She remembered who she was and the game changed

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We can’t control everything and the hair on my head often reminds me of that. I’m fighting a loosing battle with my straightners. Unable to tame the frizz because of the Queensland humidity. I see it as a reminder, that my inner Wild Woman doesn’t want to be tamed. So, I’ve been doing a little less grooming.

Embracing my inner Troll Goddess

I wake up and do very little with my hair these days, and I actually love the wildness of my unruly mop. Salty ocean air loves it too, transforming my frizz into defined curly locks, that matter together. Giving me a kinda surfy, hippy bo-ho look that I love so much.

It’s been 10 days since I shaved the hair from my legs and underarms. At first it was to stop myself from feeling sexy, so I wouldn’t flirt with the idea of casual sex. I know myself well and don’t want to weaken under the heat of the sun. I neither want to fall for the false promises of pleasure, nor the hope for romance this Spring. I’m feeling somewhat disheartened when it comes to love. I need to refind my hope in men and my faith in relationship.

So, I figured in a moment of weakeness, then my hairy legs would become my salvation. Men wouldn’t be aroused by my furry leg warmers, and sex and love would both remain just a fantasy in my own head and heart.

But it’s expanded beyond that. The hairier I become, the more empowered I feel. I suppose it’s reflects my readiness to embrace the woman I am in her entirity, without seeking validation or approval from others?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been confronting my shadow that surfaced. The parts of myself that needed to be seen, that were difficult to see. My faults, flaws, failings and fuck ups.

In truth, I’m both a sinner and a saint, neither perfect, nor evil. Just a beautiful complex contradiction and an extraordinary BEing of the human kind. A woman of love and light, who dances in the dark of shadow lands. A woman with faults and flaws, who has fucked up and failed, and she is all the more beautiful because of them. But I haven’t always seen or appreciated my own worth or value.

Maybe that’s what’s changing?

I’ve been contemplating getting highlights instead of recolouring my hair. Keen to embrace the natural beauty of my curls, fading colour and the sparkles of silver that’s becoming more and more plentiful upon my crown.

The more time I spend in the sun, the more I notice the appearance of natural copper and bronze highlights upon my crown. Maybe it’s Nature’s way of letting me know I’m far more precious than I realize? Perhaps we don’t need a lavishly expensive jewelled crown to be a Queen? Maybe the treasure and power is flowing from my very own crown chakra?

After the dark night of my soul during New Moon, I’m ready to embrace the new energy of Full Moon. And this Spring I thank Universe for the blessings I have and am yet to receive.

Blessed BE ❤

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