I shared a blog about staying present in the moment, and in reflection I over intellectualized the discomfort by focusing on the process, but discomfort is NOT a problem to be solved, it’s an experience to be felt, so I’m going to share my thoughts and feelings about staying present in the moment with discomfort.

Although there’s a simple answer to the question …

We don’t want to stay present with discomfort because it’s uncomfortable

Becoming comfortable with discomfort is a complex process …

My discomfort usually involves an interaction with someone else, and although I’m open to share my experiences, I understand why most people are not. Vulnerability drops the defences to expose our true self (good, bad, ugly), and that also leaves us open to judgement, rejection and manipulation.

I struggle with those reactions myself, but my struggles with vulnerability keeps teaching me how to feel my BIG emotions more deeply, so I can learn how to regulate, build resilience, and actively grow from my challenges. Teaching me how to maintain healthier boundaries, and protect my energy, so I can say NO more confidently when something no longer fits (or) aligns with my truth.

New experiences are catalysts for our personal growth

Sharing my struggles more openly is how I experience genuine in-to-me-see because it invites others to share more openly too, but not everyone is ready for that kind of honesty. Exposing my flaws, faults, failures and fuck ups without projecting the blame onto another, is how I become more accepting of my SELF, so I can realize my own worth, and feel more compassion for the struggle

… but the struggle is real, and it still challenges me.

Lots of things make me uncomfortable, but not everything triggers my defences.

My recent challenges (family dynamics, personal triggers, work responsibilities) have triggered those BIG e-motions (fear, shame and guilt), and because they operate in the deeper parts of my psyche, they create the BIGGEST reaction within me, and that’s what I want to reflect upon with a little more honesty.

GUILT – is often triggered because more open and honest conversations bring uncomfortable truths to our attention, but something is shifting because I no longer feel an intense need to fix my mistakes (or) punish myself to restore balance, because we ALL make mistakes when we are learning and growing.

SHAME – often triggers a deep fear of being unlovable, unworthy, and rejected, but by releasing myself from the guilt of what I (or others) believed I did wrong, changes the inner dialogue. Being open to learn from my experiences makes me more curious, and less judgemental. Increasing my capacity for love, and compassion for SELF and others who are struggling. The more I realize my intrinsic value without needing external validation, the more worthy I feel.

FEAR – triggers many defences for different reasons, and the stories vary, but recently someone reached out to reconnect, and although they are not a bad person, they haven’t been good for me. That’s why I sensed a threat to my mental health, my emotional well-being.

Trauma isn’t defined by an event itself …

… but by the lasting internal impact it has on our mind and body.

Even when we’ve cultivated a growth mindset, and have healed from our most challenging experiences of loss, it doesn’t stop the triggers, but it does influence how we will react and/or respond. When my survival fight/flight/freeze response triggers an automatic reaction in my nervous system, I notice the hypervigilance, flashbacks, and cognitive distortions.

We break this cycle (trauma loop) by rewiring the neural pathway.

I’ve been consciously doing this by learning how to feel safe and secure within the present moment, by being conscious of my resistance to it, making better choices, grounding my energy, and focusing on my senses.

• Focusing on BE-ing rather than DO-ing
• Taking deeper breaths to anchor my energy into the present
• Tuning into my senses to ground my attention into the moment
• Becoming aware of the tension in my body
• Acknowledging the resistance so I can release it
• ACCEPTING the present moment for what it is
• Observing my thoughts, feelings and stories without judgement
• Becoming more curious of my reactions
• LETTING GO of my need to control
• Fully surrendering to the experience of NOW

Realizing that the power for change lies within the present moment

My openness often triggers the defences in others because human beings are conditioned (biologically and socially) to avoid discomfort, distress and pain, but we live in a world that’s full of it, and some of those experiences can be a catalyst for our growth. That’s why I often feel called to share my experience, but the way I write is a prime example of one of my own habitual defence mechanisms, and I’m open to explore that so I can improve my craft as a writer.

I write to make sense of my challenges, but I want to write something worth reading. For me, writing has helped me to understand my SELF better, and writing my story has been a catalyst for my personal growth and development.

I share my thoughts and feelings to support others on a healing journey.