistance because it defends, blames, and rationalizes.

Our challenge is to acknowledge this inner struggle within us.

So, if YOU are feeling stuck in a mental loop (or) you find yourself repeating the same experiences because you’re not learning the lessons, then ask yourself …

  • What story am I telling myself?
  • Why do I believe this?
  • What has been triggering me IN?
  • What has been revealed and realized?
  • What am I learning from this?

For me, it’s been the same old conflict of holding on and letting, and an upsetting story about my value and worth, but each time I return to this story (whether it be in the past, present or future tense) something else is revealed. Every time I revisit the same emotional theme, I see it from a higher vantage point or with deeper awareness.

I’m learning how to live within the question …

To have patience with unresolved issues, and allow them to co-exist rather than seeking a resolution, but as I move between the stress of holding on and the peace of letting go, I’m also learning how to flow between both states of mind with less resistance, and I notice how strong emotion activates the mental loops of my negative thought patterns. Without my usual avoiding behaviours, it’s been taking me even deeper, and I notice how the survival state of mind activates the fight and flight response in my body, which releases those stress hormones that create feelings of anxiety, fear and sadness.

As I sit with those feelings, I notice the stories emerging, and I’ve been paying attention to the conversations because they’ve been giving me insight into my inner struggle. Acknowledging how traumatic experiences, significant loss, and life changing events have been challenging me to rewire my nervous system.

… but why?

Unconscious psychological and emotional trauma roots itself into the collective as a shared human experience, and it stems from our individual challenges of loss, and historical systemic ruptures, that shape our self worth. The trauma may be acute, chronic, complex or collective, and the story may be differ (neglect, abuse, domestic violence, assault, bullying, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, accident, stress, distress, slavery, genocide, racism, natural disaster, loss or separation to name a few), but the struggle is the same, and it has a lasting impact on the nervous system.

For me, the trauma is complex

That’s why writing and sharing my story has been an important part of my healing process, but the vulnerability of my sensitivities, traumas, and desires have created a power imbalance.

In my solitude, I’m learning how to feel safe and secure …

  • Creating a safe environment and learning healthier ways to regulate my emotions
  • Processing memories and grieving the losses associated with the trauma
  • Rebuilding a new sense of self and restoring trust in others
  • Finding deeper meaning and higher purpose for my life

In my solitude, I’m also learning about the pattern …

How I still feel the need to reconnect and reconcile, and I’m conscious of how I’ve unconsciously RE-ENACTED the same experience over and over again with the same ending.

According to Shamanic theory …

  • Whoever comes … is the right person
  • Whenever it starts … is the right time
  • Wherever it happens … is the right place
  • Whatever happens … is the only thing that could have happened
  • When its over … it’s finished

There are NO wrong paths in life because everything happens as it should, so the shudda, cudda, wudda thinking is pointless.

“Nature chooses problem-solving over pleasure to keep us alive, making “peace” something that we must be actively be managing rather than a natural default state.” 

To break the mental loop of your unhelpful thoughts …

  • Be fully present in the moment … stop avoiding your SELF
  • Reconnect with your truth … we have to feel it to heal it
  • Label the unhelpful thought … and acknowledge it’s presence
  • Practice mindfulness … BE present by focusing on your senses
  • Self compassion … suspend judgement and be kind to yourself
  • Radical acceptance … stop fighting the reality of what IS
  • Move your body … to disrupt the mental loop

Most importantly know your worth and value yourself

RECLAIM the narrative and own your story ✨✍️

The season of letting go …

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We’ve shifted into the Autumn months in the southern hemisphere, and the tree’s are about to show us how beautiful it can be to let go.

Autumn makes me feel grounded because it’s a sensory experience

A visual transformation in nature that creates a tapestry of colour, and I love the warm earthly tones of red, orange, yellow, brown and gold. The sound of rustling leaves dance with the wind, and they crunch under foot, creating a musky aroma of decaying leaves in the air, and nothing beats sitting around a fire on a cool evening. The romance of watching the sky changing colour as the sun sets, and the moon rises. Contemplating the cosmos under a blanket of stars makes us feel part of something Greater, and that feeling invites us to reflect upon the deeper meaning, and higher purpose of our life.

