Living with an open heart


I used to think I was an empath because of my highly sensitive nature. I now know myself better. I’m not an empath … I’m just learning how to function in the world with an open heart ūüíĒ

Empathy is seeing, listening and feeling another … but we cannot truly embody this way of being until we first see, listen and feel our own experiences.

As a child I was in my head far more than I was in my heart. As a teen I was introduced to the kind of change that shakes your world upside down. Literally, by emigrating from the UK to Australia. As a young woman I was thrown out of my mind and into my heart by multiple heart breaks. And now, as a maturing woman I’m learning how to balance my head and heart … alone

When the scales tip and I feel overwhelmed, I feel the most vulnerable. My emotional triggers are more exposed and I become more reactive and less responsive. My primal urges are activated and I can fall back into old habits. My thoughts become scattered and unfocused. My emotions intensify and flow rapidly into each other. It kinda feels like I’m drowning on the inside and like a tap, my heart wants to shut off the feelings because she becomes too uncomfortable in her vulnerability.

But a whisper tells me that I must stay open and FEEL it, however much it may hurt, confuse and unsettle me. I’m learning to listen to those whispers because they seem to know more than I do. I’m learning to trust my inner voice.

But during those times of overwhelming change and increased stress, I find it harder to be around people. I need those around me who understand my messy mind and hurting heart. Those who dont challenge or question my experience. Those who are willing to listen to my irrational thoughts and allow me to ramble. Those who hold space for the flood of emotions, allowing them to flow without restriction. Those who dont fear the darkness of the unknown. Those who let me BE whatever the fuck I am in that moment. Those I trust. Those who celebrate and support my ever changing self.

When my head and heart are unbalanced I become more empathic because my emotional self is on higher alert. The world becomes too peopley and I struggle to stay open. If I fail to listen to myself and respond to my own needs, then one of two things can happen. Either I will shut down and function on auto pilot, becoming numb to myself and others. Or I will stay open and start freaking the fuck out as multiple energies hit me at once. And because I’m a work in progress l struggle to maintain a sense of self in the midst of chaos.

Now I know WHY the spiritual guru seeks out solitude


I seem to be calling TIME OUT and seeking solitude more and more lately.

My reality is in the midst of change and I can feel the dream coming to life

So … WHY am I experiencing so much more tension and conflict ?

In the space of a few days, Ive been confronted with multiple challenges …

I’m packing up house and closing another chapter, which stirs up a variety of emotions as I more consciously move through the process of change. I’m moving back in with my parents to save some serious dollars, which stirs up feelings of going backwards, rather than moving forwards. My daughter expressed feelings of abandonment, which stirs up feelings of guilt. My heart has reconnected with my uncomfortable truth, which stirs up feelings of fear. I was pushed past my limit within my professional role, which stirred up feelings of frustration. And to top it off my sexual libido has been stirred to its peak ….. and I’m abstaining

Arghhhh !!!!

The more I feel pulled back into previous mindsets, the more my changing reality is challenged. Although at times it may feel like I’m being pushed back into a corner, the Universe is actually blessing me with the experiences I need to become more focused about my direction.

Why do I believe this ?

Because I believe the Universe is always talking to us … we just need to pay more attention to what is being said

After pushing myself way past my limits, I decided to wave the white flag and call for a much needed TIME OUT so I can process and release all the crap and shit. I was feeling a little guilty about calling in sick and thinking about the uncomfortable stings of misinformed judgements, that I was already feeling by those who dont understand my journey.

Then I opened up my email and found this sitting in my inbox


Another reminder from Universe that I am moving in the right direction

Another reminder from Universe that I am following the right path

Another reminder from Universe that I am making the right choices

Mindful Interaction ‚̧


Allow stress to serve its purpose


I wont bore you with the details, nor the variables of the stressful situation because its neither the time nor the place. However, I do feel the need to talk about the process.

Like you, I try my best to flow in those moments of stress. Sometimes I do it well, other times I could do it better. While feeling under pressure and overwhelmed with responsibility, we either do what needs to be done or we fall apart. How we react will depend upon what we think and how we feel about stressful situations. And it will also depend on what else we are juggling in our lives.

Some people thrive on challenges, while others are barely surviving in their comfort zones.

What is the purpose of stress ?

I believe such experiences are a challenge to test how positive, productive and loving we can be during physical and emotional pressure.

