Heart shattered
Into pieces
She fell down … broken
Stay open, she begged

💔

Heart twisted
Mind crippled
She lay down … wounded
Stay open, she whispered

💔

Tempestuous emotions
Unrestrained thoughts
She kneeled … bewildered
Stay open, she cried

💔

Breath IN …
Breath OUT …
She stood … agaped
Stay open she screamed

💔

Awakened heart
Conscious mind
She opened … the LOVE poured IN
Stay present she said

❤

Walking home on a cold grey winters morning
Fairy faint raindrops sprinkling down over my head
Cool crisp wind blowing onto my cheeks
The smell of earthy damp goodness in the air
Walking through the door
Honey … you’re home
The welcomed relief of ripping off my clothes
And jumping into a hot steamy shower
Water cascading over my curvy cool softness
Pouring onto my tired shoulders
Warming and massaging my aching muscles
Allowing the water to flow and fondle my skin
Blissing out on the luxury of hot running water
Gently drying off my body with a soft towel
Then crawling in between the sheets
After fantasizing about sleep all night long
Cool pillow cushioning my tired heavy head
Melting into the softness that is bed
Sheets caressing my warm naked flesh
Orgasmic bliss without sexual touch
Oh yesssssssss baby !!!!!

The seduction of SLEEP 😊

I’m learning that the more I follow my heart, the easier I flow with my emotions, the more observant I am of my thoughts, the more I trust my instincts, the more my energy flows with universe and the more guided I am ❤

This morning I woke feeling unmotivated and emotional, so I decided to watch a movie because its usually a great way for me to release emotion. Browsing through the playlist I was drawn to “Equals” a futuristic film about the eradication of emotion. A brilliant story that helped me to process a tension within my own heart beautifully, which shifted my focus instead of dwelling in emotional confusion

The story is about how the “collective” live without feelings. Those diagnosed with a disease “SOS” (switched on syndrome) are treated with inhibitors to reduce emotion. Coupling is discouraged because that’s what obviously increases the symptoms of SOS, which are overwhelming emotions, unpredictable sensory experiences, difficulty concentrating, impulsivity, sensitivity, anxiety, depression, pain and acute behavioural chaos. All those wonderful human experiences to be embraced are denied because the “collective” seeks order. Order that is disrupted when people WAKE UP to their feelings and fall in love, which is punishable. Ever noticed how a great story will grab our attention when we are emotionally invested in it ☺

The couple who fall in love are disconnected from each other because during a medical she finds out she is pregnant (GASP). His heart is broken because he believes that he’s lost her forever, so he chooses to numb himself to the pain by taking the new found cure of emotion. She finds her way back to him but its too late because within a few hours he will only remember that he once loved her with no ability to “feel” the love they shared

  A story that got my mind ticking on both a personal and a collective level ❤

An accidental coincidence ?
Or divine guidance ?

This New moon in Cancer asks us to support our emotional needs by becoming more aware of those needs. Those of us with Cancer heavily in our natal charts will be feeling it the most. I’m Capricorn with Cancer rising, so my energy has been a buzz and this morning I was a beautiful mess. Energy that’s been intensified because the Goddesses are working on our Sacral chakra, which is our lower emotional center

Apparently the more centered we are in our Heart chakra (mother energy) the less likely we are to react from our lower emotional center, which is our Sacral chakra (inner child). This morning I acknowledged that my needs were not being met, which triggered a hurt and released some uncomfortable emotions.But by listening to my instincts I was guided towards something that supported me to flow with and process those emotions

At this time of month there is a lot of dark Goddess energy floating around (Lilith). Perhaps working through and clearing my own Lilith energy last month is helping me during this New Moon ? Lilith energy helps us to shine light on shadow and makes us take personal responsibility for it. She makes us see the truth of ourselves, of others and the world around us, which isn’t always a pleasant experience

But we aren’t able to CREATE new realities until we are able to SEE the truth

According to Tanishka the Goddess Aphrodite influences this energy point and she’s ALL about “relationship” with ourselves and others

