Sometimes the flow doesn’t take us on a horizontal path. Sometimes its a veritcal descent into our shadow. I understand these to be our personal storms, but they have a collective purpose.

My horizontal flow has been disrupted, and I’ve been flowing vertically for what feels like most of the year.

Grief has taken me on one hell of a ride !!!

When Dad died, I couldn’t just “get on” with life because I didn’t have anything or anyone to go back to. My relationship had ended before I left the UK, and I didn’t want to care for anyone’s end of life anymore. I didn’t want to care at all.

It was just me and my shattered dreams.

So, I choose to honour my truth, to privelage my process, to dive into the depths of myself, to sit with my discomforts and to figure shit out.

For the last 3 years, I’ve flown to the UK (3) times and returned to Australia (3) times. While in Australia, I lost (3) people I love. While in the UK, I had (3) meaningful love connections.

The significance of (3) cannot be denied.

“3 is the number of the Trinity and an auspicious sign for anyone, especially for light workers and those involved with spiritual development.”

Hmmmmmm 🤔

I’ve been noticing angel numbers more frequently for weeks now. Although I’m aware this is one of the many ways spirit connects, I’ve been feeling a sense of awareness that’s just out of my reach.

What am I missing ?

“Angel numbers are communications from our guides intended to provide us with the guidance and encouragement needed to achieve our aims.”

Hmmmmmm 🤔

Last night I had a conversation with spirit while laying in bed. Personal experiences of shame surfaced around sex. I wonder why shame didn’t make it onto the diagram? I suppose others haven’t either.

Anyhoo, I’ve done things in the past I’m not particularly proud of, but these experiences have shaped the woman I am. I don’t feel ashamed of anything I learn and grow from, but shame was triggered by my recent behaviour.

For me, abstinence and/or sexual unfulfillment can bring another side to the surface. Causing me to drift away from a spiritual path, seeking out the external arousals of pornography.

Some would say, the fall from Grace.

I’m not a religious person, so I don’t believe sex or porn is a sin, but I am mindful of the kind of experiences I want to have.

I’m less interested in the shallow satisfactions of sex. And more curious about how a soulful connection, and a sense of spiritual bliss can transcend beyond, and expand upon our experience of physical pleasure.

Everything porn is NOT !!!

Hmmmmmm 🤔

It wasn’t an opportunity or an invitation to forgive myself. It actually felt more like a demand. As I began to feel the stings of shame, I thought about other “sinners”. Those less mindful of themselves who are disconnected from spirit. Those who loose themselves in distorted thoughts, perversions and deviations. Those who abuse, rape, torture and murder.

And my heart broke open 💔

I cried for all those who suffer abuse, and I cried for all those who abuse.

I felt a connection I didn’t really want to feel, but obviously needed to. It seems, the more conscious I BEcome, the more I feel part of a collective conscience.

Yup, sometimes I FEEL as crazy as that sounds. But I keep getting nudges from spirit that reassures me. I’m not crazy, I just see things that others don’t need or want to see.

Hmmmmmm 🤔

My descent has been brutal these last few months. There were times I wasn’t sure I’d make it out of the darkness. In truth, I’m still thrown into the cyclone of the storm of shadows when the need arises.

But these personal storms have NEW meaning and a collective purpose.

So I neither fear nor avoid them 🌪

I believe …

Emotions are triggered and directed by our thoughts, so how we think and what we believe matters. Our choices are dependant upon those thoughts and beliefs. It’s WHY I observe the conversations between my head and heart. It’s HOW I identify any limited beliefs that restrict my spiritual growth.

E-motion is ENERGY in motion.

Like the Alchemist, we have the ability to transcend our lower vibrational energy into fuel for our growth. Like the Shar(wo)man we have the ability to alter our state of consciousness, and channel transcendental energies.

WE are our own Medicine Wo(men)

Let that thought linger with you awhile and ALLOW it to empower YOU 🔥

I love how Facebook asks us what’s on our minds. It’s nice to know someone cares. I wonder, are you like me? Do YOU have a relationship (of sorts) with Facebook? It’s not as strange as it may sound.

FB is the new “Friend’s with Benefits”

And I love my FB ❤

I love how it prompts me to share with you. I love how it nudges me to create a post, reminding me that I’m a creator. Of stories such as this. I love how it gives me a platform to hone my craft of writing. I love how I get to share that process with you all. I love that if I was to die tomorrow, it doesn’t matter if I never got around to writing my books. Because I’m already writing and sharing my stories with you NOW 😊

So … what’s on my mind today ?

