What is fear ?

“An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm”

I began delving into my fears when I started looking deeper into my bad habits

As I explored why I bit my nails, smoked cigarettes, over indulged in alcohol, comforted myself with food and had sex with men who didn’t love me, I eventually realized that at the core of my unhealthy behaviour was either hurt or fear, and usually both.

Explorations that continued to take me deeper and deeper into myself

First making me more self aware, which at times was frustrating as fuck because there’s nothing worse than knowing why you’re doing something that isn’t good for you. It sucks the enjoyment right out of it, raising all those feelings of shame, guilt and self loathing.

Its true, the more you look, the more you find, which is usually why we stop looking. But what if we keep looking ?

Well, that’s exactly what I did and it made all the difference

Its why I’m here doing what I’m doing, going where I’m going

But not without the presence of fear

Last night as I lay in bed, listening to the strange noises stirring through the house, my fear began to rumble. But instead of freezing or fleeing by either hiding under my blanket or staying where I was with the light on, I faced it. I wandered down stairs and explored the house, confronting what I was afraid of. That there was something or someone lurking in a dark corner, waiting for an opportunity to frighten or harm me.

Feeling very brave I was, but I still slept with the lamp on 😊 hahaha

Because I’m far from being the fearless warrior woman that I like to believe that I am. Most of the time I’m freaking the fuck out before I decide to confront whatever it is that I am afraid of. But I do it anyways.

I guess that IS courage

I do believe that our greatest fears are our biggest opportunities for growth

A belief that’s been the biggest game changer, which is altering my experiences in new and profound ways. Because the more fears I confront and the more hurts I heal, the more my reality begins to change.

😊😊😊 Exciting hey 😊😊😊

The thing is, we dont attract our hearts desire, create our dreams or live the life we imagine without fear. Quite the contrary. Our fears actually lead the way forward because whatever it is we are most afraid of, is the very same thing that will lead us towards our success.

If this is so, then why are we afraid of fear ?

Because that is the story we have been told and the very same story we keep telling ourselves

But what if we have the ability to change the story ?

So lets take a closer look at fear

It stems from our innate need to survive

To stay away from those things that could hurt us: falling from great heights, drowning in rough seas or getting bitten or eaten by dangerous creatures.

But as our world has progressed, so have our fears

If we take a closer look at our fears, we will find that many of them are irrational and stand in the way of our progress. Holding us back, keeping us stuck in the same realities, repeating the same patterns of behaviour and experiencing the same cycles of uncomfortable emotions, that continues to provoke our bad habits.

Hmmmmmm she ponders

The reality of fear is …

We dont really fear the dark, we are afraid of what we cannot see

We dont really fear heights, we are afraid of falling

We dont really fear people, we are afraid to trust

We dont really fear falling in love, we are afraid of not being loved back

We dont really fear letting go, we are afraid to accept the reality of what is

We dont really fear the risk, we are afraid of failing

The deeper we look into our fear, the more we see how they reflect how we are thinking, feeling and are experiencing life. When our thinking is motivated by fear we start thinking that the world is a dangerous place, people are not to be trusted and our safety is under threat, which impacts not only on our own experiences, but also influences every other person we come into contact with. Thinking that causes more heart hurts and creates deeper wounds for everyone.

So, ask yourself …

Are you feeding fear or are you sharing love ?

What am I afraid of ?
What am I holding onto ?
What am I scared of loosing ?
What would I do if I wasn’t afraid ?

Accepting that fear lives with us just as much as love, is a challenging concept to grasp. We usually avoid what ever it is we are most afraid of and we certainly wouldn’t want to openly share our fears with other people.

Why  ?

Because it exposes our vulnerabilities and our weaknesses

Something we ALL have, yet we all hide behind masks, avoiding the truth of who we really are, which is beautiful complex creatures full of wonderful contradictions. Ravishing creations of both positive and negative, light and dark, masculine and feminine.

Each one of us learning how to balance our polarities, maintain healthy relationships, live a meaningful life and love those who matter most to us.

Mindful interaction ❤