The Sacral chakra is our E-motion heart space “feeling” centre, which governs our sexual and creative energy. So if we are experiencing any tensions and conflicts within our intimate relationships (either loving ourselves or others), if we are experiencing tensions around sex and love or if our creativity isn’t flowing then this is the energy center that may be blocked

To help activate energy flow in this area then we look into any issues around intimacy, sexuality, emotions, sensuality, commitment, security, honor, loyalty, fidelity and confidence

Accepting our emotions isn’t always easy because sometimes its uncomfortable and at times it can be fucking painful 💔 which is why many of us choose to deny, avoid, ignore and suppress our feelings. Especially when they involve our deepest darkest desires, which are usually connected to our fears and hurts. But when we finally ACCEPT and ALLOW our emotions to flow as they’re meant to, we start to release ourselves from any fears that are linked to our hurts

OPENING up our heart space to more LOVE ❤

I believe that our hearts break OPEN for a reason …

Learning how to “make peace with death cycles, losses, transitions and endings in our lives and to ultimately know their goodness, rightness and purposefulness” isn’t an easy lesson for us to learn but its how we learn to recognize when its time to let go of a person, a situation, a behaviour, a habit, an emotion or a belief and move onto NEW BEGINNINGS ❤

This blog is all about sharing my own personal experience with the process of CHANGE

So, I feel its important to talk about a very personal journey I’m currently on

Being a moon gazer and seeking to flow better with my menstrual cycle, the universe connected me with Tanishka “The Moon Woman.” A woman who has been empowering women for over 20 years by reawakening us to those wonderful lost ancient traditions of Woman Wisdom

During her online “Red Tent” course I was introduced to the “Goddess Makeover”, which I began to work through alone. But after experiencing some profound shifts within myself, I decided to share the journey because I knew that the experience would be richer within a circle of women. And this is how our Goddess Gatherings have come about

Tanishka introduces us to 7 Goddesses, who she believes best represent our 7 main energy centers (chakra). She takes us through a 7 step program towards experiencing the true power of our feminine essence

“Unlike the quick fix exterior makeovers that fade when you take a shower, this insightful and life affirming journey of self discovery will empower your feminine sense of self for a life time”

Hence why it tickled my interest

But you know what, women have ALWAYS gathered in circles, they’ve just taken on different forms over the years

How many Tupperware parties have you been invited to ?

Come on ladies, were they really about the plastic containers ?

Women are intuitively guided to gather together because sharing and supporting each other kinda comes naturally for most of us. But dont you think its kinda odd that things like Tupperware, lingerie and makeup parties relate to being a “good wife” who is gathering stocks for her kitchen and finding ways to better stimulate and satisfy her husband by “looking good”

Hmmmmmmm … she ponders

Thank fuck for those sexually liberated friends sending out invitations to sex toy parties and Goddess gatherings. Those of us who seek to empower women to be ALL they can be, instead of confining ourselves to those patriarchal “good” boxes

My gatherings with women have always included family and friends. So I was thrilled when my Mam, both sisters and a few friends showed interest in this Goddess makeover because I knew it would bring a more personal sense of meaning and purpose to our circles … and it IS ☺

What I love most about Tanishkas 7 step program is how she guides us towards our own individual stories, which we then share in circle. Our gatherings are focusing on how old stories from our past have shaped and influence our experiences. This helps us to identify any tensions and conflicts that are holding us back or limiting us. Those things that are blocking our flow of energy and preventing us from living our truest potential

My role as facilitator is to provide the space, resources and tools to experience and support our personal journey of discovery, that we each move through at home at our own pace. I strive to encourage each woman to step out of her comfort zone, where she begins to tap into her own creative power, which she also shares in circle

The circle itself then takes on a power all of its own

It becomes a circle of transformation

A sacred space where we are all supported and nurtured during our process of healing and growth, which is why … “Each time women gather in circles with one another the world heals a little more”  ❤

Contemplating over some recent conversations Ive had, I’m reminded that although seeking solitude is an essential part of our spiritual change and growth, so are the conversations we have with others.

