Conversations with spirit

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The last few days I’ve glanced at clocks when numbers are repeating (1.11, 2.22, 3.33). And yesterday I unknowingly posted the frog photo at 4.44. Some say these are angel numbers.

I’m not really sure what it
eans, but I believe in spirit. And the past seems to be loosening its grip on me. Over the last few weeks some things are beginning to fall away from my life.

And I notice there’s less resistance.

Usually, whenever I feel something or someone leaving, I fight to hold on. If I’m honest with myself, I often hold on longer than I should, and fight for things no longer meant for me. I don’t let go easily. Usually, it takes time and alot of mental anguish and emotional upset, for me to release something or someone from my life.

Maybe its the stubborn goat in me ?
Perhaps its my hopeful heart ?
Maybe its a lack of boundaries ?
Perhaps its a need for faith ?

I realize that I resist letting go because I fear the void I’ll feel when it or they have gone. I usually don’t welcome that empty feeling. It’s why I fill the void with food, by comfort eating.

But what if the empty feeling is the creating of space ? What if it’s clearing old energies, so new energy can flow ? What if the void is like a blank canvas for the artist to paint, and an empty page for the writer to write ? As a creative BEing shouldn’t I welcome the void ?

Last night at work, a Praying Mantis flew at me. I was mesmerized by her presence. She looked like a fairy with her pinkish wings. The RN said it looked like Tinkerbell, which made me smile.

Some say when this creature crosses your path it brings a message. Symbolic of stillness, patience and intuition. Reminding us to slow down and connect to the gift of our everyday moments. To strengthen our connection to Source with spiritual practice.

On my walk back to the van from work I treated myself to breakfast at the Shack. I noticed I sat on the chair infront of “Don’t worry, be happy” and it made me think about my Mam. When I shared the photo, a family friend commented that I had sat at the same table she had sat with her Mum, on her last birthday. Her Mum is now in spirit and our Mum’s were friends.

After a bite to eat, I stopped at the beach for a dip in the ocean and I napped on the sand for awhile. I love how FB tagged my friend Christie, who is now in spirit. The same thing happens with Mam now and then. FB never recognized either of them in my face when they were living. So I believe its a message from spirit. A reminder of their presence and it comforts me.

After a rest to recharge my batteries, I carried on walking to the van. Popped in my earphones and listened to some of my favourite tunes. Songs I imagine being played to certain scenes in a movie. Of a story yet to be written.

Miley Cirus “The Climb”
Tina Turner & Angelique Kidjo “Easy as Life”
Christina Perri “A thousand years”
Disturbed ” The sound of silence”
James Blunt “Bonfire heart”
Bon Jovi “Its my life”
Def Leppard “Love bites”
Missy Higgins “Temporary love”
Sam Smith “Stay with me”
James Morrison “All around the world”

As I walked, memories, reflections and insights flowed through my mind. As I watched the cars as they drove by, I thought about their rush and their busy. Instead of envying their wheels, I felt blessed to have the freedom to take my time.

A green parrot flew straight towards me, as if he was playing a game of chicken. He gained height at the last minute, and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at his boldness, or blindness. A currawong and I captured each others gaze, so I bowed my head and greeted him a good day.

I laughed out loud when a lizard ran across my path, with his head outstretched like he was the road runner being chased by Kayote.

The little critters and creatures were comical and full of character, which amused me.

When I got back to the van, I showered and had a lay down on the sofa under the gazebo. A cool breeze was blowing and dappled sunlight created pretty shadows on my legs. I drifted off to sleep thinking “What a wonderful world”

I remind myself, that I can either choose to feel the heaviness of my grief, or I can choose to stay open to the loving presence of spirit ❤

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