Accountability breeds response-ability


Today, I had a conversation with my work colleague about rape

She told me about men who had raped young women in the neighbourhood not so long ago. Sharing her feelings of fear and concerns for her daughters safety when walking home alone.

But as a Mother, my RAGE was much louder than my fear.

It was interesting then, how our conversation progressed

I NOTICED my collegues fear and concern,
I NOTICED our differing opinions,
I NOTICED my emotions flowing from my gut,
I NOTICED the energy exchange within and between US,
I NOTICED the shift from fear to POWER.


Fanfookintastic to feel your free flowing energy radiating through me

It was a fine example of how women are RISING in their power

No longer lowering our heads and stepping back in fear, as the weaker sex. Instead, we are standing tall, fists clenched ready to fight any fucker who DARE disrespect us and our body in any way.

ENOUGH !!! … she roars

Then I realized, that THIS is the gift we give each other when we decide to heal the deeper wounds in our own hearts and dare to confront our biggest programmed fears. Because the less our hurts and fears hold us back, the more able we are to STAND in our TRUTH, which is our ULTIMATE expression of LOVE and experience of EMPOWERMENT

And ladies and gents, THAT kind of powerful shit is contagious

However, as women WE also NEED men to be accountable for their own behaviour and actions. Because its not just “bad” men DOING bad things. Too many “good”men are also not DOING the right thing.

Men with good intentions pointing the finger towards the wrong doing of “other men” while failing to be accountable for their own actions.

I NOTICE this happening a lot … Do you ?

Something that triggered a memory

A conversation with my parents many years ago comes to my mind

A story about young men bragging about their weekend conquests, including the rape of a young drunken woman on a bridge. It was a conversation that was raised with intentions of alerting 3 young daughters of the dangers in this world. And a reminder that even “nice” young men can act like total dicks while under the influence of substance or when egged on by even dickier mates.

A memory that reminded me that even back then, at the tender age of around 13 years old, I had FURY in my belly and many questions to ask.

How could those young men think that it was OK to behave in such a way?
How could other men (and fathers) listen, encourage and condone such behaviour?

Why aren’t such men being held fully accountable?
Why aren’t all men standing up and stopping these kinds of conversations?
Why aren’t all men seeking justice for every young woman?

Questions that are STILL very relevant today

Because I could give you so many more examples of both men and women who are not yet standing in their complete truth, struggling to speak from their hearts and challenged with ongoing social expectations.

Good men and women who are oblivious to how their own action (or lack there of) reinforces the harmful behaviour of others.

A challenging concept I know

YES, I see what the “bad” men have done and are STILL doing in this world. But I also NOTICE the behaviour and actions of “good” fathers, husbands and men.

I NOTICE the “good fathers” drooling over the big breasted young woman like a dog on heat, while expecting his own daughter to be treated with respect by other men.

I NOTICE the “good husbands” indulging in porn to satisfy his sexual hunger, instead of focusing his attention on how he can gain more intimacy with his wife.

Sure, its not rape but is it respectful behaviour towards women?

I believe that its not only what we DO but also what we DON’T do, for which we are accountable. And the more accountable we are for our own behaviour, the more ability we have to respond in a more responsible manner for ALL.

Mindful interaction

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