I believe such experiences either challenge or reinforce our choices and motivate our forward action.

I’m learning how to make better choices for myself, so that less stress is experienced because lets face it, its not good for us or the people around us.

But sometimes we find ourselves thrown into a situation where we haven’t been given much choice. So we either sink or swim. We either DO or die. We either stay or GO. We either fight or flow with it.

We either moan about how its impacted on our own life or we seek the message and the lesson that this experience brings.

The choice is still ours to make

During the stressful situation we usually dont have much time to reflect over what we are thinking or how we are feeling. We are generally focused on trying to maintain a positive attitude, getting the job done and responding to the needs of others. But the aftermath of a challenging or stressful experience is another experience in itself.

If we are consciously aware of ourselves then our mind will process the thoughts and our body will express itself with all those yummy “feelings”

We may feel disappointed, annoyed, frustrated or angry with those who we “believe” have placed us in this situation. Or we may feel disappointed, annoyed, frustrated or angry with ourselves for putting ourselves there in the first place.

Whatever we feel is valid … allow the emotion to flow without attaching to it

Whatever we think is valid … allow the thoughts to flow without attaching to it

This process is important, which is why debriefing is highly recommended. Depending on how stressful the situation has been, we will either offload to our friends and/or family, or seek out professional support.

When we dont observe our thoughts and express our feelings, then our not so great habits can kick in. We smoke more cigs, we drink more booze, we eat more junk, we complain more, we suppress more. Habits that we “think” soothe and comfort us, but in truth they are destroying us.

I believe that our stressful experiences are valuable opportunities of learning. We not only learn a lot about ourselves and others during such times, we can also reflect over how we can make better choices for ourselves and others.

I feel like staying in my jimmy jams, scoffing junk food and guzzling down some whiskey. I could quite easily replay the situation over and and over in my mind and continue to feel frustrated about something I have no power to change. But instead, I said YES to my sisters offer of an afternoon walk.

Mindful interaction ‚̧

Dare to manifest your dreams


Do YOU dare to manifest your dream ?

Here are some great questions that will help you to discover exactly what and why you want to manifest …

Are you clear about what it is you want to manifest ?
What do you truly desire ?
Does thinking about it excite you ?
Would this desire hurt anyone ?
How would it positively impact on your life and the life of others ?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to manifest this dream into reality ?

Reflect over y0ur answers because what we think and how we feel influences our energetic vibration, which impacts on what we will ultimately attract into our lives. So, the more gratitude, joy and excitement we feel, the more Universe will respond to that vibration and our desires and dreams will begin to manifest much quicker.

But successful manifesting demands us to be in the heart space of FEELING ‚̧

Diving deeper into our thoughts and feelings helps us to clear out anything that may be blocking the flow of energy between us and Universe. Our blockages are any negative thought patterns, unexpressed emotions and/or limiting beliefs that prevent the natural flow of energy. These are our biggest obstacles that prevent us from successfully manifesting our desires, achieving our dreams, living a life of abundance and creating the life we imagine.

We also need to be clear about the feeling we want to experience.

For example …

A desire to manifest more money is generally related to the want to experience more freedom. A desire for a soul mate is generally related to the want to experience more love. A desire to manifest a dream job is generally related to the want to experience more creativity and inspiration. Experiencing more freedom, love, creativity and inspiration in our lives not only brings more joy to our own lives, it also empowers us to inspire others to do the same.

When we want to feed back good energy into our world, then our intentions are to serve the greater good. Universe likes this ALOT and will conspire to make your wildest dreams come true. However, we must be prepared to receive some unexpected twists and turns because sometimes we need to experience something important before we are able to fully receive our desire. So it may feel like we are going off track and going in the opposite direction to what we actually want to manifest.

Trusting this is challenging and we can start to loose heart, but¬†we are being guided towards an experience that’s¬†creating space and preparing us to receive what we asked for. At¬†times it may feel like the Universe is testing us …¬†it is

When we choose to manifest our desires, our path can often change direction, which impacts on our own life and the lives of others. Our choices may cause indirect harm if we are no longer satisfying the needs of someone else.

For example …

If we decide that we want to manifest our dream job, then we might need to further our education. Maybe our classes occur at the same time as our son goes to soccer practice, that we have always attended. So we disappoint our son by not being there to support him.

If we decide we want to manifest a more satisfying relationship, then we might need to let go of the relationship we are currently in. So we hurt our partner when we tell them that the relationship is over.

