Why does it still take me by surprise whenever I resonate with what’s happening with the stars?
Isn’t this flowing with Universe ?
Feelings of unworthiness has been heavy in my heart and doubt has been walking by my side. Ofcourse, I’d rather be in better company but whether I like it or not, here they are.
So it’s better to acknowledge their presence and ask what they have to say. I often have these kinds of conversations with myself, but this morning my sister connected with me at the right time. And there were words shared between us, that offered me deeper insight.
She offered the voice of reason in the midst of my chaos. Because doubt has a way of triggering our greatest fears and deepest hurts. Its a place where the mind is stimulated into overdrive and our wounds release emotion.
So it’s far from rational 😜
Dark moons bring to the surface whatever wants to be released. Something that needs to change because it no longer serves our greater good. It can be related to a situation, a person, a habit, a pattern or a belief that limits us.
This month, I’ve been dragged deeper into the dark and shown some of my deeper wounds.
Truth is, I ended my relationship because I told myself that he deserved to be loved better than I was able to love him at this time. But did that mean I was unworthy of love ?
As doubt nagged in my ear this morning, I had thoughts of regret, unleashing my emotions. I felt a sense of panic and had a strong desire to act. But instead of acting out, I sat with myself.
As I observed the thoughts flowing through and allowed emotion to rise and fall, the energy shifted and I recognized what I was avoiding.
What is my worth ?
How do I measure my value ?
Who is responsible for loving me ?
In my minds eye, I see my inner child laying in the fetal position. The part of me that reaches out for external validation, comfort, support, nurturing and love from others. A part of me that’s so very afraid to be alone in this world.
Is this the inner child missing her Mother ?
Is it the feeling centre of ALL my grief ?
Is this the source of Collective Mother wound ?
Is this where the healing begins ?
Note to self: I AM responsible for the energy I bring. All is as it should be, trust the process, keep your heart open and allow life to unfold.