❤ L.O.V.E ❤

Brace yourself because a religious post (of sorts) is coming, but I do hope you keep reading because I believe it’s a story worth sharing 😊

I’m not religious because I don’t align to ONE particular faith based belief. I believe religion has and does separate us, which is why I’ve challenged my own “Christian beliefs.” I rid myself of the “Christian” label years ago because I felt restricted by it. Not because I don’t believe the stories of Jesus. Not because I don’t believe in a Higher Power. Not because I don’t believe the Bible holds some value. But because other religions have their own stories, and their own Holy Scriptures they teach from.

I was curious about how religion, culture and history, has and does influence and shape us. How it’s influenced and shaped societies. And how it’s influenced and shaped our beliefs. By ridding myself of a label, I gave myself the freedom I needed to explore other religions, cultures, stories and beliefs. I allowed myself to BE open minded to other possibilities.

At the core of most, if not ALL religion is

FAITH 🙏🏾 HOPE 🌟 LOVE ❤

Those are the things that CONNECT us

I now consider myself to be a spiritual BEing. I don’t align with a particular name given to a Higher Power, because they’re all forms of the ONE, which I believe to be The Source of ALL Creation. Whatever or whoever that is ?

Maybe WE are the Universe ?

I’m not comfortable giving it a name because it has many names. I’m less interested in what we call it, and more intrigued about what it IS.

I believe it to BE an energy that’s within us. A belief that’s given me the freedom I needed, to explore another way of BEing in this world.

I recall a conversation I had with a Taxi Driver in the UK. While waiting at the traffic lights, he commented on a young woman crossing the road. I had noticed her too because she was in full Muslim dress, with her face covered, but she was wearing bright pink stiletto heeled shoes. He said something along the lines of, dressing to appear like something she wasn’t. According to him she was a drug addict, with a very shady character.

It was a conversation I’ll never forget …

We couldn’t get any further apart in our beliefs. He was of Muslim faith and I’m a free spirited woman, but we talked openly and honestly about some very deep stuff, in a short space of time.

He shared how he didn’t taste alcohol until he was in his late 20s, because his religion didn’t permit it. I shared how my relationship with alcohol was changing. He shared how once he tasted it, he began binge drinking and suffered the consequences. I shared the challenges I’ve had as a single Mum and he shared his, as a single Dad. We shared what we thought and how we felt about dating. He shared his beliefs in God and I shared my beliefs in Goddess. And I blew his mind OPEN when I shared …

That I believe God is a male energy, influenced by the Sun and guided by reason (the mind). And Goddess is a female energy, influenced by the Moon and guided by love (the heart).

That both female and male energy is within us all. That our healing involves learning how to BALANCE these energies. That this influences the quality of our relationships and therefore our interaction with others.

The drive only lasted 30 minutes and in that time we had shared something meaningful. We left feeling hopeful and most of all CONNECTED in our differences, and UNITED in our efforts.

Freeing myself from the limitations of my mind, has made me less attached to my own beliefs. So, I’m less interested in defending my beliefs, and more focused on learning and growth.

The FREE spirited woman I am doesn’t want to argue about who’s right or wrong. I don’t want to get into religious and political debates, that loose sight of what really matters most …

❤ L.O.V.E ❤

I want to know who YOU are. So, tell me about your culture and how your faith based beliefs has and does influence and shape who you are.

I want to know what you believe in?

What’s tested your faith? Have you ever wrestled with the demons in your own mind? What have you learned from those battles? How do you connect to Source? When have you lost all hope? Have you ever been lost in the darkness of your own shadows? What gives you strength to carry on? What are you most afraid of loosing? How do you approach challenges and conflicts? What are you doing to create a better world? How do you consciously shift from fear to love?

Let’s talk about how we BE the L.O.V.E ❤

I’m not one to toot my own horn,
but sometimes
we have to blow our own bubbles.

Not because our ego demands it,
but because we finally believe
the truth of who we are.

I am a woman of substance,
striving to live a life that matters.

A participant,
not a spectator.

I have a brilliant mind,
and a warrior’s heart.
My spirit is strong
and the vessel I inhabit
is a soft and sensual body.

The fleshy goodness of my BEing

I wasn’t just made for love.
I was fucking created for it.

My very BEing screams LOVE

YES !!! YES !!! YES !!!

I am worthy of what my heart desires
I am worthy of creating my dreams.

My heart guides me towards it.
My soul knows it.
But I needed to change my mind.
To liberate myself from old stories.

I am not TOO much
I am more than enough
I am worthy of love

Because I am LOVE

Love isn’t something we seek
Love isn’t something we earn
Love isn’t something we buy
Love isn’t something we deserve

LOVE is something we ARE

It flows as freely as the rivers flow.
Can be felt regardless of our emotions.
Love doesn’t flow from an idea,
or a thought in our heads.
It’s not dependant on conditions or rules.