But we need to ask ourselves …

Do we feel responsible for the other persons experience, and if so … WHY ?

Each of us are here to follow our own path, learning and growing from our own experiences on our journey. If we feel responsible for someone elses life, are we truly following our own path or are we living out someone elses life, based on the expectations that others have of us ?

We can often convince ourselves that our needs come secondary to our family.

Our dreams and desires put aside until our son graduates high school, until our daughter successfully achieves her goals, until our children leave home, until our husband is in a better paying job, until we loose all of our excess weight, until we have this, until we find that, until we feel ready.

What the fuck are we waiting for ?

“Never allow waiting to become a habit.¬† Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening NOW”

The bigger our dream, the deeper our desire will be and the more effort¬†will be¬†required to successfully manifest it …

So, if¬†YOU are willing to commit to creating the reality you imagine, then you are ready to start manifesting. If you’re keen to explore this further then click on the link below and enjoy creating your own kinda magic with the support and guidance of Sarah Prout ‚̧

And feel free to follow my progress as I manifest my own desires into reality

Stories shape our reality and create our future


Stories are told by a story teller … but where do the stories come from ?

Our experiences, imaginations and insights are inspired by our senses: what we see, what we hear, what we touch, what we smell, what we taste, what we feel and what we intuitively know.

Sometimes information begins to surface from deep within our consciousness

Are they things that we’ve always known or is it new information coming in ?

Hmmmmmmm she ponders with a smile ‚ėļ

I think its fair to say that a story is based on an individual experience

Therefore … we are ALL story tellers

EVERY story that we have ever been told is based on someone elses perspective about an experience. Whether it be a historical document, a religious text, a scientific theory or a fairy tale.

Therefore, is it realistic to believe that someone elses truth is ours ?

” There is your truth and there is my truth. As for the universal truth, it doesn’t exist” (A. Tripathi)

I challenge you to STOP wasting time and energy arguing about why your truth is better than mine. I challenge you to focus on standing more comfortably in your own truth. I challenge you to fully embrace the truth of others and learn from their experience.

Imagine …

How many less wars would happen ?

How many less lives would be lost ?

How many less arguments would be started ?

How many less hearts would need to be broken open ?

I believe there is only a perception of truth: mine, yours and theirs. I believe this because my own truth is forever changing. But that’s the wonderful thing about stories. Each chapter is filled with a wonderful variety of different experiences.

Our life experience IS our story

Stories have been told since time immortal. They are told to entertain, educate, explain, inspire, intrigue, warn, inform and persuade.

The story teller is communicating an experience and sharing a message

A GREAT story teller connects with our heart and engages with our minds

A GREAT story has several important elements

The main character is seen as the “hero” who seeks to resolve an important tension or conflict. The moral of the story being how they and WE become “better” for navigating through it

So, I pose the questions …

Are you the hero of your own story ?

What tensions and conflicts are you navigating through ?

How are your experiences shaping your reality and creating your future ?

What stories do you believe ?

What stories are you sharing ?

Mindful interaction ‚̧


Changing habits isn’t always hard to do


I’ll be completely honest with you, I didn’t really want to QUIT coffee and I’m not even trying to. It’s kinda gone away on its own accord, without having had¬†any nasty withdrawals. The odd time I do have a cup of coffee, I experience some pretty severe heart palpitations that resemble an anxiety attack, so I’m obviously NOT enjoying it.

For months now, I’ve been opting for a morning cup of tea instead. And I’m never having coffee during the day or while on night duty these days.

As I poured myself this mornings cup of tea, I reflected over my changing habits and thought I’d share these thoughts with you. Because I’m experiencing some shifts within myself that’s starting to have a positive impact unconsciously.

But first lets talk about coffee …¬†

There’s plenty of research out there that informs us about both the positive and negative effects of caffeine.

According to research caffeine can cause insomnia, nervousness, restlessness and stomach upsets. Excessive amounts causing headaches, anxiety, agitation, irregular heartbeat and high blood pressure. Therefore, we increase our experiences of stress and tension and our risk of dis-ease and heart attack

That’s a whole lot of negatives isn’t it. Not to worry there are some positive effects too. It’s said to reduce the risk of Parkinson disease and Dementia. It also increases concentration and memory.


Well, the benefits are hardly surprising, considering the stimulating effects that caffeine has on our mind and body. But are they really beneficial for our health and well-being if we suffer the negative short and long term effects ?