Autumn is a deeply grounding season because the sensory experience helps to regulate our nervous system, shifting us into a more relaxed “rest-and-digest” mode, that promotes a more present-focused, and calm state of mind, but it also teaches us how to let go. Like the trees, we need to release what no longer serves us, to conserve energy during the winter months, in preparation for new growth in spring. Learning how to flow with the seasons is how we learn to embrace the natural ebbs and flow of life, so we can be less resistive, and more accepting of change, but this process will challenge us to be more present.

By tuning into our senses, it turns the gaze inwards

To identify the patterns triggering our limiting beliefs, so we can break free from what’s holding us back. To process our e-motions, forgive, and heal any lingering hurts, so we can let go of what no longer serves us. To adopt a growth mindset, by reframing our past mis-takes and redefining our identity, so we can align with our core values. We align with our core values by identifying what guides our behaviour and motivates our choices, acknowledging what drains and nourishes us, and determining what we prioritize and why. We have many core values, but some will be on top of the list, and compromising them is a slippery slope of consequences we will learn valuable lessons from.

Experience is how we become an active participant in our own life

Having the courage to be vulnerable enough to make mistakes is a foundational element of our personal growth. According to Dr. Brene Brown. “Vulnerability is defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure – it is not a sign of weakness, but rather the most accurate measure of our courage. By letting go of the pressure to be perfect, individuals and leaders can create stronger, more trusting, and more collaborative environments.”

Therefore, embracing failure allows us to use the obstacles as stepping stones, cultivate a growth mindset, develop new perspectives, break cycles, change patterns, and perceive our challenges as opportunities for new growth.

Embracing this growth cycle transforms the past into wisdom, rather than the weight of our burdens and regrets we carry

Although failure is a natural part of our personal growth we still struggle when things don’t go right, but why do we believe something is wrong if it fails? Why do we believe we’ve lost something when it changes form?

  • What if we are learning the most when we fail?
  • What if we are growing the most from our losses?

Failure and loss act as a catalyst for change and transformation, but it will trigger a story, and the narrative will differ depending on how we’ve failed, what we’ve lost, and who we are. Those stories are easily shaped, altered, or reinterpreted over time, and as authors of our own stories we are able to redefine ourselves, and rewrite the narrative as often as we need to.

What story has been playing out for you?

“Men may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.” (Candace Bushnell) is a quote that comes to mind because for me, the end of a significant relationship has been challenging me to change. Refining my internal locus of control, and acknowledging external limitations to maintain a more balanced state of mind.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” (The Serenity Prayer)

Although it’s a deeply personal experience, it’s also part of the collective story.

The threat of another war makes us all feel anxious, and it’s his-story repeating itself, but another story is being written and shared by women. Her-story is an internal battle she’s been fighting with the ego on her spiritual path, so she can understand the illusion of control, and surrender to a higher power.

A Shero’s call OUT to adventure, and her calls IN to do the shadow work

“The world will be saved by the Western women.” (Dalai Lama)

His Holiness said this in 2009 at the Vancouver Peace Summit because the threat of war has been an ongoing concern. Chemical warfare threw the world into chaos in 2020, and the political bullshit continues to agitate the masses by creating a divide, but we’re healing the split, and the game is changing.

Social revolution demands people wake up, shout out, and stand up for what they believe in. Systemic change requires active, courageous, and vocal participation rather than inactive resistance. Passive compliance, tolerance or silent acceptance avoids conflict … but it prevents change.

Can YOU feel the call urging us to move beyond comfortable conformity, to challenge authority, and demand justice? Western women have been fighting for our privileges for centuries, and we now have the means to inform and influence change … but our willingness to speak the truth triggers a reaction.

Our presence has always challenged the ego’s sense of control, and women are still being told we are too sensitive, and over-reactive to the bullshit we are being served. The patriarchy loves to project our reactions to disrespect, punish our intolerance of injustice, and pathologize our defiance, but we are becoming more conscious of the patterns … and we are healing deeper wounds.