 I often seek solitude and isolate myself to process new information, release emotions and to basically privilege my own changes as they flow. I find I need this time and space more the deeper I go because without it I begin to feel suppressed and quite agitated. Other times I seek out the kinda conversation that stimulates my interest, sparks off more curiosities, takes me in other directions and raises different questions. Throwing Rapunzel back into her tower of solitude for more reflective thinking.

Its no secret that I have a passionate interest into the human experience. Ive been exploring different layers of truth for some years now. Exploring how our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, energy and relationships have and DO influence our experiences. Learning to identify how our hurts and fears create blocks that hold us back from living the life we imagine. I’m also very curious about how our individual perceptions of reality can dramatically alter our experiences, which raises some interesting questions to ponder …

How does my reality differ from yours ?

What creates and supports those differences ?

Why are we challenged and threatened by some realities ?

Can we exist in multiple realities at the same time ?

Over the years Ive often been told that I live in my own fantasy fairy world, to open my eyes to how the world “really” is, to get my head out of the clouds, to take off my rose coloured glasses and to be “realistic”

It’s true, my reality IS different to most.

I’ve had conversations with my family, that’s highlighted how many of my memories often differ to theirs, which has nothing to do with my inability to recall and everything to do with only remembering those things that are of importance to me. I’ve had conversations with friends who have made similar life choices, yet have had very different experiences to my own. I’ve had conversations with people diagnosed with dementia, depression, anxiety, bi-polar and schizophrenia who have a very different experience of reality. I’ve had conversations with mystics and psychics who connect with spirit that co-exists alongside our reality.

Conversations that suggest reality is subjective.

I believe in reincarnation, past lives and that there are other life forms existing on other planets and Ive recently been challenged by the possibility of parallel universes and multiple dimensions

Yes, it’s all mind blowing stuff !!!

Speaking of which, Ive recently had several experiences of “face morphing” or otherwise known as “transmutation” Something Ive never even thought of before, let alone experienced. It first happened while I was washing my hands at the bathroom sink, looking into the mirror and seeing someone elses face, which I just put down to poor lighting and sleepy eyes. Then my sister witnessed my face change during a conversation, which we just laughed off until my Mam had the same experience chatting with me a few days later … is the whole family crazy ? … Absolutely ☺ hahahahahaha

Although Ive heard various opinions and theories, I’m still not really sure what I believe or what it actually means, but its intriguing me. There are a lot of conversations being had on various social media platforms about how our world is shifting from a 3rd to 5th dimensional consciousness. Those who believe that my face morphing experience is reflective of my own energy shifts, which led me to do a little research

In brief ….

The 3rd Dimension is the material world of thought, which is our physical reality. Here we often experience a strong sense of separation from ourselves, others and the source of creation because we are exploring the material world in our human form. Our focus is primarily on raising our families, buying our homes, going to work, planning holidays and paying the bills. We seek retirement and we grow older. We identify ourselves as being a mother, a daughter, a nurse and a student etc. We describe ourselves as being someone who is honest, smart, curious, loyal and responsible etc. Its where the thinkers wander

The 4th Dimension is the magical world of emotion, which is the astral plane of truth. Here we experience a strong sense of polarity because its where we learn how to balance our light/darkness and our strength/shadow. Our primary focus is connecting to spirit and tapping into our creative potential. We seek enlightenment and we grow wiser. Its where we find unusual powers and phenomenon. We identify ourselves as being a witch, enchantress, psychic, healer and light worker etc. Its where the magic makers, star gazers, heart healers, spirit whisperers, moon worshipers, forest dwellers, artists, visionaries, time travellers and astral projectors drift

The 5th Dimension is the miraculous world of love, which is the heavenly plane of light. Here we experience a strong sense of connection to ourselves, others and the source of creation because we are open for universe to manifest miracles though us. We are co-creators of our reality with universe. In this space our actions are based entirely on love, not fear because there is complete trust and faith in spirit. We seek nothing and we grow lighter. We identify ourselves as being divine beings of love and light and openly share our visions. Its where the spiritual masters and mentors mosey

Hmmmmm … she ponders

Our journey back home to ourselves is quite the wonderful adventure isn’t it. Makes you wonder why more of us aren’t booking in time off work to travel the astral planes and transcend instead of going on trips abroad.

