My abortion contemplations

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There’s always been many a heated debate about abortion, but America’s proposal of an anti-abortion law has social media in a frenzy.

As a woman and as a Mother with a Daughter, it’s a topic that concerns me. And having experienced an abortion at 18 years old, and having suffered the emotional consequences, its a conversation that matters to me.

Having worked through my own feelings of regret, guilt, shame, grief and loss, I don’t choose a side. As a woman of contradiction I choose life, but also respect a woman’s right to CHOOSE whatever is right for her.

I ask YOU …

Are YOU pro LIFE (or) pro CHOICE ?
If you choose LIFE, then ask yourself …
Are YOU pro PEACE (or) pro WAR ?
If you choose PEACE, then ask yourself …
Are YOU at peace with your choice ?

Choosing to have an abortion is NOT a simple YES or NO answer. I can guarantee you that most women agonize over the decision to abort a pregnancy. Yes, there are those who mindlessly use abortion as a form of birth control, which is why expanding upon sexual education is so VERY important. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it again and again.

It’s time to dump the SHAME around SEX

Instead of judging one another, let’s talk more openly about WHY men and women are having sex in the first place. Let’s talk more honestly about how we want to experience intimacy. Let’s talk more openly about how masturbation improves our relationship with ourselves. And for fucksakes let’s be willing to talk more honestly with each other about what our wants and needs are in relationship.

Is it such a radical theory, to suggest that as more men and women become more mindful of themselves and each other, then less people would need to be in the position of chosing abortion ?

Truth is, if a woman decides that an abortion is right for her, then she’ll do whatever it takes to DO it, so making it illegal puts her in danger.

In my opinion taking away a woman’s choice is taking a monumental step back into oppression.

YES, women are STILL being oppressed

Women are STILL being raped
Women are STILL being abused
Women are STILL being manipulated
Women are STILL being disrespected

This is not fiction, but TRUTHS !!!

Just because it’s not happening in YOUR world doesn’t mean it’s not happening in anothers. As Western women we have more rights and privileges.

But lets not forget why …

If it wasn’t for the battles fought in the past, then we wouldn’t have the “sense” of freedom we have today. However, our battles continue because we are STILL being manipulated by men in power with influence. Heck, in truth we’re being manipulated in relationships with wounded men. And as wounded women, we are giving our power away in the name of love.

I’m not interested in debating who is right or wrong because everyone’s experience is valid. In truth, if we dive deep enough into ourselves, we will find that we are ALL healing from historical and cultural patriarchal influences.

But let it be known …

That NO man has the right to guide our mind, body or worth. NO man has the right to tell us what’s right for us and NO man has the fucking right to abuse and disrespect our bodies …. EVER !!!

As men and women …

We ALL need to take full responsibility for our choices. We ALL benefit from being open minded enough to challenge our belief systems, change our thinking and expand upon our consciousness. And we ALL experience more love when we open up our hearts to fully FEEL life.

This is my understanding of HEALING ❤

So, I ask again …

Are YOU pro LIFE (or) pro CHOICE ?

Dear Mam

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I decided to get up early because I needed to stroll on one of my favourite beaches and witness the sunrise. I love this quiet little spot, which is why I took you here for your last sunrise. Memories of our walk together made me smile and cry because I felt your presence.

I sat amongst the rocks and gazed upon the water as the sun rose. Watching the swallows darting to and fro. I listened to one of my favourite songs. The one that opens up my heart and connects me with spirit. Tears fell as I felt life in all its beautiful glory and tragedy flowing through me. A feeling that made me smile and cry because I felt your presence.

As I walked back to the car, a man stepped onto the beach with his dog. The tall, dark and handsome type that captures any womans attention. His warm smile and good morning greeting made me blush. As I walked back to the car, I smiled because I felt your presence.