Women are the greatest threat to an ego, and the patriarchy because our heart seeks authentic connection, and harmony, but it demands vulnerability, and that’s our strength. The witchy woo woo women are no longer being burnt at the stake … but we are burning for love in so many ways.

… and still we rise 🔥

Ladies and Gentle-men, by turning our gaze inwards we reclaim our sovereignty, and become an active participant in a spiritual revolution.

The Divine Feminine and the Sacred Masculine can align within us ALL, regardless of our gender, and this internal integration is a path to wholeness. When these energies are balanced within us, we embody “goddess wisdom” – a blend of intuition, creativity, and love, while using the masculine aspects of structure, protection, and purpose to ground that wisdom in the physical world.

Becoming an embodiment of our spiritual essence is our destiny …

... but our fate will be determined by the choices we make 💫

How can YOU align with the season of Autumn and LET GO?

Lunar Eclipse in Virgo…

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The significance of (3) strikes again 𖤓☾✩⃤⃤⃤

This is the last in a triad of Blood Moons that began in March 2025, and I can’t ignore the significance of it occurring on the (3rd) March.

The Divine TRINITY of completion …

According to the star gazers, this is the final chapter of a story that’s been playing out for us, the final purge of what no longer serves us, the closing credits of a karmic storyline that’s been challenging us, and the reckoning of our truth. Oh yes, it’s dramatic, and it’ll be life changing, but what that means to us will depend upon what’s been unfolding for us since March 2025.

  • What challenges have you been confronting?
  • What questions have you been asking?
  • What’s revealing itself to you?

Every FULL MOON is another opportunity to RELEASE and RESET, but this months eclipse energy feels purposeful for our soul, because it’s been inviting us to dive deeper so we can rise higher. Eclipses illuminate what’s been avoided (emotional truth, subconscious patterns, and hidden attachments), and according to the star gazers, illusions will crack, secrets can surface, cycles will be reaching completion, and bonds will either deepen or sever.

An alignment of the Sun, the Moon, and the Earth creates the kind of tension that brings clarity, but old fears and doubts will surface to be released, and unresolved feelings will arise to be healed. Triggering ego clashes, hidden tensions and suppressed resentments to illuminate the truth, release old patterns, and expose what no longer serves us.

This energy is an invitation to ALIGN with our higher selves.

It’s a karmic cleanse that will redefine and refine us, but we need to ask …

  • What are my blocks and what have I not allowed myself to see?
  • What are my obstacles and what am I gripping onto too tightly?
  • What is holding me back and what am I afraid to let go of?

Embracing the ancestral shadow holds profound wisdom because the light isn’t our only teacher, but it’s no longer about fighting or provoking the system. It’s guiding us towards accepting the whole truth of who we are (good and bad). To disrupt the illusion of control and bring balance to our experience, so we can be more grounded in reality, and that’s how we empower ourselves.

What is the ancestral shadow?

  • Inherited trauma we keep repeating until someone becomes conscious of it
  • Abusive dynamics we keep repeating until someone is willing to change it
  • Silence around pain we keep repeating until someone is ready to feel it
  • Patterns we pass down unnoticed until someone is able to see it

Ancestral programming is part of the collective conscience, and it’s surfacing to be seen, felt, healed and changed, so we don’t keep repeating the same generational cycles. The collective conscience wants to evolve, and that’s why we are experiencing more mental health challenges, its why so many of us are failing in our intimate relationships, and it’s why the political drama is playing out as it is, but more and more souls are waking up to the illusions of power and control (thank fuck), so we can change how we respond because we understand.

  • Why we tolerate what we tolerate?
  • Why we shrink in certain dynamics?
  • Why our body reacts before the mind understands?

This isn’t witchy woo woo nonsense, it’s psychology, it’s science, it’s quantum physics, and although complicated it really is quite simply a matter of being conscious of “where focus goes, energy flows” (Tony Robbins). Imagine the kind of psychological revolution that shifts the power towards healing, rather than the conditioned fear response that keeps us in a constant state of agitation.