So, HOW do we raise our energetic vibrations and tap into these other magical and miraculous dimensions where we can co-create with universe ?

We understand that everything is energy that is meant to FLOW, therefore nothing is permanent and everything is forever changing. A belief that assists me to identify anything that may be blocking the flow, whether it be a thought, an emotion, a hurt, a fear or a limited belief.

 What we think, how we feel and what we do NOW is what matters most. A belief that helps us to make better choices for ourselves in the moment. Doing things like journal writing helps us to observe our thoughts and express our feelings. Tapping into our right brain and CREATING helps us to stay PRESENT

We become more conscious of our thoughts and BELIEVE that everything IS possible. That what we want to create already exists (Law of attraction)

We cultivate a grateful heart because the vibration of GRATITUDE attracts more positive things into our lives

We live LOVE by allowing our hearts to guide us. We do what we love, be with who we love and surround ourselves with whoever and whatever it is we want more of

We become more ACTIVE, move our bodies and DANCE

We eat less processed crap and eat more RAW foods

We drink more WATER

We make time to MEDITATE and breathe deeply

We walk BARE FOOT on the earth and dip our toes in the ocean

We gaze upon the sky and soak up sun and moon energies

We notice and look for BEAUTY in ALL things

We DE-CLUTTER our work and living spaces

We HUG and be hugged

“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self transformation” (Lao Tzu) ❤

Breaking unhealthy attachments will rebuild stronger connections

The truth can be found when we have the courage to follow our heart

Our questions lead us towards the answers

… she breathed deeply and her heart opened up to the love ❤

That was the last paragraph I wrote in my previous blog over a month ago. Since then Ive been sitting with many questions but spending less time in solitudinal contemplation and more time reconnecting with my family. Ive also been too deeply involved in my own thoughts and feelings to be able to find the time to put the experience into the right words. I only managed to gather a pile of scribbled notes, which were scattered here and there as important insights surfaced or when meaningful questions arose

The past month has been eventful on many levels, which is why its been too difficult to sit down and write on one particular content

Why ?

Because I’m taking steps towards making a pretty huge life change, which has set off that wonderful domino effect

But as new opportunities and possibilities started to present themselves I began to feel a resistance and tension in myself. I was experiencing a strong sense of fear and doubt along side my head / heart conflict, which only resolved when I finally decided to ditch the fear talking mind chatter and follow the love calling in my heart

In conversation recently someone asked me …

If you could pass on only one message … WHAT would it be ?

Shortly followed by another question by someone else …

WHAT lessons have you learned ?

Hmmmmmm

Interesting that my head / heart conflict involved a man

both questions were asked by men

some important and insightful conversations have been had with men

last nights irritations and break through were related to men

and the conversation that inspired me to write this was with my Dad

… obviously this is no coincidence

I was on the phone to my Dad, who was poking a little fun about the Goddess Makeover Ive introduced the women of our family to, which led to a very interesting chat. We both agree that only a fraction of our brains are used, but we both differed in opinions on whether our brain or heart was the key to unlocking other possibilities

Dad, like many others believes that our brain is the key …

I believe that are brains are BRILLIANT but that our heart holds the key to unlock the gates of our minds, which has the ability to OPEN us up to possibilities that we cant even imagine yet. This is why healing heart hurts and overcoming fears has been such a huge driving force behind my own intentions for change. Ive learned that we create the life we imagine by staying open, but that our hurting hearts and fearful minds keep us closed

