The “Strong Woman”

I have tried to be her and I’m surrounded by many woman like her

BUT I REFUSE TO BE THIS WOMAN !!!

My resistance to accept her continues to create tension within me that I need to share. Because not only have I tried to be the “Strong Woman” but I notice how most people want me to be her. Repeatedly I have heard the phrase “Be Strong” and I’ll be honest with you, it started to really fucking piss me off.

People with the best of intentions are saying stuff that’s triggering this kind of woman into her feelings. For me it happened like this …

“Be strong for your Mam” as my sisters and I watched her dying before our very eyes. “Be strong for your Dad” when she died. Words that made my hurting heart scream !!!

After a conversation with a friend yesterday, I recognized how the anger rising in my belly was triggering my power centre. An inner conflict that was my catharsis for change.

We NEED tension and conflict for CHANGE to occur in our lives, so embrace it, its a gift ❤

Truth is, the strong woman isn’t being authentic because she’s faking it.

She’s faking the smiles for YOUR benefit. She’s surpressing her truth to make YOU feel more comfortable. She isn’t open to fully feel the flow of life because although she may be true to herself, she’s not bringing that truth to the interactions she has with others.

I REFUSE TO BE THIS WOMAN !!!

Truth is, I am NOT strong during those times when life is breaking my heart open.

I AM softened, sensitive and vulnerable

My strength comes from enduring the pain that demands to be felt. So please don’t tell me to be strong when I need to FEEL emotion as it arises because that hinders my healing.

I ASPIRE TO BE A WOMAN OF STRENGTH !!!

Because I strongly believe that our ability to sit with our vulnerabilities and share our uglier truths, is how we have more integrity and stay OPEN to living a more authentic life.

Keep it REAL and HEAL ❤

Universe sure does work in wonderful ways ☺
When it comes to love, there’s an experience that I’ve never been able to fully understand or explain. A connection that was starting to make a little more sense in my own mind, until I began re-feeding the fears and creating unnecessary drama, which was depleting my energy. As thoughts stirred and emotions flowed, something shifted within me energetically, that I’ve been sitting with. Unsure and still feeling a little frustrated because although there’s always been a sense of knowing, I still haven’t been able to fully understand my experience. Laying here tonight, alone with my thoughts with even more wonderings, I decided to open facey and an article from this woman captured my attention. And suddenly things start to make a little more sense … Gratitudes and Appreciations for your guidance Universe, my soul appreciates the support from spirit ❤

Authentic spiritual healing brings us closer to ourselves and the Source of Creation. We feel this deep within when our energy flows. We feel connected to self, others, Nature and Universe.

This kind of healing touches our deepest wounds and brings us face to face with our greatest fears. We FEEL SAFE TO FEEL life intensely.

Life breaks us open

We ride the waves and flow to the beat of life’s pulse.

Its about honesty

Transformation doesnt require us to relive our pain but to accept what was. Being who we are now and creating the future we dream about. Guiding through our fears, resistance, anger, desperation, jealousy, darkness, pain and frustrations. Deeper insights into our own experiences. Transforming energy not yet seen.

Opens our hearts

Not about cutting parts out but helps us to understand and honour those parts until we can bring enough energy to return twisted patterns, beliefs and energy to original loving intent.

We feel more self acceptance even about our non acceptance. Opens up to feel raw vulnerabilities and possibilities

Transforms our experiences

Subtly or Profoundly

Addresses issues at the Source

Struggle ends and we begin to create new experiences. We are free

Hello darkness my old friend 🌚

I haven’t slept much tonight because my moon flow had other intentions. When my energy is flowing with the natural cycles of Universe, I notice how my menstral cycle occurs during the New moon. Something I feel compelled to write about and share with other Goddesses.

Every month the moon circles the Earth, casting shadows. A cycle that influences a woman’s mind, body and soul.

Its no coincidence that both women and Luna have a 28 day cycle. Women are created to flow with the energies of Universe. And when our body and the moon are in synce, our cycle becomes an opportunity to “go with the flow.”

New moon is a great time for women to look inward, to honor our body and assess our lives.

To ask ourselves …

What is and isn’t working ?
What is no longer serving our greater good ?

It’s a time to set intentions and cleanse the body and mind of any stale or blocked energy.

A woman’s menstrual cycle is so much more than inconvenient bleeding and PMS. It’s an ebb and flow of energy. A cyclic rhythm we experience within our bodies that is sacred.

It’s to be celebrated

During the dark moon, we have an innate need to descend into the underworld and explore our shadow self. To confront the hidden parts of ourself that’s been relegated to the darkness by our collective consciousness.

When we make the descent we confront our shadow and connect to our repressed feelings.

We shine a light on our own darkness, which brings more light into the world. Inspiring others to do the same is how we shine brighter.