What if the power to change the world really does lie within us all?

Call me crazy, but I believe that kind of change IS possible, and I’m gonna keep preaching it until others believe they can create it too, but that kind of revolutionary thinking asks us to confront the truth of who you are. To acknowledge our coping strategies and defence mechanisms, so we can RELEASE ourselves from the unconscious fear program running the show.

How is your nervous system running your life?

  • Habitual patterns of behaviours you’ve learned?
  • Ineffective coping styles that offer immediate relief?
  • Mental loops that keep you stuck?

It’s all rising to be REVEALED so we can become cleaner in thought, body and energetic boundaries, so notice the stories you’re telling yourself, and listen to your deeper knowing because something is ending for a reason…

  • A mental identity
  • A habit
  • A dynamic
  • A pattern
  • A story line

Compassion for the struggle is both the message and the medicine because the triggers will always persist, but we are changing, and I believe in YOU.

Our thoughts shape our reality

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Inspiration to write is found everywhere, and this morning it was a post I read and shared on the book of face, because I related to what he wrote. I haven’t written in a diary for years either, because I’ve been using the book of face (or) my blog to openly share my thoughts and feelings too … but why?

For some, social media is a platform to share funny memes, family photos, and exciting adventures, but it can also become a stage to play out the fantasy, the illusion or the lie. It’s a space to share our personal experiences, have conversations, exchange creative ideas, express political views, share information, learn new things, and connect with each other, but it can also become a court room to justify our actions, plead our case, and vent our opinions to a jury of spectators, so they can deliver their final judgement with a push of a button. We all know the anticipation of a like that makes us feel seen, a love that makes us feel understood, and a care that makes us feel like someone gives a fuck. Those buttons are designed to trigger positive reinforcement by giving us a boost of dopamine, as the reward of social acceptance, and the instant gratification of accomplishment (or) it stirs a negative emotional response that triggers our anxious and competitive behaviours, that’s rooted in the addiction for external validation because we feel rejected by our tribe.

Human behaviour is absolutely fascinating … my own included !!

Social media can be all of the above, but we get to decide who we are, what we follow, and how we share. I don’t share my truth and talk about my life for attention, but my ego definitely responds to the triggers of those buttons. I share my truth because I am here to live my life as honestly as I can.

For me, journaling has become more than a book to dump my messy thoughts and unexpressed feelings, it’s an important part of my healing process, and that’s why I share. As an extrovert, who is open to experience, I often feel called to share the conflicts of my concerns, and the experiences that are challenging me to change because there is no shame in the struggle.

I know I am the healer in my own life, but first I usually need to suffer the consequences of my own choices, before I can share the magick of my own medicine with others.

Letting go of the guilt trips, the blame games and the shame stories is how we heal, but we are creatures of habit, and we fight to hold on, even if it’s making us bleed. I’ve been called OUT to experience the chaos of conflicting truths, and leaning IN to explore the tensions of my own resistance for years, to understand the struggles, and I’ve been learning plenty of hard lessons along the way.

As a witchy woo woo woman, I consider words to be my craft, and I often write to make sense of a world that doesn’t always make sense to me. To find meaning in what’s challenging me to change, so I can feel a sense of purpose in this crazy wonderful journey that is my life. Sometimes the written word can be like the weaving of a spell, as I challenge my thoughts, to break free from the limitations of my conditioned mind. Provoking and evoking emotion, to expose my deeper truth, so I can explore the possibilities and manifest new experiences, that will shape my reality in the future.

We are the creator of our own life and the narrator of our own story

Although we cannot control every experience that happens to us, we do have control over how we understand and respond to it. This perception shifts us out of a victim mentality, based on our need to survive, into an empowered growth mindset, so we can learn, heal and grow from the experience. That’s how we become an active participant in our own life, rather than a passive observer. As the narrator of our own story we can edit and rewrite the script as often as we want, and we are the one to decide who plays the significant roles in our lives.