Like many, I abused coffee because I relied upon it to uplift me. I “thought” it was the quickest and easiest way to switch my brain on and BE pro-active.

However, caffeine is an addictive drug so we soon become dependent on it.¬†So it’s kinda a big deal that it’s just going away all on its own, without any effort.

Why ?
How ?

Most likely because I’m consciously focusing on any unhealthy habits I have. I’m becoming more aware of myself: beliefs, thoughts, emotions, energy, behavioural patterns etc. I’m actively participating in the opening and healing process. My intention is to create better health and well being and I’m focused on positive change and growth.

So, it hasn’t really just going away all on its own is it. I’m actually intently working on making better choices and creating positive change in my life. Changes that don’t happen overnight, but as an ongoing process its starting to have a positive impact on my mind and body.

The reason I’m sharing these thoughts with you, isn’t to brag about my successes. Its to give you something to reflect over, which will hopefully have a positive impact on your choices.

My coffee habit isn’t the only thing leaving my life with a little more ease and a little less tension. This is something that excites me. Because it reflects a shift in my consciousness. A¬†breakthrough in my mind ūüí°

What am I doing differently ?

I’m self caring more
I’m meditating more
I’m opening up to my truth more
I’m connecting to myself more

Therefore, it seems that my body is naturally becoming more reactive and less tolerant to artificial stimulants.

Although I still have plenty of bad habits to change, its kinda nice to know that some changes are starting to happen a little more naturally ‚ėļ

I strongly believe that we ALL have the ability to create the life we imagine. A life filled with health, wealth and happiness. It all begins with a CHOICE to start making the necessary changes. Then we continue each day, striving to create better choices. All the while being gentle with ourselves when we fuck up, which we will because we’re ALL a work in progress

Mindful interaction ‚̧

The Importance of SELF care


Part of the reason why I’m on a temporary time out from my nursing duties. The other being a need to re-balance my emotions ūüėú

But it both surprises and concerns me how many women don’t support self care

It surprises me how many visible eye rolls I receive

It concerns me that I sense silent judgements

From those who believe they themselves aren’t able to take a time out, if and when they need to because they have far too many responsibilities to maintain. From those who believe I’m being a little too precious or irresponsible for taking a time out whenever I feel physically unwell or emotionally unbalanced

 Hmmmmm she ponders

WHY are we judging instead of supporting each other to better self care ?

Those of you who know me best, know how I feel about bringing our best selves to our roles and relationships, especially within our caring and nursing roles

I believe this is important because how we feel impacts upon the quality of love and care we are able to give others ‚̧

As night nurses, we often don’t bring our best selves on shift because of sleep challenges. So even a minor physical sickness or emotional challenge can often be exaggerated when we aren’t well rested

I’m a woman who is well aware of her own limits but I often push past them as I strive for growth. So, I made a choice to push my limits when I came on a night shift not feeling 100% within myself. But it was a choice made out of a sense of obligation and duty. A choice I later regretted because it emptied my already low tank. A choice which then resulted in me snapping during a conflict of interest with my daughter the next day because I became off balance

I pose the question …

HOW can we be expected to respond effectively to challenges and conflicts when we aren’t effectively taking care of ourselves ?

WTF ? ? ?

I know the importance of this stuff, yet I still sometimes make choices based on what others expect of me

Hmmmm she ponders

YES, we are all free to make our own choices and ultimately we are also then responsible for the consequences of those choices. But when it comes to self care we are often influenced by our considerations for other people, especially those who matter most to us

So, if ever you find yourself conflicted between choosing self care or full filling the needs of someone else, I pose these following questions to you …

Am I choosing to prioritize myself or someone else ?

Why am I choosing to prioritize the needs of someone else before my own ?

How does this choice impact on my own experience ?

How does this choice impact on the other persons experience ?

Who am I ultimately responsible for ?

Am I empowering or dis-empowering myself ?

Am I empowering or dis-empowering the other person ?

There are many barriers that prevent us from being able to effectively self care. Questioning our own choices is the first step in identifying those barriers

WHY do I choose self care ?

