Letting go is a process and it can get so bloody messy and confusing. Even when we KNOW it’s the right time for our paths to diverge, we can still find ourself caught up in our fears. Holding on and staying stuck, where there is no flow, only resistance to what IS.
Although we both knew it was time for us to part ways, I struggled to fully let go. Although I knew that our choices were leading us down different paths because we wanted different things in life, I still struggled to let him go.
Why did I struggle ?
Because when we “feel” the one we’ve been loving taking the steps to walk away in another direction, our niggling doubts can play on our minds, causing all kinds of chaos with our thinking. My fear of making a mistake, of being alone and never finding a man who would ever love me in the same way he did, made it impossible for me to let go. My thoughts made me feel like shit. I felt rejected, abandoned and sorry for myself.
Feelings I had to FEEL !!!
I’m learning that acceptance, like healing, isn’t instant, it’s a process. I’m also learning how to be more gentle with myself during the process of accepting what is. As I continue to walk a little more confidently on a road less travelled.