Truth is, everyone of us struggles with our mental health, especially during challenging times of change, and that’s why our conversations matter. When I look back on my life, I could easily get caught up in the old stories I’ve outgrown, but I don’t believe everything I think. However, that doesn’t stop those thoughts from rising, and becoming conscious of this split in our thinking is how we become the bridge. We integrate the survival and growth mindset to become whole, so we can be a fuller expression of SELF.

Most of us believe we are being ourselves, but when we deny, defend, avoid, reject and project what’s perceived to be negative, it creates the shadow, which is all those unaccepted and unlovable parts of who we are are. To heal, we must learn how to accept and love ALL of who we are, shining a light on our shady behaviours. Holding ourselves accountable, and taking full responsibility for our experience inspires others to learn, heal, and grow from their challenges.

Imagine living in a world of evolving people, who are loving and accepting of each other because they are healing themselves, and therefore relating as their higher selves, instead of reacting to each others triggers.

What if that is possible for each and every one of us?

When we align our thoughts with our highest potential, then we can turn the vision of our dreams into reality

Language has a power …

To unite (or) separate, to protect (or) defend, to create (or) destroy.

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This image popped up in my Facebook newsfeed this morning from Spiritual Revelations, and it reflects the split in our thinking perfectly. How the ego wants to control the narrative, but the consciousness wants to understand our experiences. My words are always written with the intention to understand because I am passionately curious about the human experience, but my willingness to speak the truth, challenge reality, and question what is can often trigger a reaction in others. However, this isn’t wrong, negative or bad because the activation of a strong emotional response is an inevitable part of our human interaction, and our biggest opportunity for deeper reflection and growth.

Like it or not, the triggers of our mirrors and reflections are part of the human experience. Guiding us IN so we can resolve past experiences, and therefore they are a catalyst for our learning, healing, and growth.

To grow we must be willing to challenge our thinking, our limited beliefs and our assumptions, by questioning ourselves

What story am I telling myself ?

Why do I believe that, and is it serving me?

What triggers me, and what is it revealing?

How can I learn and grow from this?

Do my choices align with my values?

Will this choice move me forward or keep me stuck?

Asking ourselves the right question interrupts the rumination of thought that makes us feel anxious, empowering us to deepen our self awareness so we can live a more conscious life.

I believe that’s the true source of our SPIRITUAL ENLIGHTENMENT ✨️

The coffee bean …

While drinking my coffee this morning, I thought about a story written by Jon Gordon and Damon West, about a conversation between a Father and his daughter.

While sharing her frustrations about life, he took (3) pots of the same size, filled them all with equal amounts of water and put them on the stove to boil. The daughter continued to talk about the problems she was confronting, as the Father placed eggs in one pot, potatoes in the second and coffee beans in the third. The daughter watched impatiently, wondering what he was doing. After 20 minutes the Father turned off the stove, spooned out the eggs and potatoes, placing them into separate bowls, and poured the coffee into a cup.

“What do you see?” he asked his daughter.

“Eggs, potatoes and coffee,” she replied.

“Look closer,” he said. So, she leaned in for a closer look …

The eggs had hardened under the shell, the potatoes were softened and the smell of coffee made her smile.

“What does it all mean?” she asked.

All (3) faced the same problem, but each of them reacted differently, based on what they were made of. The potatoe went in hard and came out softer. The egg went in soft with only a thin shell protecting it, but when put in boiling water it hardened up on the inside. But the coffee was different because it transformed into something else. Blending with the water, making itself and the water better.

So, when ever you’re faced with a problem, what do YOU want to BE?

Full Moon reflections …

It’s the first Full Moon of a New Year

“Our soul is calling us to stay true to our path. To hold true to our visions and do the steadfast work to move towards it. Lighting the way forward so everyone can reap the rewards.”

If like me, you’re experiencing a loss of some kind, then trust you are being guided to let go and release what’s no longer serving you.

I reflect back to the questions that came up for me during the last New Moon …

What kicked off for you in 2020?
What action did you see unfolding?
Any similar themes from the past repeating?
Any opportunities to make a different choice?
Any opportunities to break a negative pattern?