I choose SELF care because I believe I’m a better ME when I think and feel better

I believe when I’m a better ME that I’m also a better mother, a better nurse, a better sister, a better daughter, a better friend and ultimately a better WOMAN

Lets be a little more mindful in our interactions

I lovingly challenge those of you who either openly or silently judge others for choosing self care

I challenge you to challenge your own beliefs and attitudes

I invite you to choose self care because it isn’t only beneficial for your own health and well being, it also benefits those who matter most to you because you begin to model how to better care, love and nurture yourself and others ‚̧

Breaking through the barriers


Its been a balancing act as I juggle life now, while healing from the past and planning for the future

Some major changes occurring both within and around me

Yesterday I reached my emotional limit and snapped under the pressure

Messy thoughts ran rampant and unsupervised through my mind. Raw emotions were unleashed during a state of panic. I was that whizzing needle on the compass, frantically trying to find its direction because my emotional balance was off center

I wasn’t coping and had an emotional breakdown

A temporary state of WTF ? ? ?

Although I DO trust and embrace this process, while in the midst of it we are unbalanced. So its far from being a comfortable experience

I reminded myself … “its just another storm”

But how I steer my ship during those storms is changing

All those defense mechanisms and coping styles have been brought to light. So they no longer hold the same power and control over my experiences

Old habits may die hard … but they DO die

No longer afraid of feeling the hurt of a broken heart … I open it willingly

No longer afraid of my emotions … I release them freely

No longer afraid of my darkness … I welcome it lovingly

Sometimes I have a firm grip on the wheel and steer right on through the lashing rain, gusty wind and unforgiving ocean. Other times I drop anchor and brave it out. Yesterday I fired a flare and my sisters paddled on out in their row boats

We talked about those changes within and around me and I began to feel a little more confident about the conflict, the challenge and the change

At home I had a few heart to heart conversations with myself and the rains began to ease, the wind dropped, the clouds parted and the ocean calmed

So … I slept

This morning I woke with a deeper understanding about the storm


Another mask dropped, another wall removed, another layer of myself discovered

“Breakthroughs happen when limiting thoughts and behaviours are challenged” (Fabienne Fredrickson)

So, after an intense exploration of my inner Aphrodite, sacral chakra energy, I’m now ready to wrap up the experience and move onto the solar plexus

The journey back to ourselves


As are hearts break open to more love

Our minds expand to other perceptions and possibilities

We become more aware of ourselves

Mind, body and spirit

Our consciousness begins to stir from a deep sleep

We awaken …

There’s no more avoiding ourselves

Every experience becomes an opportunity …

To open our hearts and to expand our minds

To experiment and to explore

To learn and to grow

Instead of our messy, complicated minds guiding the way

We begin to fall more easily into our heart space of feeling

Trusting that the emotional release will bring us closer to our own truth

Conversations between our mind and body begin to lead us in other directions

Our connection to self deepens

We heal …

Life is a spiral path back to ourselves

Mindful Masturbation


WELCOME to the first blog on

Mindful Masturbation

Yes, I’m the kinda woman who opens up all those delicious conversations at a dinner party. The one who is keen, willing and more than able to dive on into the yummy goodness, because she knows how much it will enrich our lives.

Its no secret that I enjoy sex, but multiple disappointments and frustrations over the years have made me STOP and reflect upon the quality of relationship I have with myself, and how its been impacting upon my love and sex life.

It was time to be brutally honest with myself …

… and it stung !!!

I realized, that as a sexually liberated woman, my sex life kinda sucked. Although Ive had many wild and wonderful experiences, very few men have taken the time to stroke my sensual simulators and TURN my buttons ON. Therefore, although Ive experienced plenty of pleasure, Ive had very few mind blowing orgasms with my lovers.

Truth is, Ive faked orgasm to please my partners. Ive sacrificed my orgasms to protect the ego of men. And it took multiple heart hurts to finally understand how, as a liberated woman, I was STILL compromising my needs. Heck, if someone like myself is doing this unconsciously, imagine how many other women are faking their own god damn lives.

FUCK !!!

So, for the most part of this year Ive been abstaining from sex. Choosing to focus more intensely on the relationship I have with myself.

“Celibacy is the abstinence of sex, which is a form of self denial and self restrained usually for religious purposes”. So I’m definitely NOT celibate because I still masturbate. Orgasm is too damn delicious, to deny myself of that sublime pleasure.

However, my masturbation practice is changing with me.

