Why does a man awaken a woman’s love, with no intentions of loving her in the way that she deserves to be loved ?

Is a question that’s often ran through my mind during my own heart breaks

Oh yes … I’ve allowed my heart to be abused in this way far too many times to mention, but I willingly walked into each and every experience. I chose to follow my heart and then carry it all the way into the depths of despair and desperation

Heart break at its finest

But ladies and gents … it’s time to take back our power and use the heart for the purpose it was created … to LOVE ❤

Maybe …  such men and women are providing us with a gift ?

What if they are awakening us to love ?

Maybe … its got very little to do with the other person at all ?

What if its teaching US to fall in love with the wonderful person that WE are ?

Hmmmmm she ponders

The time has come to rewrite the story about how and why our hearts are broken because I’m no longer buying in to my own bull shit

Lets change our experience of heart break and GROW from it, instead of being paralyzed and overwhelmed by our heart hurts and fears

After all … the gardens that grow best have been fertilized by some very good shit

For TOO long we’ve bought into the fairy tale stories about how the princess is rescued by her prince charming. That we are somehow less than if we are without a partner. But the truth is some women are warriors who are well equipped to handle challenges alone

These wild women refuse to compromise themselves or lower their expectations

… and why should they ?

Such women still open themselves up to love, but they wont hesitate to walk away from anything that causes ongoing conflict and discomfort because she isn’t afraid to walk the path alone, which is why such women are hard to hold onto

But when a romance is over, passions fade and truth sets in, we are thrown out of the fantasy and back into reality with a bang and we feel broken … but WHY ?

We are mature grown ups (most of the time) and acknowledge that not all connections turn into relationships and not all relationships last forever. So what prevents us from allowing the love to come and go as its meant to ?

Why dont we flow ?

What are we holding on to ?

and why the fuck dont we let go ?

Perhaps, its those once upon a time stories we’ve been sucked into and those old out dated scripts that we replay over and over in our minds. Thoughts that reaffirm our beliefs that when a connection changes or a relationship is over …

… that somehow we weren’t good enough or worthy

Well … I’m calling BULLSHIT !!!

Because WE are more than enough … ALL of us

We are ALL growing in love and we are ALL responsible for our own happiness

When we believe this to be true, we no longer hold another person responsible for our happiness and we then stop making someone else accountable for our hurts. We begin to take personal responsibility for our choices and start growing from our experience

We learn how to forgive those who hurt us and ourselves for hurting the one we love because we allow love to flow freely

Our hearts stay open, even when a connection changes or a relationship ends

We  AWAKEN to our truth and we BECOME the love

Sounds easy enough … right ?

Well … I guess that all depends on how much shit we are shoveling

Jean Rhys image ~ Pinterest

Lets indulge in some moon talk and reflect over what it means for us

Tonight’s full moon occurs in Libra, which is the sign of relationships
“This full moon will be a penumbral lunar eclipse. This occurs when the Sun, Earth and Moon align in an almost straight line. When this happens, the Earth blocks some of the Sun’s light from directly reaching the Moon’s surface, and covers a small part of the Moon with the outer part of its shadow, known as the penumbra. That’s quite significant when you think about the symbolic meaning of the Moon being partially cast within the Earth’s shadow… so what are the kind of shadow traits we’re likely to experience this week ? (Tanishka)

Have you been experiencing conflicts and tensions in your relationships ?

If you’re anything like me, it generally happens when we share our thoughts and feelings with little regard for the other person, because we are too absorbed in our own experience
Sounds very unlike me … (insert giggle, grin and snort)

Have you been experiencing feelings of frustration about doing or giving more than you are getting back ? Do you feel like there is unbalance in your relationship ?
Are you upset or angry about the state of our world ?

