My first up close and personal experience with Lilith


The Inner Goddess Makeover, by Tanishka … “a map for empowering he feminine within”
In the first chapter of Tanishkas “The Inner Goddess Makeover” we are introduced to Lilith, our inner wild woman. I was raised as a “good” Christian child who had a pretty close relationship with the Church of England growing up. I was christened, confirmed, went to Sunday school and was even in the Church choir (dont laugh). So, the first time I heard the story of Lilith I felt a multitude of emotions, the loudest being anger, sadness and frustration. Acknowledging and RELEASING these emotions was the beginning of my heart healing and my first up close and personal experience with Lilith energy

So … what is the story of Lilith ?

According to Hebrew mythology Lilith was the 1st wife of Adam, who refused to lay beneath him in sexual intercourse because she would not kneel to his demands for male dominance. She fled, refused to come back, was cursed by “God” who then created a more subservient and submissive Eve for Adam. Lilith returned to the Garden of Eden (the evil ex wife) with new insights and knowledge that she wanted to share with Eve. We better know Lilith as being the serpent who offered the apple “knowledge” to Eve

Hmmmmm … she ponders

Some say that the story of Adam and Eve was actually the beginning of the patriarchal system, which kinda makes sense. Perhaps this explains why Lilith has been demonized over the years ?


What if her disobedience and promiscuity threatened this system ?

Hmmmmm … she ponders

Its not just our own individual stories that impact upon our experiences

ALL of our stories from the past continue to influence the present and help to shape our future … so I believe that this is a story well worth knowing

As a culture we are GROWING and forever CHANGING because of our stories

Our EVOLUTION depends upon it

But, we no longer seek to follow a matriarchal or a patriarchal system

We seek BALANCE and EQUALITY between the two

And I believe that we can CREATE this by learning from our past


The first time I worked though the wild woman chapter I had to work through a lot of my own crap that was getting in my own way … the superficial BULLSHIT that deterred me away from the deeper truths that sat in dark corners

All those wonderful little gems waiting to be found

Treasures that unleashed MORE emotion, MORE thoughts, MORE questions

I was ANGRY as fuck for being misled and suppressed by a patriarchal system. Led to believe that the creation of our wonderful world began with the story of Adam and Eve

But, seriously … have any of us really believed that as TRUTH ?

I’m not saying that I dont believe in a Higher Power of Creation … because I DO

I’m not saying that Ive blindly followed the masses … because I haven’t

I’m only expressing my belief that ALL of our sacred scriptures are stories that share a version of truth, not THE ultimate truth to be swallowed up as being gospel … I believe that this is one of the biggest downfalls of religion

I was ANGRY as fuck for all the BULLSHIT women have had to go through over the years to get us to this point in time, which triggered off some deeper emotions on a collective level. A profound sense of connection to our ancestors before us who were persecuted as witches and beaten into submission. Those brave souls who refused to SIT DOWN and SHUT UP and instead STOOD UP and SHOUTED OUT !!!

If it wasn’t for them then WE as women wouldn’t be able to EMBRACE the GODDESS

So … from my heart to yours I THANK YOU ❤


Working through the “Lilith” chapter wasn’t all that pleasant the first time around for me because I unleashed so much emotion during my own personal acknowledgments, which had my energy in a frenzy for several months. Keeping an open mind and heart wasn’t always so easy while I was sitting with those horrid hurts and fucked up fears, but something kept telling me to …

“STAY OPEN in any which way you can”

So I did … with my French lover ❤

But I’m pleased to say that my experience has been VERY different the second time around. After staying OPEN and releasing the emotions attached to this energy, Ive been able to tap into the source of Lilith and my own sacred space … for want of a better word ☺


This leads me to introduce you to CHAKRA (wheels of light)

According to C. G Jung they are “The Gateways of Consciousness”

“The 7 main chakras lie along the nave of the spine and through them a persons spirit and soul become receptive and communicate with cosmic energies. Each chakra has its own purpose, association and connection. Balancing the chakras and making them receptive to the Divine Universe is not only beneficial to our well being but also the only way of uniting the Individual soul with the soul of the Universe”

