Love the one you’re with

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Yes ❤ … but understand that this means loving the one you’re with !!!

I’m gonna share some thoughts and a concern of mine. So brace yourself if you are one of my critics or judgers 😊

YES, Im far from perfect and YES, Ive made some bad choices in my life when it comes to love. I acknowledge that and believe Im learning and growing in love because of those choices. But it really rattles my chain when those choosing to stay in unsatisfying and loveless relationships either play victim or blame the 3rd party, instead of claiming personal responsibility for their own choices. Choosing to carry on living the lie instead of facing up to the uncomfortable truths

Just because you are “happily married” or “blissfully celibate”, doesnt mean that this is none of your concern either. Not everyone is blessed in love or choose to deny themselves of sex and unfortunately circumstances change. So you may also find yourself or someone you love in an unforeseen conflicting situation, which is why Im choosing to open this discussion

Its no secret that I fell in love with a married man, so perhaps Im a little biased. But my story, like many others is not the story most of you have constructed in your own minds. Im just a woman who fell in love and trusted the man who fell in love with me to do the right thing, but he couldn’t for a multitude of reasons

Having found myself in yet another conflicting situation with Frenchy. I’ve been reflecting ALOT over my own part in the equation to better understand my own choices, and trying my hardest to understand his choices too

But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again. “I love you … but its not as simple as that” or “I want you … but its just TOO complicated” or “I thought you were more open minded than that ” … which ofcourse is all complete and utter BULLSHIT !!!

The thing is Im no stranger to the complications of love because I ended an 11 year marriage that effected everyone in my family. I’ve walked away from several unhealthy relationships and Ive chosen to be single. Choices that have all brought a multitude of challenging consequences, but I regret none of them because the simple part is … I choose to live MY truth, however messy it gets because Im not afraid to follow my heart

But Im a little confused as to why men and woman stay in these kind of unhealthy relationships, but think its then OK to seek out another person to fullfill their intimacy needs or accepting your partner doing so ? Im a little confused as to how they then get upset when tensions and conflict arise ? Is it really because they want the best of both worlds ? Or is it because they are too afraid to step out of the comforts of familiarity and into the space of uncertainty ? Are they motivated by love or fear ?

I’m a little fed up with this kind of bullshit to be honest and believe me there’s alot more of it going on than you realize. As a single woman Ive been hit on by countless men in marriages and relationship. Men in “complicated” situations seeking sex, love or emotional intimacy and some of those men playing the part of being in so called “happy marriages”. Ive counselled more than dated whenever Ive been on the online dating scene, which has been a great learning experience but it concerns me

Why are there so many people living in unfullfilled relationships ? Why are there so many men and women looking for sex, love and intimacy ?

I believe its because we are ALL on the same journey back to ourselves. I’ve had conversations with players and I too have played. The game is all about sex and power but the underlying truth is that we ALL seek LOVE ❤

But let me put it simply, just incase you still believe the whole complication bullshit … IF you have fallen out of love. IF you are miserable. IF you live an unfullfilled life. IF you dont want to fix the problems in your relationship. IF you no longer want to share love with the one you are with … then its not OK to bring another person into the equation. IF you are looking for another person then its time to leave the one you’re with

Its a simple choice that YES may bring challenges but it will also lead you towards living the life your heart wants, which is to BE living a life of LOVE, regardless of your relationship status

In the process of living MY truth I’m teaching my kids that its not OK to live in an unhappy relationship. Im teaching my kids that its OK to want more from life. Im teaching my kids that THEY matter. Im teaching my kids that its not OK to compromise yourself in love. Im teaching my kids that being in love with themselves is much more important ❤

So, instead of casting judgments on other peoples choices. Instead of partaking in idle gossip. How about we ALL stand in our truths and extend more love and understanding to one another. How about we drop the bullshit and encourage one another to live and love with more integrity and LOVE the one who will always and forever be with you ….

YOU 😊

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