The only way to avoid the feeling of loneliness is to embrace our solitude. We do this by being fully aware of our own presence, rather than the absence of others. Recent changes in my life are placing me in a temporary state of TIME OUT from parenting responsibilities and intimate relationships. A place I am NOT comfortable with being

I am not comfortable because its a place that triggers my fears of abandonment, lack of belonging and purpose. But we can either experience the discomfort of being alone or we can embrace our solitude and dance with our shadow

Are you ready to take the lead ?

We know when our shadow wants to dance with us because we feel restless and uncomfortable. Our motivation and energy fluctuates and reduces. Our thoughts and attitude around ourselves, others, love, work etc become negative and distorted. Our walls, guards and defenses go up. We crave substances (food, cigarettes, booze, drugs). We either want to withdraw or attach to others and we have a strong desire to flee from the life we live. These are all signs that our shadow has something to show us. She wants us to become more aware of ourselves and she will become more relentless in her demands for attention

We may feel her presence as a nagging thought in our minds

We may feel her presence as a sense of knowing in our guts

We may feel her presence as a constant ache in our hearts

We may feel her presence as a persistent twitch in our groins

We may feel her presence as a sense of restlessness in our soul

We may feel her presence as an itch under our skin

She knows where and how to tempt us and she will persist until we heed her call

There was a time when I could easily avoid this part of myself in a variety of different ways. Substance abuse to block out the thoughts. Eat to comfort the uncomfortable feelings. Sleep to avoid thinking and feeling. Have sex and masturbate to ease the twitching groin. Seek out love and support from others to soothe the aching heart. Exercise to ease the restlessness and I used to believe that it was more important to have a positive attitude than it was to just BE

At times I still engage in some those behaviours because I am a perfectly flawed human being, but I do struggle to avoid myself in the same way. In truth some of those behaviours can also be a positive response. But as I drink the wine, eat the food, have the sex, seek the love, take to my bed or exercise, I am more aware of myself than I used to be

“ignorance is bliss” … but only for the ignorant

Most people dont want to hear the truth because they dont want their illusions of truth to be destroyed

Its impossible to believe that we can be positive ALL of the time. Its unrealistic to believe that we only consist of love and light. We ALL have our dark shadows that lurk in the corners and they serve a very important purpose in our growth

Our shadows consist of all our fears, doubts, anger, guilt, shame, self absorption, jealousy and ungratefulness. But the purpose of shadow is NOT to bring us down, her purpose is to bring us to our own attention and help us to face our ugly truths

There will come a time on our journey of self discovery when we will meet our shadow self and we will learn that she is a gift to be cherished

She brings our attention to unhealthy attachments, patterns and behaviours. She shows us what it feels like to loose everything that matters most. She tears down our walls and breaks us wide open. She makes us feel everything we want to run away from and although at times it may feel like we are dying inside, we are actually shedding our skins

How do we dance with our shadow ?

We seek support

We say the thoughts out loud and challenge the nonsense

We express the emotions and stroke them gently with each release

We meditate and sit with the discomfort

We stay open to love

We risk exposing our darkness to the light

Shadow serves our highest purpose by shining light on our darkness

She supports our growth

Trust the process and LETS DANCE