Sharing this with my Dad led us towards a mind blowing conversation …

We spoke about how history has and continues to shape us … how we have seen the time of the matriarchal and patriarchal systems and now strive to find the balance of both, so that new paradigms can be created for the greater good

We spoke about the power players in society … how we are programmed to be the “followers” of royalty, politicians and religion because people power is feared. Those of us challenging the systems are considered to be a threat because our thinking serves to empower the people and bring balance, which serves to change or destroy current systems

We spoke about religion and spirituality … how religious labels separate us, but if we look at the core of every religion we find our connection to LOVE, FAITH and HOPE. That we have been programmed to idealize our religious / spiritual masters and mentors instead of seeing our own true reflection. We do this because we fear shining our light and unlocking our truest potential because we know it will bring forward other challenges

We spoke about truth … how there are only versions of truths based on our individual perceptions and experiences of it, which in itself is a truth to challenge and change all truths

We spoke about evolution based on our past, present and future … how in the past we were led by the power players, in the present we are led by the manipulators and that our future will be led by those who seek balance, connection and harmony

Hey Daddy your so fine, your so fine you BLOW my mind ☺☺☺

I do a lot of sharing about the important women in my life and I believe that sisterhood is something wonderful to be cherished

But, I equally value and cherish the important men in my life. I want to talk more openly about our conflicts and challenges because I believe that’s how we heal on a much deeper level. Considering the conflicts and tensions from the struggle of power within both matriarchal and patriarchal systems, it makes perfect sense why we then experience similar conflicts and tensions between male and females, which influences strongly upon our inner thoughts and feelings and therefore impacts upon our intimate relationships

I believe …

Its time to stop blaming one other because our hearts are hurting

Its time to find our own balance so we can seek balance with another

Its time to take complete responsibility for our own hearts, so that we can love ourselves and each other unconditionally

Its time to take complete responsibility for our own ego driven fears that chatter in our minds, so that we can stay open to other possibilities

 Its time to stop disconnecting  because we fear working through the discomfort

Its time to confront and overcome our darkest fears so we can heal our deepest hurts

Its time to accept the truth of who we are so that we can become all we can be ❤

She woke up on Mothers Day morning alone …

No husband holding her tenderly, waiting to greet her with a good morning kiss

No small children standing beside the bed with smiling eyes, waiting to be hugged

No one to hold onto as she reached out for the comfort of touch

… she exhaled and her heart retracted with hurts that still linger

Sometimes she gazes through the windows of the past with a sense of wonder

She wonders …

Why did the universe bring her a family destined to be broken apart ?

Why did her heart have to shatter into a thousand pieces many times over ?

Why hasn’t her life unfolded like others ?

then she listens…

Family, is about so much more than what we can see

Motherhood, is about so much more than what we think

Love, is about so much more than what we know

… she inhaled and her heart expanded with the possibilities of what if ?

Sometimes she gazes through the windows of the future with a sense of wonder

She wonders …

What if families fall apart because they are creating something new ?

What if hearts break open so the energy of love and light can flow ?

What if we are destined for more ?

then she listens …

Breaking unhealthy attachments will rebuild stronger connections

The truth can be found when we have the courage to follow our heart

Our questions lead us towards the answers

… she breathed deeply and her heart opened up to the love ❤

Something inside of us is dying

You ask, what is it ?

I tell you … your fears

I feel constricted, like a part of myself is disappearing

As if squeezing something out, to make way for something new

You ask, what is coming ?

I tell you … brace yourself for more love

As your thoughts change, I feel our body tingle with electricity

Toxins release

Making our body feel dizzy and nauseated

A feeling that gives you a headache ..

… and makes me feel anxious

You ask, how can we relieve it ?

I tell you … we cant because we must ride the wave

Trust in the process

You ask, where is it taking us ?

 I tell you … where we are meant to be

As your truth changes, so do the voices in your head

They tell you to hush now

That we are not alone

A presence that unnerves you and comforts me

You ask, who are they ?

