Do you ever feel like a duck treading water ?
Those times when we are confronting many or major challenges, when life is changing and times are stressful, when we feel completely overwhelmed. When we appear to have our shit together on the surface, yet people are totally oblivious to us paddling like fuck trying to keep our heads above the water
WHAT IF we stopped paddling ? …
… 1 of 3 things could happen and ALL depend upon OUR choice of action
we could TENSE up, sink to the bottom and DROWN
we could RESIST, splash around frantically and continue to STRUGGLE
or we could RELAX, float on our backs and ENJOY THE RIDE
Hmmmm … when it comes to my own experiences of fear, hurt, depression, anxiety, loss, rejection or failure it’s not so easy to RELAX into the thoughts and feelings that often accompany such experiences, hence my STRUGGLE
Apparently, we privilege our experience of NOW by being more AWARE, whether it be of our feelings, our thoughts or our surroundings …
… but WHAT IF our experience of NOW is shitty and uncomfortable ?
It’s easy to flow and relax into positive experiences, while having the ability to think positive thoughts and being able to flow with positive feelings. But the real challenge is learning how to flow and relax into negative experiences WITHOUT tension, resistance, avoidance or denial …
It’s during times of discomfort that our HABITUAL RESPONSES will often surface. Our defense mechanisms and coping strategies reflected in our choice of action …
WHAT DO WE DO ? … We light the cigarette, pour the drink, eat too much, don’t eat at all, pull back from people, seek out people, hide in our beds, become more social, sleep too much, don’t sleep at all, bite our nails, run, walk, write, read, draw, have sex, masturbate, blame others, blame ourselves, put things into perspective by comparing our experience with others …
We generally will DO whatever we can to shift the discomfort and feel better. But when we shift our discomfort without understanding it, it will only resurface with more intensity during another challenge or conflict
Even with this understanding I’ve still been feeling stuck, blocked, restless and completely fucking FRUSTRATED !!!
? ? ? WHY ? ? ?
Hmmmm (she ponders) … is THIS my problem ?
I can relate to the quote being a woman who is striving to LIVE the life she IMAGINES. A woman constantly moving towards accomplishing her goals, while juggling multiple roles and responsibilities. A woman who BELIEVES that she deserves to LIVE her dreams, regardless of the obstacles
RESISTANCE is something I feel, so WHERE is coming from ?
I believe … ACCEPTING that our past experiences and future hopes impact upon our experience of NOW is the first step to CHANGING any discomforts or conflicts
I think … DENYING this truth only prevents us from understanding what influences our experience and therefore keeps us stuck in our discomforts or conflicts
Over the years I’ve been learning how to observe my thoughts and be more mindful of my thinking, in attempts to identify any beliefs that no longer align with my wants and needs. I’ve been focusing my attention on my own habits and behaviour in attempts to make better choices. I’ve been allowing my feelings to flow as I stand in and express my truth. I strive to keep myself open to change by focusing my time and energy on healing any hurts, that may be preventing me from moving forward
BUT I still feel stuck … WHY ? ? ?
I used to think that once we became comfortable sitting with our discomforts that something would change. But I found that the more I sat with my discomforts the more comfortable I became sitting with them. This kind of thinking didn’t remove my discomforts, it only increased my ability to be able to BE PRESENT with them
I now ask HOW do I move through and LET GO of my discomforts and conflicts
Something I love about women, is their willingness to SHARE their wisdom and SUPPORT others on their journey. A dear friend held space for me to help me explore some relationship challenges and conflicts. During our discussion I became aware of how the appraisal of my feelings were still reinforcing the belief that my feelings were wrong, not valid or justified. We also identified that I unconsciously attached to some feelings as a form of self punishment (insert gasp)
With this sudden new awareness now popping into my consciousness, it automatically CHANGES my experience as I become more mindful of my thoughts and more aware of my feelings, that may influence my behaviour. Of course this raises MORE discomfort as I begin to process and feel my way through this new realization. My dream state reflected a shift in consciousness, which I always find very exciting and extremely interesting …
My dream was about my teeth crumbling and falling out, followed by my jaw coming away from my face. I recall not feeling pain nor fear, but I was shocked and didn’t understand what was happening …
According to dream analysis a broken jaw reflects a sense of loosing a grip on life, reassessing plans because things aren’t going to plan. What I found VERY interesting was how the dream analyst spoke about how the chosen path taken for career growth suffers primarily due to poor economy, but that this must happen for my own mental and spiritual growth … WTF ? … serious goosey bump moment reading those words. Teeth falling out reflects state of anxiety during radical change, feelings of helplessness and a lack of control over life circumstance and experiences of loss. My dreams raised important questions …
Will I continue to maintain my direction long term, will I make small adjustments or will I take a totally different path ?
How willing or able am I to tolerate the discomfort and tension of the situation I’m in ?
What do I need TO DO to better align with my life and priorities ?
Reminding myself to be patient and compassionate with my changing self is something I need more support with. Learning how to truly love myself for ALL of who I have been, am and will be is sometimes no easy quest and can be quite the adventure …
I am a work in progress … and that is OK
With new realizations and insights I am able to consciously make different CHOICES, which then create opportunities for different experiences
A mind-blowing concept to grasp isn’t it … that WE are in complete control over our experiences, that WE have the ability to create any reality we can imagine, that WE only need identify our resistance to change, that WE just need to make a different choice to have a different experience, that WE are our only limitation
Are YOU open to receive what you want ?