¬†Although Ive been abstaining from sex, I can honestly say that I’ve been having the most pleasurable and at times even passionate sex Ive ever had in my life …

ALONE …¬† without a partner




Because the energy around the act of sexual pleasure is changing. It’s becoming more than a need to relieve and release tension. Its becoming more than a need for intimacy and touch from another. Its becoming more than an exchange of love between lovers.

Its becoming a spiritual experience …

and its ALL about ME !!!

Having dived into the depths of my mind, striving to better understand my thoughts. Having dived into the depths of my heart, striving to better understand my emotions. I now dive into the depths of my soul, striving to better understand the flow of my energy.

And the more mindful I become of myself, the more intensely I’m experiencing the energy between myself, Nature and Universe, which is having a HUGE impact upon all aspects of my life, including my masturbation practice. And I feel its something important to share with you because after all, aren’t we ALL seeking more pleasure and LOVE ?

So, I ask YOU …

How do YOU feel about self pleasure ?

What is your motivation for masturbation ?

What is your motivation for relationship with another ?

Lets be clear …

There are 2 motivators involved in our decision to either be in a relationship with someone and our choice for celibacy and/or abstinence


When we choose from a place of FEAR, then our hearts are closed. We are disconnected from ourselves and the Source of Creation. We either seek completion from another to feel a sense of balance and fulfillment (or) we allow the hurt of a heart break to hold us back from experiencing intimate love and sexual pleasure with self and another.

When we choose from a place of LOVE, then our hearts are open. We are connected to ourselves and the Source of Creation. Heart breaks are opening us up to experience more love because we are learning and growing from them. We allow ourselves to experience intimate love and sexual pleasure, regardless of our relationship status because we believe that we are worthy of it.

So many of my shitful experiences have been rich in lessons of SELF love

But I didn’t choose abstinence because I wanted to deny myself of love and pleasure, on the contrary. As a single woman I decided to temporarily abstain from men, dating and sex because I believe that I am worthy of experiencing the kind of intimate relationship I imagine. So, it was time to dive in deep, figure out the patterns, expose the wounds and determine why the fuck it wasn’t happening ?

My decision was based heavily in honor, value, respect and love for MYSELF¬† ‚̧

Has it been easy ?


I’m a single woman, with an open heart, at her sexual peak with a raging libido. So, ofcourse I’d rather be sharing the experience with someone.

The irony ūüėä hahahaha

Hence why and how the art of mindful masturbation came about.

Ive already shared my thoughts, feelings, history and my first healing experience of masturbation. But if you haven’t already read it, then CLICK on the link if it interests you.

As a self confessed masturbator, I have no shame in admitting I enjoy it. My sexuality is a large part of who I am, it always has been. However, my understanding and my experience of this part of myself is changing with me. And the more shame and guilt I ditch, the more open and willing I am to talk about it, which makes some people very uncomfortable.

But WHY ?

Because for many people, sexuality is a private experience, to be shared only between partners. I was raised in this way too, but its something I continue to challenge. After all, sex is a basic human need and pleasure is our God given right to embrace and enjoy.

So why shouldn’t we openly discuss it ?

Why aren’t we OPEN to experiencing more love and pleasure ?

From experience, I believe that our thoughts and feelings around love, sex and masturbation, can cause a whole range of inner conflicts and tensions, that can then causes problems within our intimate relationships. Granted, sex isn’t necessarily everyone’s priority in a relationship, but if sex isn’t an active part of a relationship, then intimacy and pleasure could be an issue. Because emotional intimacy and physical pleasure influence each other. So if those needs aren’t being actively discussed, then its no surprise that problems will eventually arise within the relationship.

For example, unhappy married women can become more emotionally detached and unhappy married men can become more sexually frustrated. Or vice versa. One of which will eventually lead to either a relationship break down or infidelity.

Is THIS the kind of relationship with self and others we want to experience ?

Its a no brainer really ūü§Ē

Having personally experienced intimacy issues within my own relationships. Having had many conversations over the years with unhappy men and women, both in relationships and single. Having endured my own sexual frustrations. Having had a long and complicated history with a married man. I feel its important to share my own experiences with you, because it hopefully initiates conversations with yourself and/or your partner.

So, WTF am I talking about masturbation ?

Because whether we are single or in a relationship, masturbation is something most of us do (even if too embarrassed to admit it). Its considered to be good for our over all health and well being and it can also improve the quality of our relationships.

So I ask …

WHY aren’t we talking more openly about it ?

