Today, is another significant day for my family. This time last year it was Mam’s funeral. I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t the celebration of life that she deserved. Alas, it wasn’t possible for us to celebrate her life when our hearts were so heavy with loss. Most of our family and alot of Mam’s friends live in the UK, so there were alot of people missing that day. We did the best we could, but it was far from easy.
Most of all we missed Mam’s ability to turn a funeral into a cause for celebration. You see, Mam had a gift of bringing love and laughter to any and all situations. She had an energy that infected the room with smiles. She had the ability to lighten the darkest of moods. Those of you who knew Mam know what I’m talking about. She was a blessing to our lives because she really was some kinda wonderful, which is why she’s missed by so many of you.
But I feel it important to remind you all, that she isn’t missing from our lives. Although I flow with waves of grief, having lost the physical presence of my beloved Mother, I still feel her.
Although I miss being able to talk with my Mam, our conversations continue. Although I miss my Mam’s hugs, I still feel the warmth of her love. Although I miss my Mam’s physical presence, her spirit is still here, there and everywhere. Although I miss my Mam, I focus on what’s changed, rather than what’s missing.
Today, is a significant day for someone else too. My cousin lost her beloved daughter the year before we lost Mam. A synchronicity that captures my attention. I’ve been writing about conversations with spirit. This morning I wrote my first outline for a book and spoke with my collegue about it. Having lost her beloved Dad some years ago, she resonated with my words.
Today, I read Mam’s words in my facebook memories and I share them with you. Truth is, Mam and I have always challenged each other. She continues to challenge me in spirit, and no doubt she still wants to censor me at times 🤣
Both of us unafraid to express and share our truth. Having had different life experiences we learned from each other, but she was my role model in life. She continues to teach me in spirit and I’m so very grateful for her presence.
Today, I got caught in the rain. As others were covered in hoods, huddled under umbrellas and hurrying for undercover, I took my time. As the rain poured down onto me, I laughed because the rain felt so damn good on my skin. I smiled because the joy in my heart made me feel happy to be alive.
Today, one year later, I still cry when I gaze upon your photos and read your words, but my heart feels able to celebrate you more than mourn you. I believe that death isn’t the end, it’s just another beginning. So I embrace TODAY
I love you ALWAYS and FOREVER ❤