Each menstrual period and New moon gives us a chance to go within and listen to our own innate wisdom. As we unlock the hidden, darker parts of our psyche, we discover lost knowledge that enables us to heal our deepest wounds and transcend from our greatest fears.

We ascend from the underworld with more intuitive knowing, vision and personal power.

Doesn’t that sound like a journey worth taking?

When life gets ugly
Our lights don’t shine so brightly
We take a step back
Hide in the shadows
But I want to step forward
Out of the crowd
I want to be seen
For ALL of who I am
The pain
The confusion
The failure
The doubt
The guilt
The shame
The fear
But I’m censored
All of my experiences
Influenced by others
My sharing is mine
But its yours too
I feel resistance
Yes, I feel the love
But I’m surrounded by fear
I’m drowning in my truth
Comforted by my shadow
Mindful of your discomfort
Tension that stifles our growth
I breathe into this space
Diving in
I explore
The belief driving the thought ?
The thought energizing emotion ?
Why doesn’t the energy flow ?
What am I holding onto ?
How am I resisting ?
What am I afraid to feel ?
What are you afraid to see ?
Questions that lead me to a whisper
“It is our shadow that fears being seen”

They say to avoid disappointment then don’t expect too much from others, but I disagree because I am the TOO much kinda woman 😊

How can we ever live the kinda life we imagine if we keep lowering our expectations of others?

I want YOU to rise up and be ALL you can be. But your choices DO impact upon my experiences and therefore determine my choices.

So, we must ask ourselves …

Do we want to linger in feelings of resentment because someone isn’t living up to our expectations (or) are we willing to take complete responsibility for our own experiences ?

This has been a BIG switch in my thinking, that’s making all the difference to my experiences 😊

TRUTH is disappointment is a big part of our lives because we ALL want and need things from each other. Therefore, to gain insight into our own feelings of disappointment, we must first look at our own wants and needs.

Ask yourself …

What do I want?
What do I need?
Have I communicated this ?
Can the other person fullfill my wants?
Are they satisfying my needs?

Truth is our disappointments are all about US and it presents itself to teach US something. By holding another person responsible for our experience, we are giving someone else power over our experience. So, how can we RISE in our own power if we keep giving it away ?

Sure, we could waste precious time and energy with our internal conflicts that motivate us to be in conflict with other (or) we can ACCEPT that our wants and needs change as we do 😊

And this my friends, is how we respect each others choices and move forward with LOVE in our hearts ❤

Not all nice people are “nice”

Some paint on the smiles to be nice.
Some bite their tongue to be nice.
Some comfort others with lies to be nice.
Some talk shit to convince you they’re nice.

Truth is, I’m not always nice !!!

Sometimes …

I’m brutally honest with myself and others.
I will speak my truth, even when it hurts.
I acknowledge my own bullshit.
And not afraid to call you out on yours !!!

Truth is, its an act of bravery to expose the real you in a world of masks, created from delusional illusions.

Authenticity is revolutionary

But I’m learning …

To listen and trust my own instincts.
To confide within my circle of trust.
To mindfully share with others.
To be kind instead of faking “nice.”
To keep it fucking real.

Don’t trade your authenticity for approval ❤

Dear Mam,

Its only been 4 months since you got your wings. And although I believe that you’re still with us in spirit, I struggle not being able to see you. And although I keep looking for rainbows, I still feel the heaviness of the storm 💔

Life as we knew it, has changed forever and everything is different now that you’re no longer here with us. Nothing is the same !!!

I wish I could bring more love and light into my days, but life still feels a little dark. Everyday something pops up into my mind to be seen or into my heart to be felt. And I’m so very tired.

You know me, I don’t want to distract myself from my grief. I can’t always maintain a positive attitude. I will always think too deeply and I’ll never avoid my discomforts. Something that challenged you most about me, yet you loved me more than I’ve ever loved myself.

Your unconditional love was my anchor

I hope that I will refind the part of me that was lost during our nightmare. I have faith that one day I will feel happiness within my heart again. I trust that I’ll learn how to live with you in spirit. I believe that love is strong enough to brave any storm. Afterall, I am the wish bone.

I miss you ALWAYS …
and will love you FOREVER ❤

Since Mam’s death, I’ve been well aware of those symptoms of depression. But I believe that depression is a state of DEEP REST. A time when we are forced to look within. To explore any limited beliefs or behaviours that are holding us back. To express and release emotion. To rebalance our energy after something that has or is changing our world.

Its easy to loose ourselves in this space, which is why many of us can stay stuck in a state of suffering. Lost in our minds, with no way out.

Confronting ourselves is NEVER easy !!!

But these 10 basic principles can and do help us to navigate more purposefully …

1) First and foremost take full responsibility for where you are and how you feel. OWN IT !!! Because whether you like it or not, this is YOUR experience to learn and grow from 💔

2) Drag your sorry ass out of bed and make the effort to exercise every day. Even if its only a 30 minute stroll, dragging your feet, feeling sorry for yourself. Because it won’t take long before you’re enjoying the walk.