According to Tanishka our Lilith energy is strongly connected to our ROOT chakra, which is SURVIVAL based (instinct) and is the very FOUNDATION of who we are. It links us to our physical world and defines our concept of BEING

When this chakra is blocked we have an inability to trust. We focus on material possessions and we either have a strong need to satisfy or deny our desires

When BALANCED and in HARMONY we experience a profound CONNECTION to nature. We TRUST and have a deep understanding and appreciation for the EBB and FLOW

Our root chakra is located between our genitals and anus, which explains why my sexual energy has been whirling like a whiz. An interesting space to find myself while abstaining from sex because my sexual frustrations seem to be transforming into something else … something NEW

“Lilith INSISTS that we feel through, let go and surrender to something essential and transparent in us that is the bedrock of the soul” (M . Kelley Hunter)

Hmmmmm … you betcha she does


Gathering in circle with other women to share our individual experiences with Lilith energy has been a wonderful part of this process

Some are a little reluctant to fully open up as yet, so are tentatively dipping their toes into the chapter, the circle and themselves. Some are sitting with uncomfortable realizations, so are in the midst of conflict and tensions. Some are throwing themselves into the depth of the process, digging for those unknown treasures and secrets that await to be found in the darkness and we ALL move in between and across those spaces, depending upon what surfaces for us


But regardless of walking different paths, having had different experiences, facing different challenges, sitting with different discomforts, confronting different tensions, healing different hurts and overcoming different fears …

We are ALL opening up to NEW experiences ❤

Ive always known that there is so much MORE to life and this journey INWARDS is bringing me closer to what I seek. For me I wrap up this first chapter with a deep sense of appreciation for both Eve and Lilith. I express GRATITUDE for both energies within myself because they each hold value and important links to our past, present and future


I believe that SOCIAL MEDIA is a platform for CHANGE, which is why I choose to SHARE my process with you

I believe that one person has the ability to CREATE the flow of energy for others

I believe that we INSPIRE and SUPPORT others to OPEN and HEAL when we DO

I believe that this is only the BEGINNING of something EXTRAORDINARY


For me the EMBODIMENT of Lilith energy is about our autonomy, sexual equality and the beginning of our destined journey of CONSCIOUSNESS ❤

Do YOU want to tap into YOUR Lilith energy ?

Then do ALL you can to stay OPEN in mind, body and spirit

STAND in and EXPRESS your truth


Tap into ALL of your SENSES

Unleash your WILD WOMAN in the way that feels right for YOU

EXPERIMENT with and EXPLORE this energy

Because it WILL change YOUR life

As we know MEDITATION takes on many forms and for me DANCING to tribal music has been helping me to channel my Lilith energy almost instantly

Oh yes …. those wonderful whirly whizzing red vibrations ☺

So empty the house of people, BE ALONE, draw the curtains, light the candles, play this music, close your eyes, feel the sounds, rip off your clothes, sway your hips and let the mood carry you away to wherever it wants to take you

I invite YOU to liberate yourself☺

❤ ❤ ❤ … ENJOY … ❤ ❤ ❤

Why are Goddesses gathering in circles ?


This blog is all about sharing my own personal experience with the process of CHANGE

So, I feel its important to talk about a very personal journey I’m currently on

Being a moon gazer and seeking to flow better with my menstrual cycle, the universe connected me with Tanishka “The Moon Woman.” A woman who has been empowering women for over 20 years by reawakening us to those wonderful lost ancient traditions of Woman Wisdom

During her online “Red Tent” course I was introduced to the “Goddess Makeover”, which I began to work through alone. But after experiencing some profound shifts within myself, I decided to share the journey because I knew that the experience would be richer within a circle of women. And this is how our Goddess Gatherings have come about


Tanishka introduces us to 7 Goddesses, who she believes best represent our 7 main energy centers (chakra). She takes us through a 7 step program towards experiencing the true power of our feminine essence

“Unlike the quick fix exterior makeovers that fade when you take a shower, this insightful and life affirming journey of self discovery will empower your feminine sense of self for a life time”

Hence why it tickled my interest

But you know what, women have ALWAYS gathered in circles, they’ve just taken on different forms over the years

How many Tupperware parties have you been invited to ?