The answers are my realizations and insightful a-ha moments. Reflective of the lessons I’m learning and the changes I’m making.

As I reflect over what kicked off for me in 2020 and how the year unfolded, I acknowledge the challenges, conflicts and opportunities. I trust that everything is as it should be for reasons I may not fully understand yet … and that’s OK.

Although I had hoped for a different outcome, I’m grateful for the experiences we shared. I never regret my choices in love because no matter how things flow, our relationships serve to teach us important lessons in love.

I want us all to experience the liberations of spirit, not the fear and suffering of loss. So, I forgive and release myself from any karmic contracts I’ve been bound to in this lifetime. Acknowledging those energies are no longer aligning with me. I accept what is and let go of what’s not meant for me, because when I do our souls are free to evolve and move on.

Blessed BE ♥️

New year’s Eve reflections

New Year’s Eve is a time to reflect …

I feel the significance of this FULL MOON in Cancer being divinely timed. Cancer is the archetypal sign of Mother (my rising sign). An energy that’s strongly connected to the Moon and therefore our emotional ebbs and flows.

This energy stirs up our emotional sensitivities, causing us to act out seeking reassurance, which is a deeper need for greater emotional security. During these times we benefit most by reminding ourselves how other people show their love and how we’re part of something far greater than ourselves. I still get reactive to these energies, but reflection brings insight.

I can fully appreciate how Cancer is my rising sign because it definitely challenges me to rise above my emotional reactions. I feel this energy strongly within my heart, which is where I experience anxiety and why I resonate with the Mother in all her forms. According to the star gazers the opposite of Cancer is Capricorn. The archetypal sign of Father (my sun sign). An energy that’s strongly connected to the Sun, our sense of awareness and the ego. I feel this energy within my head, which is where I experience my inner conflicts and why I resonate with the Father in all his forms.

I process these energies in my guts, which is why my appetite, digestion and bowel motions are affected by what I consume, what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling. An experience that continues to teach me about the kind of relationship I have and want with my body.

Although I continue to struggle with my own personal challenges, I keep connecting to a deeper sense of collective conscience. Every 2,150 years we experience an astrological age shift, which has now shifted into Aquarius (my moon sign). This energy reflects our inner self and the unconscious. 2020 has challenged each and everyone of us to go deeper, to look beyond and to go further than any one of us could ever imagine was possible. What that means to us will depend upon our journeys.

I shuffled the tarot cards this morning and (3) cards jumped out together while shuffling …

THE OUTSIDER: feeling left out or excluded can reflect a transitional period. To connect with existence we must go in towards our center. We may have been physically disconnected from our Mother, but this doesn’t disconnect us from the Universe of consciousness. That’s a connection we feel deep within us.

NEW VISION: I noticed a geometric symbol on the card I’ve often scribbled when doodling. A square with a cross inside and triangle on top.

⏹️ Represents the physical & known.
🔼 Represents the power of (3).
⏺️ Represents the spirit.

I recall Mam showing us how to draw this house without taking our pen off the paper. This card reminds us to allow ALL of life’s colours to penetrate us because it’s how we become more integrated and whole.

THE FOOL: is symbolic of trust and innocence. Trusting our intuition even if our actions can appear foolish to others or yourself. Allowing whatever experience coming to you to happen. Staying present and being vulnerable even if cheated, deceived or robbed because what is truly yours and meant for you cannot be taken.

Hmmmmm 🤔

If you’re still reading this then you’re obviously interested in what I have to share. I resonate strongly with these cards because they reflect my personal struggles over the last (3) weeks and my challenges in relationship and life.

To respond with love instead of reacting in fear. To love another from a deeper sense of connection, based on my wholeness instead of a need, based on an unhealthy attachment. To express not suppress. To speak my truth. To follow my heart, trust the process and believe in myself. To have faith in human kindness and hope for a better world. To BE the LOVE ❤️

What inspires YOU to be more?

Reflect upon what’s challenged you, energized you, drained you, healed you, supported you, inspired you and changing you. Remember the moments that have brought you to this place.