3) Improve your diet because food is fuel. Be honest with yourself about the shit you’re shoving into your gob. And make the changes to feel better.

4) Switch off the TV and social media and open up a book. Read something inspiring and helpful. Educate yourself and stop filling your head with bullshit that makes you feel like shit.

5) Listen to motivational speakers and learn how to make your mind work FOR you, not against you. Otherwise your mind will be in control. Don’t believe everything you think !!!

6) Stay the fuck away from toxic people and places. YES you have every right to say NO !!! It’s OK to outgrow friendships and relationships that no longer serve your greater good.

7) Meditate, BE STILL and listen to the silence. Take afew minutes (longer and more often the better) to switch off the mind and become aware of your senses. Spend more time in Nature, tune into yourself and connect with Universe. Find your flow.

8) Feed your soul with things that nourish you. Contribute to society in a positive way. Create something beautiful and SHARE it with others.

9) Self reflect. Take time to dive in so you can better understand who you are. This enables you to make better choices.

10) Create a daily routine that includes all these wonderful principles. Keep a diary and see what changes.

PS … be gentle with yourself ❤

My own experiences and the following article inspired this blog ..

https://observerink.com/free-depression-forever-applying-10-basic-principles/

I’m reflecting over the journey …

Many years in Aged Care has forced me to confront my fears around death. And my ongoing commitment to confront my fears and stay open to love, continues to break me open to deeper truths about myself. Experiences that at times, shatter me into pieces, bringing me face to face with some of my greatest fears and exposing some of my deepest wounds.

Death and loss have become my teachers

I’m more aware of how our fear holds us back in a state of suffering. Forcing us to play small and preventing us from living our full potential.

So, I ask …

What is it we fear most ?
What holds us back in fear ?

DEATH and LOSS stands out for me.

I’m learning that once we acknowledge the polarities of life, we soon appreciate the presence of death and loss. We learn how to accept them as part of our experience of life and love. As opposed to something we would rather avoid.

Death and loss continue to teach me !!

Death either rushes into our lives suddenly or it lingers in the shadows. For days, weeks, months or even years, before carrying a soul to the other side.

But its not death we fear, its fear itself.

For when the moment of death finally arrives, there’s often relief, silence and peace. A transformation that occurs before our very eyes, yet our fear often blinds us. Heart pain is felt because we are overwhelmed by our loss.

But what if there’s another way ?

Those with mind’s open to other possibilities, can see more than a lifeless body before them. The open hearted can feel the rush of energy when breath transforms into spirit.

Like birth, the experience can be beautiful. A moment in time, to be cherished forever. But many struggle to witness the beauty, because of an attachment to the body. A focus on the flesh, instead of feeling the warmth of energy that radiates from the soul.

I reflect over my beloved Mother’s recent death. How we witnessed the beauty of her transition to spirit. But it still didn’t stop the overwhelming sense of loss. Although we believe in spirit, we are learning how to accept the spirit of our Mother. Reframing our thoughts from the loss of her physical body, to the energy transformation into spirit.

I can’t help but wonder …

What if we didn’t fear death ?

Would it alter our experience of life ?

If we knew when death was coming for us, would we live life differently ?

What if death isn’t the end ?

Would we celebrate the transition ?

If we knew death was a new beginning, would we experience death differently ?

Hmmmmmmm, she ponders 🤔

Many a night I’ve laid down in my bed,
alone with such thoughts in the darkness. My own fears lurking in the shadows, threatening to distinguish my own inner flame, if I dared to stay in the depths of my mind for too long.

I’m learning how our fear serves to break us free from the limitations of our minds. That liberating ourselves from our fear is how we experience more love.

But I wonder, how do we let go of what or who we fear to loose ?

We must first acknowledge the fear itself. Something that has the ability to break us, opening our hearts to FEEL the fear.

This is the heart break 💔

As I reflect over my own struggle with Mam’s death, I acknowledge how I still hold onto the loss of her physical body. Afraid that I’ll never be able to see, hear or feel her again.

As I reflect over my own struggle to stay true to my heart, I acknowledge how I’ve held onto relationships. Afraid that I may never grow with another in love.

So, I asked the question …

How do we loosen our grip on what we fear to loose, when our fear causes us to hold on tighter ?

A whisper replies …

You sit in the silence and acknowledge the fear. You must FEEL it before you can release it. Then in a state of surrender, the fear holds no power. This is the shift from fear to love and you then allow the LOVE to flow freely ❤

So, if our fears are the stories we tell ourselves, then we can rewrite the story.

I continue to ask myself …

What stories are you telling yourself ?
Are you motivated by fear or love ?

Everyday I make a conscious choice to challenge my thoughts, to ensure my actions are motivated by love not fear.

Mindful interaction ❤