On the drive home a song played “Save all your kisses for me” and a memory came to mind. I seen you on the dance floor with your parents at our farewell party. The 3 of you embracing, dancing, singing, smiling and crying. A song that was sang by the Brotherhood of Man at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1976, when I was 3 years old. A beautiful message for your 3 daughters today on Mother’s Day …

The power of 3 😊

Whenever I witness the beauty, I find hope 🌞

Forever and Always

I LOVE YOU ❤

Our lives are the NEW stories we need to read

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This week I’ve been struggling …

Most of the time I flow with what IS because my FAITH is strong, but the flow is easily disrupted. It only takes a little something to throw me off balance and into overwhelm.

Truth is, we are living our saddest chapter ever and NOTHING can change that hard truth.

No matter how positive we try to think
No matter how much we’re grateful for
No matter how many blessings we have

Our beloved Dad is still dying from cancer 💔

I apologize if my words hurt your heart.
I understand if you prefer to look away.
I even understand your need to avoid me.

Truth be told, my words hurt MY heart. I want to look away and at times I avoid myself.

Being in the hospice with Dad triggered some painful memories from the past. Because as we confront Dad’s end of life, we relive Mam’s.

It’s hard to be fully present in the NOW …

When we don’t want to be where we are
When we don’t want to see what we see
When we don’t want to feel how we feel

At times, it’s challenging to find the positives and it’s even harder to stay fucking strong !!!

Whenever my thoughts stray into the past, I ride the waves of grief, while trying my hardest to remain fully present in the moments. But how can the moments bring me peace when it feels like we are reliving the past ?

Whenever my thoughts wander off into the future, I experience waves of anxiety because of my fears and uncertainties. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever truly find peace of mind ?

My mind and body need deep-rest (usually known and experienced as depression). I am so very very tired. I want to stay in bed, sleep, switch off and loose myself in Netflex stories, go to the van and create a santuary to retreat to, be wrapped up in someones loving arms or loose myself in the blissful pleasures of sex.

Truth be told, I want to do ANYTHING but get up and confront the harsh realities of what IS.

I wonder …

WHY does the past bury itself so deeply inside of our hearts and minds ? And why the fuck don’t our fears just fuck the fuck off ?

Perhaps its because when we’re going through our most challenging times, we do whatever we can to get through it. And sometimes the only way we can get through it, is to NOT think about it, NOT process it and definitly NOT feel it. Maybe its because we’ve buried our truths ?

Truth is, if you’re like me, then you are learning how to SURRENDER and BE fully present when the moments are the most challenging.

I wonder …

HOW can we BE more present ?

Well, lets start by NOT telling each other to stay fucking strong when we’re struggling and be positive during the worst times of our lives.

LETS KEEP IT REAL !!!

I need your listening ears to hear my fears. Because I need to process and express any conflicting thoughts and feelings causing me inner tension, discomfort and distress.

YES, this will trigger YOUR inner conflicts ❤

I need a hug when I feel weak because I don’t always feel strong. Being held when I’m feeling overwhelmed makes me feel supported as I regain the strength I need to keep going.

YES, this will trigger YOUR vulnerability ❤

I need to BE and FEEL whatever flows without pretending that everything’s OK because my truth makes you uncomfortable. I need to be completely honest, otherwise I put on a mask for your comfort and that hurts me even more.

YES, this will trigger YOUR truth ❤

I need to be supported and encouraged to FEEL my experience without fear of being judged, misunderstood, criticized, rejected or abandoned by those who matter most to me.

YES, this will trigger YOUR woundings ❤

And sometimes, as much as I don’t want to be, sometimes I need to be alone in my most challenging moments. To live it, to process, to fully FEEL it and to break through my barriers.

So, this FULL MOON I ask myself …

What has surfaced to be seen ?
What am I holding onto ?
What is no longer serving me ?
What am I ready to release ?

No matter what our struggle is …

NOW is the time to RELEASE ourselves from mindless suffering, by OPENING up our hearts and minds to NEW possibilities. And allowing Universal energies to flow through us, so we can become the BEST version of ourselves.

Our lives are the NEW stories we need to read

Blessed BE to you ALL ❤