Sometimes the flow doesn’t take us on a horizontal path. Sometimes its a veritcal descent into our shadow. I understand these to be our personal storms, but they have a collective purpose.
My horizontal flow has been disrupted, and I’ve been flowing vertically for what feels like most of the year.
Grief has taken me on one hell of a ride !!!
When Dad died, I couldn’t just “get on” with life because I didn’t have anything or anyone to go back to. My relationship had ended before I left the UK, and I didn’t want to care for anyone’s end of life anymore. I didn’t want to care at all.
It was just me and my shattered dreams.
So, I choose to honour my truth, to privelage my process, to dive into the depths of myself, to sit with my discomforts and to figure shit out.
For the last 3 years, I’ve flown to the UK (3) times and returned to Australia (3) times. While in Australia, I lost (3) people I love. While in the UK, I had (3) meaningful love connections.
The significance of (3) cannot be denied.
“3 is the number of the Trinity and an auspicious sign for anyone, especially for light workers and those involved with spiritual development.”
I’ve been noticing angel numbers more frequently for weeks now. Although I’m aware this is one of the many ways spirit connects, I’ve been feeling a sense of awareness that’s just out of my reach.
What am I missing ?
“Angel numbers are communications from our guides intended to provide us with the guidance and encouragement needed to achieve our aims.”
Last night I had a conversation with spirit while laying in bed. Personal experiences of shame surfaced around sex. I wonder why shame didn’t make it onto the diagram? I suppose others haven’t either.
Anyhoo, I’ve done things in the past I’m not particularly proud of, but these experiences have shaped the woman I am. I don’t feel ashamed of anything I learn and grow from, but shame was triggered by my recent behaviour.
For me, abstinence and/or sexual unfulfillment can bring another side to the surface. Causing me to drift away from a spiritual path, seeking out the external arousals of pornography.
Some would say, the fall from Grace.
I’m not a religious person, so I don’t believe sex or porn is a sin, but I am mindful of the kind of experiences I want to have.
I’m less interested in the shallow satisfactions of sex. And more curious about how a soulful connection, and a sense of spiritual bliss can transcend beyond, and expand upon our experience of physical pleasure.
Everything porn is NOT !!!
It wasn’t an opportunity or an invitation to forgive myself. It actually felt more like a demand. As I began to feel the stings of shame, I thought about other “sinners”. Those less mindful of themselves who are disconnected from spirit. Those who loose themselves in distorted thoughts, perversions and deviations. Those who abuse, rape, torture and murder.
And my heart broke open 💔
I cried for all those who suffer abuse, and I cried for all those who abuse.
I felt a connection I didn’t really want to feel, but obviously needed to. It seems, the more conscious I BEcome, the more I feel part of a collective conscience.
Yup, sometimes I FEEL as crazy as that sounds. But I keep getting nudges from spirit that reassures me. I’m not crazy, I just see things that others don’t need or want to see.
My descent has been brutal these last few months. There were times I wasn’t sure I’d make it out of the darkness. In truth, I’m still thrown into the cyclone of the storm of shadows when the need arises.
But these personal storms have NEW meaning and a collective purpose.
So I neither fear nor avoid them 🌪
I believe …
Emotions are triggered and directed by our thoughts, so how we think and what we believe matters. Our choices are dependant upon those thoughts and beliefs. It’s WHY I observe the conversations between my head and heart. It’s HOW I identify any limited beliefs that restrict my spiritual growth.
E-motion is ENERGY in motion.
Like the Alchemist, we have the ability to transcend our lower vibrational energy into fuel for our growth. Like the Shar(wo)man we have the ability to alter our state of consciousness, and channel transcendental energies.
WE are our own Medicine Wo(men)
Let that thought linger with you awhile and ALLOW it to empower YOU 🔥