Truth is, masturbation has become a very important part of my healing process. Oh yes, sing it to me Barry, in your best soulful sexy voice … “Sexual healing”

… but HOW and WHY ?

As I actively work through exploring my chakra energy, I’m becoming more aware of how my own energy flows. My orgasms are helping me to identify where I’m experiencing any energy blockages, which is guiding me towards learning more about Tantra.

My first tantric experience was last year with my French lover, which then led to my first passionate masturbation experience, alone, during my recent explorations of Lilith energy. It was primal and it was intense, which took me by complete surprise. Something I’m keen to share with you all another time, so watch this space, if ya dare ūüėč hahahahaha

Masturbation has always been an enjoyable experience (as it should be), but as it becomes more intense and purposeful, it also becomes more sensual and pleasurable. This excites me because the more I improve the intimate relationship with myself, the more I hope to improve the quality of my future intimate relationship.

Oh YES, I’m a woman who wants to experience the passion, the fireworks and the magic .

But as a single woman with a healthy libido, I’ve often felt challenged and conflicted. Because in the past my desire for intimacy has often lead me towards unsatisfying sex, which has left me feeling used, abused and empty. My lack of self love then guiding me towards men who were unable to love me in the way I deserved, so I was left feeling even more used, abused and empty. A viscous cycle that kept on repeating itself, breaking my heart open over and over again. Leaving me yearning for the love of another instead of loving myself ūüíĒ

Yup, I’m a slow learner, but although it was a very unhealthy cycle of behaviour, that’s been self destructive. Sometimes we need to destroy the person we once were, so we can become someone new.

Like most, my journey towards learning how to self love hasn’t been an easy one. But the experiences Ive had have been invaluable to my understanding of love, which I am forever grateful for.

Ive always refused to settle for less than extraordinary when it comes to love. So, why the fuck am I talking about masturbation if I want to attract a soulful partnership ?

Because I strongly believe that mindful masturbation has the ability to reduce societies hunger for pornographic pleasure, and increase the possibility of joining together with our partners in sacred union.

YES, I believe that the magic of mindful masturbation can lead to something extraordinary. And I am VERY keen to explore it further.


Mindful interaction ‚̧

Can we change our grieving process ?


I read this and reflected upon my own experiences of loss and thought to myself

The purpose of a loss IS to loose part of ourselves because the experience is supposed to CHANGE us

The purpose of a loss IS to loose our sense of security, trust and hope for the future because the experience is supposed to CHANGE our future ?

I believe …

That we cannot be OPEN to love and not also be OPEN to the experience of loss because they are both part of the same spectrum

Yet our experiences of both love and loss can cause us so many problems

So … WHY do we tell ourselves that love and loss is either good or bad ?

Its usually our past experiences that will influence how we think about it

Experience telling us to either expect a positive or a negative experience

But …

Experience also tells us that love isn’t always a good experience

Like falling in love with someone who betrays our hearts or experiencing emotional/physical unwellness as we grieve the loss of a loved one

Experience also tells us that loss isn’t always a bad experience

Like dumping the prick who betrayed us or experiencing emotional/physical wellness when we end a toxic relationship

Isn’t it then fair to say that its OUR thoughts and feelings about the experience of love and loss that makes all the difference to HOW we experience it ?

But …

WHAT IF … we made a conscious choice to CHANGE how we think about loss ?

WHAT IF … the more we learn how to accept and embrace our own shadow, the more we learn to understand and appreciate the darkness in others ?

WHAT IF … the more we understand that energy never dies, the more we accept that death isn’t really the end, only a new beginning ?

WHAT IF … we believe that love and loss was neither a positive nor a negative experience ?

WHAT IF …we believe that both experiences of love and loss was just an experience that brings us opportunities to learn and grow ?

Neither good nor bad ‚ėļ

WHAT IF … we accepted BOTH love and loss to flow more freely without attaching any negative or positive thoughts to the experience ?

Would we flow with whatever comes with a little more ease ?

Would we be more willing to OPEN our hearts if we no longer feared the hurt ?

Would we be more OPEN to feel the hurt if we no longer feared the pain ?

Would we learn to appreciate how the experience of loss changes and opens us ?

Is it possible that this change in our thinking could improve our grieving experience ?

Is it possible that this change in our thinking could reduce our experiences of mental health issues and substance abuse ?

Is it possible that this change in our thinking could improve our health and happiness ?

I believe so ‚̧