Reflecting over the journey

path.jpg

Today is NEW MOON, so if you haven’t done so already, its the perfect time to hit PAUSE and go within to rest, reflect and release. Its the perfect time to clear away anything that no longer serves us or our greater good, so that intentions can be set for the new monthly cycle ahead.

Our reflections take us into the past on purpose, so we can better understand the present, which then enables us to set clearer intentions for our future.

“The PAST is behind us, learn from it
The FUTURE is ahead of us, prepare for it
The PRESENT is here, live it”

As a writer, its a constant state of being because our stories are created from our own lived experiences, as well as from our wildest imaginations. That place within our hearts, that yearns to set sail into Other worlds, where alternate realities can be created. Oh how I love that place.

As a writer, my reality is wonderful (mostly) because my world is magical

Yes, I am a writer

 I may not (yet) be a published author, but the possibility is closer than it was yesterday because I take action towards it EVERY DAY

The choice not to write is no longer an option because the deeper I go, the more demanding the need to express, release and share my words becomes. In truth, Ive also known that “I would write one day, it was just a matter of living enough, healing enough, avoiding it for long enough until the moment was right”
(Jeff Brown)

After years of wanting and wishing for the kind of life that allows me to feel a sense of freedom to write, I finally am, which is making all the difference to my life NOW and I’m very excited about the possibilities of tomorrow.

My life is changing direction because I made a choice and took a chance

But, nothing about it has been or is easy, because although I follow the calling of my heart, its a call that takes me away from those I love most. And in all honesty, there’s no guarantee that my wildest dreams will actually come true, but I do believe that its becoming a stronger possibility.

Many moon cycles ago, I surrendered

Setting intention to serve the greater good, to open my heart completely, to actively heal and love myself, to realize my souls true purpose and to trust the process as it unfolds. A seed that Universe has been nurturing as my experiences continue to help me grow into my dreams.

You see, being a writer is the process of becoming

As a writer, we not only express ourselves with the written word. We are constantly overcoming internal obstacles that hold us back in the past. We are constantly discovering hidden aspects of ourselves, which brings new perspectives into our present. And we are constantly exploring alternate realities as we experiment with our lives and shape our future.

The world of a writer is one of a great adventure

We each awaken our senses and stumble upon our truths in different ways. For many the journey of self discovery begins with a curiosity about the meaning of life. For some, its trauma that throws us into the endless abyss of self discovery.  And for others a broken heart shatters the world in which we live, forcing us to recreate ourselves.

Regardless of how our journey begins, we all become explorers

Exploring the thoughts in our minds, the emotions in our bodies, the love in our hearts and how the energy within and around us influences our choices and experiences. Explorations that eventually lead us towards our awakening.

As a deep thinker, I first recognized it as a shift in my consciousness

An awareness of an expansion in my mind that was endless, accompanied with a feeling of an expansion in my heart as it beat to the rhythm of everything around me. A change in thinking that brought many more curiosities, which Ive been exploring and experimenting with over the years. Diving in deeper and connecting with Universe and spirit energy. Learning more about how we can flow together and create new realities.

Manifesting the experiences that I need to be on purpose

For far too long I struggled because in all honesty, I didn’t like where my path was taking me. It seemed to keep wanting to lead me away from those things I wanted most, so I resisted. Fear kept holding me back and influencing my choices. So, I kept repeating the same patterns and experiencing the same challenges in all aspects of my life, until eventually the frustrations began to overpower the fear.

 A liberating, but challenging time

Since then the path unfolds with a little more ease because I’m starting to flow with a little less resistance. I have less need to feel in control of my life because I have more trust in Universe and more belief in myself.

Coming to the UK has enabled me to fully surrender to the flow of my writing, but it doesn’t come easily. I suffer the consequences of my choices as much as I celebrate them. Waves of emotion flow in and sometimes linger a little too long for my liking, which is all part of the process.

“Forgive yourself for not being what everyone else needed”

As unpleasant memories surface, this is what sits deep within my heart. The need to forgive myself for not always being the Mother, the wife, the daughter, the sister, the friend, the nurse, the lover and the woman that other people needed me to be.

Oh yes, standing in our own truth can feel uncomfortable at times. Our insecurities are far from pretty, but our shadow just wants to be seen because whether we like it or not, it IS very much a part of who we are.

Is it easy to share our shadows ?  

FUCK NO !!!

That’s why very few people do 

Whenever I decide to share a negative thought, an uncomfortable emotion, a messy mind, a bad attitude or a conflicted belief, I brace myself for reactions to “the real me.” Because in truth, not everyone wants to see all of who I am, which is why the TOO much woman is often followed with censorship for the comfort of others. So, when someone not only accepts, but loves that part of us, our heart feels safe, trust is strengthened, love is deepened and the shadow is transformed into something beautiful.

That’s the kind of  love we ALL deserve and are worthy of

From SELF and from OTHER

But being emotionally vulnerable for all to see, isn’t for the faint of heart. For me, it feels like I’m standing naked on a stage, in a room full of people, waiting in anticipation for the sniggers, the judgments, the gasps of horror and the disgust. So, as I write from a place of complete abandonment, I often feel the presence of those energies that seek to silence me.

Shame, guilt, fear and doubt are often my writing companions

Although I don’t believe everything I think, I still have emotional reactions to some of the thoughts that those energies stir within me. Triggers that tell me that there’s something within me that needs acknowledged and healed.

Which is why as a writer, our words have the power to inspire and heal others

Being honest with ourselves is hard enough, but as a writer we have another challenge. Our stories are created from our experiences and therefore involve other people. So, do we share the complete truth from our perspective ?

Hmmmmmmm she ponders

What am I releasing and what intentions do I set this NEW MOON ?

I dare to dream the impossible dream and I risk being seen in all my glory

And as the obstacles are moved away one by one and the energetic blockages no longer hold me back. The gates of heaven open up and the words begin to fall down upon the page. My writing becomes a spiritual practice, as I honor the call to write, write, write.

The journey IS my story

Mindful interaction

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s