What did you fear most?
Did you confront and rise above it?
Was there sorrow in your heart?
Did you feel and release it?
Were there doubts in your mind?
Did you gain clarity and grow from it?

As I reflect over the lessons of 2020, I step into 2021 with less fear and more love in my heart. Holding onto my vision and trusting in the divine order of our own personal evolution.

BE true to yourself✌️🥰

Looking at life from a higher perspective

Have you ever observed your own reactions? I have and it’s hard to look down upon yourself when you don’t like what you see.

I’m a lover, not a fighter but that doesn’t mean there’s no conflict or battles. There’s often a push and pull between my lower and higher self.

Both the beautiful flawed human BE-ing of complex contradictions and the enlightened spiritual BE-ing of love and light I am.

Even when I’m conscious of this inner tension, I still get pulled back into the old stories of limitation. Being impulsively reactive to my triggers instead of respectfully responsive.

The struggle is all too fucking real !!!

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best and function to the best of my ability somewhere in-between. Is what I’ve been telling myself for the past 4 years. It’s how I got through some of the hardest and most challenging times of my life.

But this motto is no longer serving my highest good. It doesn’t serve me to think about what could go wrong. It doesn’t serve me to create different scenarios and possibilities in my mind. It doesn’t serve me to give the what ifs my time or energy.

I’ve been living in a state of conflict for many years. Torn between two hemispheres (UK and Australia). Torn between the light and darkness. Torn between fear and love. Torn between life and death. Torn between hope and despair. So it’s not surprising that when those conflicts resolve, I feel a sense of uneasiness.

So much uncertainty in the NEW

I’ve been struggling to just BE in relationship with someone who wants nothing more than to just BE with me.

I wanted MORE !!!

I was creating conflict by telling myself the man I love doesn’t desire me enough, doesn’t need what I need, doesn’t want what I want, doesn’t see what I see. Thoughts that made me feel suppressed and manipulated. Was I settling for less than I deserve? Feelings that kept fueling an internal split and external seperation. Creating a sense of disconnection from the one I desperately wanting to connect with.

No, the one wasn’t he, it was ME ❤️

My healing process has been about integrating fragmented parts of myself. Embodying the truth of who I am, by loving those parts I’ve rejected and denied in the past. Our healing requires us to become whole, which is why relationship triggers us so much.

  Just BE …

Is something my higher self does with ease, but my lower self is reactive to what’s seen or felt. Although I know I’m more than my thoughts and feelings, I still feel the weight in my head when I’m holding onto old stories of limitation. And I still feel the heaviness in my heart when I’m drowning in the depths of my emotions.

That’s when I get lost inside myself
That’s where drama is created
That’s how I feed fear and fuel doubt
That’s why stress is experienced
That’s what I’m ready to change
That’s what I release this Full Moon

There’s no shame in being reactive to our triggers. Unless these things surface to be seen, felt and processed they cant be released.

NOW more than ever is the time to BE more fully present in-between love/fear, light/dark, life/death. To integrate the polarities and BE an embodiment of experience.

I’m far from perfect, but my growth game is strong 💪😍

The same, but different

Sitting on the bank of yet another dry river bed, I picked up 3 stones and thought about my sisters. How we are the same, but different. As I looked out upon a river of stones, I thought about how each and every one of us are the same, but different. Yet we live in a culture that strives to organise and conform us, by giving us labels and ticking boxes so we can fit in. I believe that’s why so many of our systems claiming to provide “person centred care” in theory are struggling to provide it in practice.

Reflecting over recent tensions with my partner I see how the same but different is usually the source of our conflict. Living this kinda lifestyle in a new relationship means we get to see the best and worst of each other very quickly, and without the filters and masks. We are complete opposites in so many ways, but sometimes we are also mirrors of reflection. That’s why we both challenge and compliment one another.

Our relationships challenge us to look beyond ourselves. When we struggle to respect our differences, then there’s something separating us. That’s when we are invited to dig deeper, to find the source of our tensions and conflicts.