Love breaks ALL the rules.

It’s a way of BEing in this world.
Considered radical by those who sleep.

LOVE isn’t lost when a loved one dies,
it doesn’t know time or space.
When love is shared,
it’s eternal.

Forever and Always ❤

It doesn’t matter if a relationship
flourishes with growth,
or if it withers away to nothing.

LOVE doesn’t give a fuck
who said what.
It doesn’t care who’s to blame.
There is no tit for tat,
or karma drama bullshit.

LOVE forgives
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

LOVE isn’t dependant
upon what another
does or doesn’t do for us

It just IS

LOVE doesn’t subside into friendship,
because it can’t be diluted.

LOVE knows no such boundaries.

Our minds think the thoughts
Our hearts feel the emotions
But our spirit IS the love

LOVE is the light
that radiates from our soul.
And it can be seen,
through the eyes.

It’s the sparkle we see.

Like moths,
we’re drawn to the light.

A soul recognizes itself,
when its reflected back.

Like mirrors,
we see what we’re looking at,
or what’s missing.

Like magnets,
we attract what we are.

BE the love you seek,
and together
lets BE the change we want to see.

Guess what …

Those of us crazy enough
to believe we can change the world.
Usually DO ✌😍

On my walk home from work the other day, I decided to take a different route. It was hot as fuck and I was tired, so I was trying to find a quicker way back. I took a short cut through a park, that joined onto the road I was heading for. I was walking against the wind, but it was a welcomed relief from the heat. Although it made me work a little harder, the warm wind blew the sweat from my face, which helped to make me feel a little cooler.

As I walked through the park, I didn’t know there was a shop there. I noticed a young chubby woman fussing around her car, that was parked outside the nursery. She was wearing a grey tshirt, a short black skirt and a pair of thongs on her feet. As I approached, I watched her re-arranging the plant pots in the boot. She had a blonde bobbed hair cut, that was all messed up from the wind. She was wearing silver rimmed glasses and looked kinda nerdy, but she was cute.

When I reached her she was standing on her tippy toes, leaning into the boot. She didn’t acknowledge my presence with a smile. Instead I came face to face with her bare arse. I was surprised, amused and a little aroused by her confidence if I’m honest. She must have felt the wind blowing around her bare cheeks. She must have known her arse was on show. Maybe she was too distracted by the plant pots? Perhaps she liked how the wind felt on her skin? Maybe she liked knowing people were looking at her arse? It’s a nice arse, why wouldn’t she be proud of it. I’d flash mine if it looked like that.

I kept on walking, thinking to myself how nice it was to appreciate another woman’s body, without feeling the pangs of insecurity or the stings of jealousy. I thought about insensitive partners who’ve crossed the line of admiration. I thought about how those men have made me feel insecure about my own body, having not expressed the same admirations for mine. So I made a promise to myself. To stop pointing out my flaws and start admiring my own body. To love my flattened peachy arse.

Then I noticed a middle aged man walking down the road towards me. He was tall and heavy set, but he didn’t walk tall and proud. His shoulders were hunched and he leaned forward as he walked. He was taking big strides, so he was approaching fast. He was wearing red shorts and a green buttoned shirt. Carrying an empty Coles shopping bag, that was blowing around his knees. His hair was longish, black and greasy. He was walking with the wind, so his hair was blowing all over his face, which was sticking to his facial stubble.

As he got closer I couldn’t help but smile at his style. He was wearing an Hawaiian shirt with surfing Santa’s on. I was amused because he looked like a festive grump, with the scowl on his face. Ho ho fucking ho. Like the young girl, he didn’t look my way me either. For a moment I actually wondered if I was visible. Maybe they can’t see me? Perhaps I’m not really here? Maybe my body’s in bed sleeping already? Perhaps I’m dream walking?

No, he just seemed a little shy and awkward. So he was avoiding eye contact. Focused on keeping his hair out of his face and getting to the shop to fill his bag. I chuckled to myself because he was heading towards the young girl. I wondered if he was gonna get a flash too

As I reached the top of the road, I was over taken by two young men on my right. They were chatting and seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere. I didn’t get a good look at their faces, but one of them was taller than the other, with broad shoulders. His skin was sun kissed and he had a tattoo on his upper arm.

My body automatically responds to a man with  height, broad shoulders, big hands and a sexy smile. I don’t mean to sound crude, but it’s like instant lubricant to my loins. As a woman in her sexual prime, my imagination went wild and I thought to myself. I need a younger lover, with stamina to satisfy my sexual appetite.

As I turned the corner, I looked back on the road I had just walked and smiled to myself. I wonder where the next path with lead me? I wonder what other unexpected things I’ll see? I wonder what other delights await me?