Love and loss are our biggest lessons in attachment


Love ❤ … we talk about it, we write about it, we fantasize about it, we avoid it, we celebrate it, we suffer at the hands of it and we can’t live without it.

The experience of love can bring us so much joy when our hearts are full and yet cause us so much pain and anguish when things don’t go as planned or as expected … but why?

Why do we sometimes struggle with allowing love to flow in the direction it wants to take us? and how can we embrace the flow with more acceptance and appreciation? These are questions I often ask myself.

When love is true then why should it matter how, when or where it flows ? Because love forever fills our hearts, regardless of how far away someone lives, if a relationship ends or if a life is lost. The love remains but its the loss that hurts and prolongs our suffering.

I believe that our experience of loss are our biggest teachers on attachment. From personal experience love and loss continue to highlight any of my insecurities and fears. My experiences bring my shadow and dependencies to the surface, that reflect any unhealthy attachments, which have been the cause of most of my suffering when it comes to love, in both my meaningful relationships and intimate connections.

I’m compelled to write about how our attachments influence our experience of both love and loss because I find myself in a familiar space that has triggered some familiar feelings. Only this time I catch myself suspended in this space, experiencing a tension between an old belief system and a new way of being, which has a very different energy to it.

Reflecting over our past experiences is a great way to monitor our growth and development as we mature. Reflecting over how we are thinking, feeling and experiencing our present is a great way to become more aware of ourselves.

We are all here to learn our own lessons in love. Each path leading us in different directions, yet we all arrive at the same destination. Whether we are married, divorced, engaged, single, heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, lesbian, young or old we all experience love. Love is at the very core of all of our relationships with ourselves, our lovers, our family, our friends, our pets, our work, our hopes and our dreams.

I believe this to be true, yet sometimes I still find myself comparing my journey to others. And at times I still feel like I’m being judged for doing it wrong. But maybe our lesson in love is to accept love for what it is and just let it flow, regardless of how, when or where it flows ? Perhaps plans and expectations are nul in void in matters of love ?

I am here to loosen my attachments and deepen my connections ❤

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