If we have been affected by this moon cycle then we are experiencing our shadow self. Therefore its time to refocus our attention from what other people are/aren’t doing and whats happening around us … and instead go WITHIN ourselves

Because the universe is providing us with an opportunity for an inner shift

“ALLOW yourself to be eclipsed, to fully enter into your state of feeling, knowing that this embodiment will transform you” (Tanishka)

The main lesson of Libra is to challenge us to choose love or war ?

I choose LOVE ❤

” We must be the change we want to see in the world”

Are we choosing peace in our thoughts, words and actions or are we suffering ?

Are we choosing to avoid the reflections or are we acknowledging them ?

Are we choosing to take the actions of others personally or are we accepting their truth ?

Are we choosing to listen how we are thinking about others or are we denying how it reflects how we think and feel about ourselves ?

Libra is the sign of BALANCE and so it challenges us to temper our emotions with a logic mind, while avoiding the need to rationalize our emotions

According to astrologers this full moon is also significant in the 20 year cycle of Jupiter and Saturn, which began in the year 2000

So, reflect back to what changed in your life during that time

For me, it was a pivotal part of my journey because it was during my trip back to the UK in February 2000, that I started to question my truth
It was the end of my life as I knew it
It was the beginning of my awakening

In 2000 what hopes and dreams ended for you ?
What was clearing away to make way for the new ?
What happened as a result of those changes ?
Where are you NOW ?
Where do you want to be in 5 years time on this journey ?

Important questions to ask ourselves during this cycle because this is a major turning point in our process of change and growth, which will take almost a year to complete. So, its a good time to check in with our goals and reaffirm any inspirations that motivated us to begin with 5 years ago

What was happening in your world 5 years ago ?

For me, there were several important changes occurring …

I changed direction from psychology to counseling, which was a HUGE shift in perception and changed how I experienced the world from then on

The truth came out about the man I loved and I disconnect from him, which broke my heart open and led me closer towards my own truth

I hosted my first full moon gathering, which was the beginning of working with the energy of other women and the universe

I was starting to experience more conflict with my teenage boys, which was the first of many transitions and adjustments as a mother

My relationship with money was changing, which has changed my thinking about money and is hopefully leading me towards living a life of abundance

The next 5 years of this 20 year cycle of Jupiter and Saturn is about committing more consciously to achieving our goals. If we do, then it will successfully manifest into our reality and we WILL be CREATING the future we imagine

VERY EXCITING TIMES !!!

Now, we ask ourselves …
What needs to be adjusted or changed in our lives ?
Whats holding us back from taking the next step towards the life we want ?
What dreams, inspirations, knowledge, perspective, faith, optimism can carry us forward ?
What must we do to stay on track ?

So, take some time out today to reflect over the goals you want to achieve, the experiences you want to have, the things you want to release and what reality you wish to manifest

Because the energy around this full moon is powerful

Together with the universe, its time to work your magic 🌟

Love ❤ … we talk about it, we write about it, we fantasize about it, we avoid it, we celebrate it, we suffer at the hands of it and we can’t live without it.

The experience of love can bring us so much joy when our hearts are full and yet cause us so much pain and anguish when things don’t go as planned or as expected … but why?

Why do we sometimes struggle with allowing love to flow in the direction it wants to take us? and how can we embrace the flow with more acceptance and appreciation? These are questions I often ask myself.

When love is true then why should it matter how, when or where it flows ? Because love forever fills our hearts, regardless of how far away someone lives, if a relationship ends or if a life is lost. The love remains but its the loss that hurts and prolongs our suffering.

I believe that our experience of loss are our biggest teachers on attachment. From personal experience love and loss continue to highlight any of my insecurities and fears. My experiences bring my shadow and dependencies to the surface, that reflect any unhealthy attachments, which have been the cause of most of my suffering when it comes to love, in both my meaningful relationships and intimate connections.

I’m compelled to write about how our attachments influence our experience of both love and loss because I find myself in a familiar space that has triggered some familiar feelings. Only this time I catch myself suspended in this space, experiencing a tension between an old belief system and a new way of being, which has a very different energy to it.