Come on ladies, were they really about the plastic containers ?

Women are intuitively guided to gather together because sharing and supporting each other kinda comes naturally for most of us. But dont you think its kinda odd that things like Tupperware, lingerie and makeup parties relate to being a “good wife” who is gathering stocks for her kitchen and finding ways to better stimulate and satisfy her husband by “looking good”

Hmmmmmmm … she ponders

Thank fuck for those sexually liberated friends sending out invitations to sex toy parties and Goddess gatherings. Those of us who seek to empower women to be ALL they can be, instead of confining ourselves to those patriarchal “good” boxes

My gatherings with women have always included family and friends. So I was thrilled when my Mam, both sisters and a few friends showed interest in this Goddess makeover because I knew it would bring a more personal sense of meaning and purpose to our circles … and it IS ☺

What I love most about Tanishkas 7 step program is how she guides us towards our own individual stories, which we then share in circle. Our gatherings are focusing on how old stories from our past have shaped and influence our experiences. This helps us to identify any tensions and conflicts that are holding us back or limiting us. Those things that are blocking our flow of energy and preventing us from living our truest potential

My role as facilitator is to provide the space, resources and tools to experience and support our personal journey of discovery, that we each move through at home at our own pace. I strive to encourage each woman to step out of her comfort zone, where she begins to tap into her own creative power, which she also shares in circle

The circle itself then takes on a power all of its own

It becomes a circle of transformation

A sacred space where we are all supported and nurtured during our process of healing and growth, which is why … “Each time women gather in circles with one another the world heals a little more”  ❤

Seek and you shall find …


Contemplating over some recent conversations Ive had, I’m reminded that although seeking solitude is an essential part of our spiritual change and growth, so are the conversations we have with others.

 I often seek solitude and isolate myself to process new information, release emotions and to basically privilege my own changes as they flow. I find I need this time and space more the deeper I go because without it I begin to feel suppressed and quite agitated. Other times I seek out the kinda conversation that stimulates my interest, sparks off more curiosities, takes me in other directions and raises different questions. Throwing Rapunzel back into her tower of solitude for more reflective thinking.

Its no secret that I have a passionate interest into the human experience. Ive been exploring different layers of truth for some years now. Exploring how our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, energy and relationships have and DO influence our experiences. Learning to identify how our hurts and fears create blocks that hold us back from living the life we imagine. I’m also very curious about how our individual perceptions of reality can dramatically alter our experiences, which raises some interesting questions to ponder …

How does my reality differ from yours ?

What creates and supports those differences ?

Why are we challenged and threatened by some realities ?

Can we exist in multiple realities at the same time ?

Over the years Ive often been told that I live in my own fantasy fairy world, to open my eyes to how the world “really” is, to get my head out of the clouds, to take off my rose coloured glasses and to be “realistic”

It’s true, my reality IS different to most.

I’ve had conversations with my family, that’s highlighted how many of my memories often differ to theirs, which has nothing to do with my inability to recall and everything to do with only remembering those things that are of importance to me. I’ve had conversations with friends who have made similar life choices, yet have had very different experiences to my own. I’ve had conversations with people diagnosed with dementia, depression, anxiety, bi-polar and schizophrenia who have a very different experience of reality. I’ve had conversations with mystics and psychics who connect with spirit that co-exists alongside our reality.

Conversations that suggest reality is subjective.

I believe in reincarnation, past lives and that there are other life forms existing on other planets and Ive recently been challenged by the possibility of parallel universes and multiple dimensions

Yes, it’s all mind blowing stuff !!!