Unfortunately, we don’t always have the time to privilege those important reflections and conversations with ourselves, let alone with each other. Our multiple roles and many responsibilities usually take priority, so our inner tensions build and our conflicts create additional stress to our already busy lives.Then we wonder why we suffer from dis-ease 🤷

I broke up with stress years ago, knowing it’s the biggest source of our suffering, but the challenges persist. I’m living the dream with more freedom than I’ve ever experienced before, but restrictions persist. Truth is, if life was without challenges or restrictions, then there would be no opportunity for growth.

This month’s descent with the dark moon has been a little more challenging to navigate. My insecurity button has been flashing red, so my sensitivities were heightened. But I’ve surfaced with a clearer realization I wish to share …

Communication is a key to change 🗝️ but it requires us to unlock the limitations in our own minds, so we can release the LOVE in our ❤️

This morning I exorcised a demon …

Surprised when my guts started to growl again, because I’d already been for my morning elimination. An overwhelming sense of urgency to empty had me retreating back to the toilet block …

… in a hurry.

Waves of energy began to flow through my body as my bowel contracted. My fingers and toes began to tingle, then my body temp dropped and I began to feel faint. Billy must have sensed what was happening because he ran into the toilet block, sticking his nose under the cubicle, as if checking on me. I was too busy focusing on not fainting, taking deep breaths. Trying not to fall like a sack of potatoes onto the floor. I watched him through the cubicle crack. Noticing how he sat outside, facing the toilet I was in.

Every bowel contraction made me feel weaker and weaker. The tingling in my fingers and toes spreading into limbs. My arms and legs numb, cold and pulsating. Although my body temperature had dropped I began to sweat. The cold icy kinda sweats we get as something toxic leaves our body. When we’re sweating out the flu, fighting a virus, eliminating poison or releasing our shit.

Whatever the fuck was leaving my body, it was toxic for sure.

There’s so much more to our digestion and elimination process than a physical act. We digest more than food and release more than shit.

Our body is in constant communication with us, but how often do we listen?

NO, I don’t have irrital bowel syndrome (IRS) because I don’t suffer from constipation. My body doesn’t hold onto shit because I talk about the shitful stuff we usually hold onto.

These kinda episodes usually happen to me when I’m fighting my inner demons, manifesting as symptoms of anxiety and/or depression.

IBS sufferers often go through these kindsa “exorcising inner demons” episodes after constipation. Although there’s physical causes for this, we benefit from responding Whole-istically, rather than limiting our focus on symptom management.

That’s why I share my experiences …

Over the last few days my insecuritues have been triggered. I was thrown back into the fear of loss. Once again, overwhelmed with feelings of uncertainty, as I walk through the dream, that is my life.

Yesterday, as emotions intensified, I began to feel more and more detached from reality. I didn’t want to feel connected to anything or anyone because I didn’t want to feel the intensity of my emotions, or process the conflictions of thought weighing heavily in my mind. I just wanted to zone out and not think or feel.

As a nurse, I’m well aware of the physical causes of IBS and the “shits”, but my desire to heal keeps inviting me to dive deeper. To explore how our limited beliefs, thoughts and emotions influence the flow of our energy, that impacts upon our health and wellbeing. If we focus solely on the physical manifestation of symptoms without exploring other possibilities, then we give our power away. Missing opportunities to find the medicine we need to heal.

Fortunately, my partner is open to talk about the shit, but I’ve been struggling to find the source of my insecurity. Unsure why I’m being triggered back into the old stories of limitation, that serve to hold me back. His soulful depths is what I love most about the man he is. I feel safe to be myself. Sharing the truth of who I am, however ugly it may be. As trust builds and our love deepens, I finally feel growth in relationship.

I needed reminded …

When I’m triggered I can either BE reactive (or) observe and BE aware of what’s happening within me.

If emotion is energy in motion, then our feelings are supposed to flow. If the story we attach to emotion creates discomfort. Then we either keep repeating old patterns of thinking (or) break the cycle by making a difference choice.

That is the NEW storylines !!!