I think its fair to say that we ALL struggle with taking complete responsibility at times. Even those who live a mindful well balanced life require the necessary time and space to be able to respond, instead of react to challenges and conflicts in life. Why do you think the Dali Lama allocates so much of his time to his spiritual practice … to make sure he’s got a grip and has his shit together (wink)
Taking complete responsibility for our own lives IS a habit well worth cultivating … and it will determine whether we have a good life or an AMAZING life !!!
For TOO many years I allowed the opinions of others to influence my experiences because I didn’t completely trust nor believe in myself … so I sought support and followed advice instead of holding myself in the space of discomfort and listening to my own sense of knowing … it then made perfect sense why I was unable to take complete responsibility for my own experiences … SO WHAT CHANGED ? ? ?
MY THINKING !!! … I started to challenge my thoughts and question my beliefs
Before the deconstruction process my mind resembled a fully functional and organized computer system, which helped to make sense of my world. My mind automatically responded to stimulus because of past experiences and understandings, so most of the time I didn’t even need to consciously think … TOO EASY !!!
BUT … the more new experiences I confronted and the more curiosities I had, the more my mind malfunctioned … I would experience OVER THINKING without actually reaching any conclusions or the entire system would SHUT DOWN … I was desperately trying to make sense of my world because what I thought and believed to be true, suddenly did not match my new sense of reality … and so the deconstruction process of my mind began … and it looked something like this …
But for those of us who are technologically challenged … then it probably looked more like that !!!
Oh yes !!! … what a mighty fine mess I found myself in (wink) … I had boxes upon boxes of crap to rummage through … I came across memories on top of old dusty shelves … I stumbled over files and folders filled with feelings … I sorted through experiences from times gone by … I was overwhelmed by STUFF and thought to myself WTF now ? ? ?
WELL … I then proceeded to organize my shit … and it was BRUTAL !!!
I realized how much I was hanging onto and I learned that many of my thoughts and beliefs were out dated … so my mind went through a spring cleaning … what I love most about our experiences, is how our internal processes often manifest themselves externally … because the more my mind started to declutter, so did my living space
SO … if you struggle with a cluttered mind and are resistant to challenge your thinking or are reluctant to start the deconstruction process … then why not start by sorting through the accumulated crap around the house ? ? ? … I am learning that the more we take personal responsibility for ALL of our experiences … YES, even the negative and crappy moments inflicted by the behavior of others … then ironically the more control we have over our own lives …
Be CONSTRUCTIVE in your thinking … instead of allowing your thoughts to DESTROY you !!!