Speaking of which, Ive recently had several experiences of “face morphing” or otherwise known as “transmutation” Something Ive never even thought of before, let alone experienced. It first happened while I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink, looking into the mirror and seeing someone elses face, which I just put down to poor lighting and sleepy eyes. Then my sister witnessed my face change during a conversation, which we just laughed off until my Mam had the same experience chatting with me a few days later … is the whole family crazy ? … Absolutely ☺ hahahahahaha

Although Ive heard various opinions and theories, I’m still not really sure what I believe or what it actually means, but its intriguing me. There are a lot of conversations being had on various social media platforms about how our world is shifting from a 3rd to 5th dimensional consciousness. Those who believe that my face morphing experience is reflective of my own energy shifts, which led me to do a little research

In brief ….

The 3rd Dimension is the material world of thought, which is our physical reality. Here we often experience a strong sense of separation from ourselves, others and the source of creation because we are exploring the material world in our human form. Our focus is primarily on raising our families, buying our homes, going to work, planning holidays and paying the bills. We seek retirement and we grow older. We identify ourselves as being a mother, a daughter, a nurse and a student etc. We describe ourselves as being someone who is honest, smart, curious, loyal and responsible etc. Its where the thinkers wander

The 4th Dimension is the magical world of emotion, which is the astral plane of truth. Here we experience a strong sense of polarity because its where we learn how to balance our light/darkness and our strength/shadow. Our primary focus is connecting to spirit and tapping into our creative potential. We seek enlightenment and we grow wiser. Its where we find unusual powers and phenomenon. We identify ourselves as being a witch, enchantress, psychic, healer and light worker etc. Its where the magic makers, star gazers, heart healers, spirit whisperers, moon worshipers, forest dwellers, artists, visionaries, time travellers and astral projectors drift

The 5th Dimension is the miraculous world of love, which is the heavenly plane of light. Here we experience a strong sense of connection to ourselves, others and the source of creation because we are open for universe to manifest miracles though us. We are co-creators of our reality with universe. In this space our actions are based entirely on love, not fear because there is complete trust and faith in spirit. We seek nothing and we grow lighter. We identify ourselves as being divine beings of love and light and openly share our visions. Its where the spiritual masters and mentors mosey

Hmmmmm … she ponders

Our journey back home to ourselves is quite the wonderful adventure isn’t it. Makes you wonder why more of us aren’t booking in time off work to travel the astral planes and transcend instead of going on trips abroad.

So, HOW do we raise our energetic vibrations and tap into these other magical and miraculous dimensions where we can co-create with universe ?

We understand that everything is energy that is meant to FLOW, therefore nothing is permanent and everything is forever changing. A belief that assists me to identify anything that may be blocking the flow, whether it be a thought, an emotion, a hurt, a fear or a limited belief.

 What we think, how we feel and what we do NOW is what matters most. A belief that helps us to make better choices for ourselves in the moment. Doing things like journal writing helps us to observe our thoughts and express our feelings. Tapping into our right brain and CREATING helps us to stay PRESENT

We become more conscious of our thoughts and BELIEVE that everything IS possible. That what we want to create already exists (Law of attraction)

We cultivate a grateful heart because the vibration of GRATITUDE attracts more positive things into our lives

We live LOVE by allowing our hearts to guide us. We do what we love, be with who we love and surround ourselves with whoever and whatever it is we want more of

We become more ACTIVE, move our bodies and DANCE

We eat less processed crap and eat more RAW foods

We drink more WATER

We make time to MEDITATE and breathe deeply

We walk BARE FOOT on the earth and dip our toes in the ocean

We gaze upon the sky and soak up sun and moon energies

We notice and look for BEAUTY in ALL things

We DE-CLUTTER our work and living spaces

We HUG and be hugged

“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self transformation” (Lao Tzu)

Balance is something we CREATE


Breaking unhealthy attachments will rebuild stronger connections

The truth can be found when we have the courage to follow our heart

Our questions lead us towards the answers

… she breathed deeply and her heart opened up to the love ❤

That was the last paragraph I wrote in my previous blog over a month ago. Since then Ive been sitting with many questions but spending less time in solitudinal contemplation and more time reconnecting with my family. Ive also been too deeply involved in my own thoughts and feelings to be able to find the time to put the experience into the right words. I only managed to gather a pile of scribbled notes, which were scattered here and there as important insights surfaced or when meaningful questions arose

The past month has been eventful on many levels, which is why its been too difficult to sit down and write on one particular content

Why ?

