Opening up to love

heart.jpg

This isn’t just another tragic love story,
its a story about love

Never able to fully comprehend what lies ahead of her,
she still chooses to follow her heart.

Always heeding the call of love,
no matter where it leads her.

But time after time love has continued to hurt her.
Breaking her heart open,
again and again.

Her demands for more growth, more intimacy and more honesty,
met with abandonment and rejection.

Left to gather up the pieces of her broken heart and face her darkest fears alone.

Yet, she still loves the men who broke her heart

Why ?

Because they each led her deeper

Deeper towards new understandings of herself,

and about the kind of love that she wants to experience.

But, it wasn’t always so

In the past she walked away,
falling into an abyss of despair,
and into the arms of other men.
Sharing her body,
while guarding her heart.

Then love got complicated when her heart connected with his

A connection that knew no time, distance or reason

Although she remained in the shadows of his life,
her heart remained true to him.

Trusting in the truth of their love

A feeling that kept pulling them back together,
again and again.

But, while she was willing to give her all,
he was conflicted with his choices.
And, while she crossed oceans,
he struggled to jump puddles.

A pattern repeated,
time after time.

Until she broke open to the truth

As the final pieces of the impossible dream fall away,
she still holds love in her heart.
Because she no longer questions the love,
and finally appreciates the lesson.

You see,
The woman she once was,
would step back and lower her head in defeat.
Lick her wounds,
and feel a sense of betrayal.

A hopeful heart forever holding on,
refusing to let go of the possibility of more.

But that woman has gone,
burned down to the ground in ceremonial passage through the shadow lands.

The loss no longer hurting her heart,
but changing her forever.

She woke up to her truth

Awakened

Perhaps that was always the purpose?
To destroy the woman she once was,
so she could become all that she was meant to be.

She smiles to herself

Because she no longer blames any of the men who have hurt her,
nor does she expect anything from them.
In fact she has offered thanks,
for breaking her open to love.

Grateful for the gift

Taking full responsibility for her own choices,
accountable for her own actions.
OWNING IT !!!
Because its hers,
not theirs.

Forgiveness that heals her heart and cleanses her soul

Yet she still feels a sense of discomfort inside of her

What is she still holding onto?

“Get into your body,
it has the answers that you seek”.

The whisperings keep telling her.

“Its time to share how the shit fertilizes our growth”

She starts walking,
faster and faster.
As her heart rate increases,
the realizations soon begin to flow.

In the past YOU have used men,
to escape yourself.
Seeking men for comfort, for pleasure, for balance.

For the love that YOU struggled to give yourself

Your body
Your heart
Your choices
Your lessons

No shame
No regrets
No guilt
No remorse

Tears begin to flow,
as she suddenly acknowledges that her soul was free.

Wandering aimlessly

Lost

Afraid to be this free,
with nothing left to hold her back.

No anchor

She feels herself drifting,
seeking something to hold onto.

Her grandparents come to mind

A vision of the devoted and forgiving wife.
Dutiful but unfaithful husband.
And in the distance,
a hopeful woman waiting in the shadows.

A reflection

Their hearts,
her heart.

ONEness ?

A strong sense of spirit surrounds her,
as she falls deeper and deeper into heart space.

Overwhelming emotion pulsating through her veins

Someone hold me !!!
she crys,
as her legs grow tired and knees begin to weaken.

The lyrics of a song plays in the background,
“baby let the light shine through you.”

Words that resonate with her heart,
but thoughts tell her.

“You’re not good enough to stand among the greats”
“Who do you think you are to believe that you can achieve great things?”
“You’re not worthy of the life you want”
“Why do you believe that you are deserving of success?”
“You’ve been a fool in love, so what wisdom do you have to offer others?”

Falling to her knees,
her sobs become more desperate.

No matter how afraid she is,
she still follows the guidance of her heart.
No matter how much it hurts,
she still opens up to the flow of love.

Blind faith guides her

But why must she walk alone?

Does she have a bigger purpose?

or is it true …

Is she just a foolish dreamer?

Lowering her head,
sweat and tears fall onto the ground.
Her body crippled with grief.

Thoughts of,
Dishonest men,
Wanting women,
Cheating husbands,
Compromising wives,
Emotionally detached men,
Needy women.

So many hurting hearts

Then a voice whispers,
“THIS is what you write”

NO !!
she pleads.
“my words would bleed all over the page”
she cries.

Which is why you MUST write !!

Mindful interaction

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