Reflecting over our past experiences is a great way to monitor our growth and development as we mature. Reflecting over how we are thinking, feeling and experiencing our present is a great way to become more aware of ourselves.

We are all here to learn our own lessons in love. Each path leading us in different directions, yet we all arrive at the same destination. Whether we are married, divorced, engaged, single, heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, lesbian, young or old we all experience love. Love is at the very core of all of our relationships with ourselves, our lovers, our family, our friends, our pets, our work, our hopes and our dreams.

I believe this to be true, yet sometimes I still find myself comparing my journey to others. And at times I still feel like I’m being judged for doing it wrong. But maybe our lesson in love is to accept love for what it is and just let it flow, regardless of how, when or where it flows ? Perhaps plans and expectations are nul in void in matters of love ?

I am here to loosen my attachments and deepen my connections ❤

What is your addiction ???

I think I might be addicted to LOVE ❤

Ive explored and researched addiction a lot over the years during my quest of self discovery because of my own bad habits. Learning how a bad habit is formed and why it becomes an addiction has been a very confronting but beneficial experience. (An addiction is a pattern of compulsive behaviour that can have negative impacts on our health and well being).

But it was only the beginning of understanding who I am …

We are so much more than what we think, how we feel and why we do things. We are also wonderful beings of energy and light. Each given the privilege of living a human life, equipped with a mind, a heart and intuition to help us create the opportunities and experiences that we personally need to learn and grow from. But sometimes we can get stuck and fall into bad habits because we loose sight of who we really are and what we are here for.

As we move through our every day lives, we can become mindless in our interactions and habitual in our routines. As we confront our challenges in love, we forget that love isn’t something that we have, it is who we are. When we confront death, we focus on the loss and forget that energy doesn’t die, it goes back to the source of creation (whatever that may be) and continues to influence our life here on Earth.

I believe in magic and that each and every one of us are walking miracles, with the ability to heal and create the life we imagine. Our purpose to find meaning, follow our passions and share it with the world.

To find both purpose and meaning we need to connect with ourselves, others, nature and the source. But our bad habits can sometimes become addictions that disconnect us from ourselves, others, our purpose and the source. Holding us back from living our full potential.

The first and most challenging step in changing our habits is to acknowledge them. To be accountable for ourselves isn’t always easy because its difficult for us to admit our downfalls because we feel less than. But remember that we are neither right nor wrong because there are only choices that bring different experiences and consequences, which we learn from … there are no “mistakes”. We are neither good nor bad because we are all perfectly flawed and we are all beautiful in those imperfections ❤

“Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently to you”

My goal for this lifetime is not to be perfect, but to learn and grow from my experiences. To then share any new insights and understandings with others and hopefully leave the world a better place because of my presence.

“STRESS is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness” … a very interesting point of view that Richard Carlson shares, don’t ya think?

I believe that our challenges, tensions, discomforts and times of stress are generally indications that we’ve outgrown something or that something in our life needs to change. I believe that its an opportunity for GROWTH.

What is YOUR something ?

When we start to BELIEVE that stress has purpose, we have less interest in seeking quick fixes to ease our discomforts and instead we embrace our adversities as wonderful gifts. We dive into those spaces to fully explore them … to find our pearls.

What is YOUR response to stress ?

Do you shut down?
Do you seek out medications?
Do you self medicate with cigs/booze?
Do you soothe with comfort foods/sex?
Do you avoid the discomfort?

I’ve done ALL of the above because I didn’t know any better. But stress management is a habitual process, so we CAN change things . By being more mindful of our automatic responses, which is the key to changing our relationship with discomfort, which then changes our experience of stress.

My advice is …
Take the TIME OUT and prioritize and privelage the experience for what it is.

