” The Watchful Souls “
The building is dark and the mood is somber …
As I walk quickly down the hallway I have a strong sense of suffocation, so I seek out the exit. There are windows all the way down the hallway. The windows frame each room, as if advertising the contents and enticing me to enter. Turning to my left, I notice a large framed window and I see a dark room filled with soft, cuddly toys. In the middle of them I see the outline of a young male. He’s sitting in the dark among the pile, motionless and gazing directly ahead without any expression. The vision unnerves me a little, yet I’m unsure why I’m compelled to enter the room where he sits.
Reaching down to the handle, I open the door and walk inside. I see the young man hasn’t moved. As I quickly sweep my glance over the room, I also see a young girl standing in the corner. Neither of them speak out loud but I can hear voices. I’m confused and a little frightened.
I wonder …
WHERE are the voices coming from ?
WHAT are they saying ?
HOW am I able to hear them ?
WHY is possible ?
HOW is it happening ?
My questions drown out the voices until I hear a loud shout … STOP !!!
Startled, I look up and notice the young man is watching the young girl who is now walking towards me. As she approaches there is an uncomfortable silence. I want to run but my legs won’t move, I want to speak but my mouth won’t open …
Transfixed, I’m hypnotized by her presence.
At a guess she is around 12 years old. Her hair cut short to the scalp as if she has cut it herself. Wearing a dirty grey set of pajamas that were at one time white with pink fluffy bunnies on them. Bare feet and black toe nails. Although her body is malnourished and she appears weak, she glides easily towards me as if standing on a moving floor. As she gets closer I see her facial features becoming clearer. Dark brown glassy eyes that have sunken deep into her skull. Skin that is colourless and without life. Lips dry and cracked … then she smiles at me and reaches out her hand.
I take her hand and like a jolt of lightening her story unfolds ….
She and her older brother have been stuck in this inbetween world for several decades, unable to live but not yet dead. A tortured past keeping them both trapped together in a place of darkness. Watchful souls, who can only look through the window and watch as others pass them by. Watching as people gaze inside and look at the scene, but with no real interest to understand what it is that they see.
This was a room where she had felt safe as a child. A place where she would hide whenever she was afraid. Glancing over to the young man, I notice that he still hasn’t moved but that he’s now looking at me with a look of desperation … I’m confused ?
She tells me that he did things to her, things that no one should ever do. I feel uncomfortable and unsure as to why I am here. My thoughts don’t need to be said out loud because she can hear them, her brother too, but why can’t I hear his voice ?
She tells me that she needs me to help her …
I want to, but WHAT can I do ?
A sudden sharp pain in my head causes some disturbance between our conversation and I hear a softly spoken male voice. I see the young man struggling as he tries to move out from the pile of toys. His sister cries out “PLEASE don’t let him get me”, as she tightly squeezes my hands. She is afraid, but WHY ? … I don’t understand what is happening and I feel a strong sense of conflict, as I also hear the young man saying over and over again … “I forgive you” … “I forgive you.”
The more I tune into what he is saying, the quieter she becomes. The more I hear what he is saying, the more he is able to move. The more he moves the tighter she squeezes my hand. Energy in the room is shifting and we are all feeling uneasy.
I see the young man moving towards us. At a guess he is around 17 years old. He is tall and very thin. Messy black hair and wearing a torn black jumper. He has no limbs ? Yet he moves towards us with no arms or legs. How is this possible ? … as he gets closer I see his face becoming clearer. Bright blue eyes that pierce through to my soul. Blood stained skin and soft red lips that smile at me.
He softly kisses my cheek and like a jolt of lightening his story unfolds ….
A scared little girl is sitting in among her soft toys, crying. He approaches to comfort his little sister by leaning down to hug her, because he knows that she is carrying a heavy burden in her heart. He knows that she is in pain. He knows that someone has hurt her. But she hits him on the head with a hammer that she was holding. Blood runs down his face as life leaves him. His sister cuts off his arms and legs, wraps rope around his body and drags him outside, over the hill, down the embankment and towards the woodland.
I’m horrified by the images that are flashing before me !!!
I don’t understand ???
The young girl has fallen to her knees and is sobbing. She tells us that she had mistaken her brother for the man who had raped her over and over again. She told us that fear took her to a place she couldn’t escape. She begged for her brother’s forgiveness because she loved him so very much. Her brother kneeled down beside her, with arms that could now embrace her. As they hugged each other tightly a light filled the room and the watchful souls were set free …
…. then I woke !!!!