Because I’m taking steps towards making a pretty huge life change, which has set off that wonderful domino effect

But as new opportunities and possibilities started to present themselves I began to feel a resistance and tension in myself. I was experiencing a strong sense of fear and doubt along side my head / heart conflict, which only resolved when I finally decided to ditch the fear talking mind chatter and follow the love calling in my heart

In conversation recently someone asked me …

If you could pass on only one message … WHAT would it be ?

Shortly followed by another question by someone else …

WHAT lessons have you learned ?


Interesting that my head / heart conflict involved a man

both questions were asked by men

some important and insightful conversations have been had with men

last nights irritations and break through were related to men

and the conversation that inspired me to write this was with my Dad

… obviously this is no coincidence

I was on the phone to my Dad, who was poking a little fun about the Goddess Makeover Ive introduced the women of our family to, which led to a very interesting chat. We both agree that only a fraction of our brains are used, but we both differed in opinions on whether our brain or heart was the key to unlocking other possibilities

Dad, like many others believes that our brain is the key …

I believe that are brains are BRILLIANT but that our heart holds the key to unlock the gates of our minds, which has the ability to OPEN us up to possibilities that we cant even imagine yet. This is why healing heart hurts and overcoming fears has been such a huge driving force behind my own intentions for change. Ive learned that we create the life we imagine by staying open, but that our hurting hearts and fearful minds keep us closed

Sharing this with my Dad led us towards a mind blowing conversation …

We spoke about how history has and continues to shape us … how we have seen the time of the matriarchal and patriarchal systems and now strive to find the balance of both, so that new paradigms can be created for the greater good

We spoke about the power players in society … how we are programmed to be the “followers” of royalty, politicians and religion because people power is feared. Those of us challenging the systems are considered to be a threat because our thinking serves to empower the people and bring balance, which serves to change or destroy current systems

We spoke about religion and spirituality … how religious labels separate us, but if we look at the core of every religion we find our connection to LOVE, FAITH and HOPE. That we have been programmed to idealize our religious / spiritual masters and mentors instead of seeing our own true reflection. We do this because we fear shining our light and unlocking our truest potential because we know it will bring forward other challenges

We spoke about truth … how there are only versions of truths based on our individual perceptions and experiences of it, which in itself is a truth to challenge and change all truths

We spoke about evolution based on our past, present and future … how in the past we were led by the power players, in the present we are led by the manipulators and that our future will be led by those who seek balance, connection and harmony

Hey Daddy your so fine, your so fine you BLOW my mind ☺☺☺

I do a lot of sharing about the important women in my life and I believe that sisterhood is something wonderful to be cherished

But, I equally value and cherish the important men in my life. I want to talk more openly about our conflicts and challenges because I believe that’s how we heal on a much deeper level. Considering the conflicts and tensions from the struggle of power within both matriarchal and patriarchal systems, it makes perfect sense why we then experience similar conflicts and tensions between male and females, which influences strongly upon our inner thoughts and feelings and therefore impacts upon our intimate relationships

I believe …

Its time to stop blaming one other because our hearts are hurting

Its time to find our own balance so we can seek balance with another

Its time to take complete responsibility for our own hearts, so that we can love ourselves and each other unconditionally

Its time to take complete responsibility for our own ego driven fears that chatter in our minds, so that we can stay open to other possibilities

 Its time to stop disconnecting  because we fear working through the discomfort

Its time to confront and overcome our darkest fears so we can heal our deepest hurts

Its time to accept the truth of who we are so that we can become all we can be ❤