I tell you … dont fear them

The voices of fear reflecting back from others are getting louder

As you scream for attention …

… while I quietly yearn to be heard

I ask, why must we fight ?

You tell me … I need to keep you safe

Each night you dream

First thrown into a lake, where we emerge transformed

Then dragged back into the darkness

And now a clear image of a dehydrated yellow rose

You ask, what does it mean ?

I tell you … life is changing

I sense him close

He swims through your thoughts

I feel his heart beating with mine

Time and distance seem irrelevant

Yet a sense of urgency propels us into change

You wonder, does he feel it too ?

I tell you … YES he does

You ask, why do you know this ?

I tell you … because we ARE love

Love is meant to flow between us

But your thoughts block the flow because you allow the fear to consume you

Fears that create more and more walls around me

Its the imprisonment that hurts

But …

… when you trust in me

Thoughts of love keep me open and we begin to feel and attract more love

You see my dear friend

We both need each other

Because TOGETHER we can change your world ❤

“Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it”

This tickles my funny bone, but there’s a seriousness about it that concerns me. Too many people move through life allowing the brain to be in complete control. As if she is the driver of our vehicle … IF you are thinking this, then …

WARNING : Your mind is in URGENT need of a software upgrade !!! 

This is an outdated belief that holds us back from living the life we imagine

Yes, our brains are beautiful, amazing and fucking magnificent creations BUT she’s programmed with a heap of data about the past. She makes choices by drawing upon information from all of our previous experiences. She navigates using old road maps, directing us towards choices and decisions that SHE thinks is safe for us, because she wants to protect us

But …

WHAT IF we no longer believe old roads can take us where we want to go ?

WHAT IF we no longer believe that the safer choices are the better choices ?

WHAT IF we want to go trail blazing and explore new roads and directions ?

WHAT IF we want to turn OFF the nav man in our heads ?

WHAT IF we believe tuning into our hearts will lead us to where we need to go ?

WHAT IF we decide to open up to spirit and allow the universe to guide us ?

Oh my lordy …

… then get ready to experience a whole lot of internal conflict

As our ego driven mind fights to stay in control of the vehicle. She does this because she loves us and wants so desperately to keep us safe from harm. Its been her job for so many years to keep the heart out of trouble. Shes the one who is forced to take control whenever our heart has convinced the mind to trust love and to follow her lead. Shes the one saying ” I told ya so” when our hearts have been broken. Shes the one left to clean up all the mess

But …

WHAT IF we no longer believe avoiding pain is what life is all about ?

WHAT IF we no longer believe that a broken heart is a bad thing ?

WHAT IF we need the hurt as much as we need the love to grow ?

WHAT IF we are learning that a broken heart is OPEN to receive more love ?

WHAT IF we are learning that experiences of pain are symptoms of blockages ?

WHAT IF we want to learn MORE about such things ?

Oh my lordy …

… then brace yourself for one heck of a ride because life is going to get very interesting. As our heart and mind start to learn how to steer the vehicle together as equal partners. The brain learning how to trust the heart, which will bring in more experiences of love. The heart learning how to appreciate the brain, which will unlock more creative potential

Hmmmmm …she ponders

Imagine the possibilities

Therefore, isn’t it logical to assume that if we are experiencing any internal tension and conflict between our own heart and mind … then we will also experience more tension and conflict with others ?

WHAT IF our external conflicts are directing us towards conflict within ourselves that need to be resolved ?

WHAT IF we have the ability to improve ALL of our relationships with others, by improving our relationship with our-self ?

WHAT IF choosing to follow our hearts and love our self first, isn’t selfish ?

WHAT IF loving our self has a greater purpose for the greater good ?

WHAT IF living the life we imagine is an essential part of changing our world ?

I believe that we will begin to live in more harmony with each other, only when we begin to live in more harmony with ourselves. A belief that continues to motivate me to explore my internal world as much as my external world

Shhhh … listen to YOUR heart ❤

What is she telling you ?