Be more aware of our NEEDS and have the courage to identify and fullfill our deeper needs, which Rivka Levy (Jewish emotional health: 2015) describes as being our energy centres. According to Rivka wellness is determined upon fullfillment of our 8 deeper needs …

1. Our ability to just “BE” … our faith based foundation for everything

2. Our ability to “FEEL” … our sense of gratitude for everything as it is

3. Our ability to “THINK” … our state of ego that determines our truth

4. Our ability to “LOVE” … our belief in unique goodness

5. Our ability to “SPEAK” … our purpose of self expression and actualization

6. Our ability to “SEE” … our insight into limitations that hinder change and self improvement

7. Our ability to “ASPIRE” … our transcendence of self and relationships towards unconditional love ❤

8. Our ability to “TRANSFORM” … our courage to develop, evolve and grow

When we start to break it down stress management involves much more than we realize. But the more we understand the more effective our monitoring and management of stress will be 😊

Engaging in unhealthy habits as a way of coping with stress doesn’t get rid of the source of stress, it only surpresses it. The source of tension will continue to bubble underneath the surface until we explode. Or we will suffer disease and illness. Sometimes identifying the source of tension is a challenge of its own, especially when we struggle to live our truths.

So a good starting point is to explore alternative activities that we associate with relaxation, especially during times of stress. Maybe like me, your something is to create NEW healthier habits that will improve your overall health and wellbing ?

So here’s some healthier responses to stress that I’ve been doing myself …

SLOWING DOWN and becoming more aware of my deeper needs, by noticing what’s going on within and around me.

SEEKING SUPPORT and knowing that I’m not alone. Utilizing my support networks and the bountiful information & resources that we have at our fingertips.

Taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY because blaming external causes only gives away my power for change.

NOURISHING my body with more healthy goodness and less processed foods and drinking more water. Because basic self care strategies also nourishes my mind with healthier and more productive thoughts.

SLEEP & RESTING because its not only OK to take time out, sometimes its ESSENTIAL for my healing.

Increasing EXERCISE & physical activity because it helps to process the messy mind and shifts blocked energy.

Spending more time in NATURE because it grounds and connects me with the flow of universal energies.

Being more CREATIVE and PLAYFUL because it taps into my self expression and imagination. I do more things I enjoy and experiment with other things I haven’t yet done and I have FUN doing it 😊

MEDITATING because it helps me to become more aware of my connection to self and the source of divine truth ❤

And for the seekers I EXPLORE the space of stress by asking …
What is causing me discomfort?
What is or has changed in my life?
How am I thinking about it?
How does it make me feel?
What am I avoiding and Why?
What am I afraid of?
What is hurting me?
How does the change support my growth?

Our lessons in love come in many different shapes and forms. Not always appearing in the way we had expected or at a time that we intended.

Sometimes we can miss opportunities for love because we convince ourselves that its not the right person, not the right time or not the right situation.

Those of us who have been hurt by love in the past can often confuse our fears with valid reasons, that make more sense than the unplanned connection.

But the truth is …

LOVE is the only thing that sets us free from the confinements of our own minds. Love takes us beyond rational thought and logic, towards a place where anything is possible.

Its difficult to define what love is because it varies for us all, depending upon who and where we are. But our souls recognize love by the way it makes us feel in its presence or absence.

We experience love on a frequency that we don’t always understand, which can be unsettling for those of us who struggle to flow with what is, without rational explanations.

But there’s always something of value and importance to learn when it comes to our experience of love. There’s always a purpose for our connections.

Sometimes we don’t understand why we are attracted to someone or why our hearts fall in love. Sometimes we need to recognize what holds us back. Sometimes we are resistive to love because it’s not packaged in the way we had expected it to be delivered.

This doesn’t mean settling nor accepting less than we deserve. Neither does it mean walking into something without healthy boundaries. Its about trusting that our paths unfold and connect with others for an important reason. A reason we may not yet know or understand.

But if our connection is based on honesty and mutual respect then it will serve our growth. If the love in our hearts is true then its meant for YOU ❤