Full moon is a time of release … so LET IT GO

heart break.jpg

The more truth we speak …
The more emotion we release …
The more thoughts we refocus …
The more love we give …
The more acceptance we find …
The more we let go …
… and the more we can just BE ♡

I wrote those words and took that picture 1 year ago today. My smile hides the hurt, but my eyes express the truth. My words have a softness about them, but I was conflicted with feelings of deep despair, gut wrenching sadness and a fury that raged in silence. Feelings I wasn’t quite ready to put into words because they were still buried deep inside of me … waiting to be found

My heart was battered and it was bruised

After many years of being single post divorce and trying to move on from a complicated love connection with a man from my past, I finally decided to let love completely in again. Sharing 18 months of my life with a man I wanted so desperately to love. A man who took me to places within myself that I had never experienced before. First opening my eyes to childlike wonders and a life of possibility, then leading me into the shadows

To a dark place where he left me, alone … so I left

During the healing process of moving on, the man who still had a hold of my heart reconnected with me. Both of us refusing to let go of the “what if” and the “if only,” which took us on yet another bumpy ride. But the truth was, he still wasn’t ready to live his truth out loud. My heart couldn’t bare the secrets and lies nor feeling like the other woman in his life any longer … so I let go

It felt like part of my heart had been ripped out from my chest because I still loved him, deeply, and I probably always will. But in the process of my heart break, I made a conscious decision to keep my heart open in the only way I knew how … going back online to date other men

I wasn’t on the playground long before I realized that casual sex and meaningless conversation with multiple men wasn’t enough for me anymore. So I choose a lover from Paris … oh a la la !!!

We experienced wonders like never before. Our energies intertwined like two long lost lovers from other times. His from a world far beyond the stars and mine from a dimension long ago. We were both caught up in a whirlwind of magic that deflected away from the reality of what was. But ongoing tensions and conflicts eventually brought the truth to light … he was also a married man !!!

The universe has a way of guiding us towards those who reflect back our own truth. Because the truth was … every tension and conflict between Frenchy and I, brought up unexpressed emotions and unresolved conversations with the married man I still love. Slaps of truth that hurt as they surfaced from deep inside of my heart

Truths that dislodged the thorn that was burrowed down deep

So … tonight as I gaze upon the glorious full moon rising. I write 4 names onto paper. Men who have broken my heart open to loving myself. And as the paper burns, I kiss each one gently and send him love and light. Thanking each one for the part they played in my journey


Today, I feel the surrender and RELEASE 

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