Tag: love

What habit do YOU want to change?

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EVERY day is another opportunity to do something better for ourselves

I want to improve my eating habits, but this process applies to any habit

What is my motivation for change?

  • To reduce my sugar and carb cravings – so I can feel better
  • To feel less fatigue, and more energised – so I can live my best creative life
  • To prevent ill health – so I can improve my quality of life

Having studied psychology, and changed many of my habitual behaviours, I know it’s about more than what I eat, that’s why I openly share my process of change with others. Creating new habits is about replacing an existing behaviour with a healthier one, and to change it – first, we need to acknowledge the habitual loop that keeps reinforcing an unhealthy habit.

I keep repeating the sugar craving loop, and to break it I need to manage my blood sugar levels, identify emotional triggers, and build new habits

  • CUE (trigger) – what initiates the behaviour?
  • ROUTINE (action) – what I do in response to the trigger
  • REWARD (positive reinforcement) – how does it make me feel?

For example – in the morning, which is when I mostly write, I wake up thinking “I need a coffee” to stimulate my brain, but it’s just a habit I’ve created. I actually want to do more than stimulate my brain into action, I want to get the energy flowing within me, so I can feel connected to my body – because it has something important to say about experiences I have (past and present).

Like my feet when they tell me to – take your shoes off and ground us, put your feet up to reduce this swelling, wear your shoes when you walk more than 30 minutes or we’ll hurt tomorrow, rub us because we’re aching and the blood needs to flow, wash us because you’ve been walking around barefoot all day.

Our body communicates with us all the time, and learning how to listen is the most important part of healing – because until we connect with our body, we can’t balance the energy, and we won’t align with our higher self.

This morning I intentionally changed my morning routine ..

BEFORE making myself a cup of coffee, I washed my face, and gave myself a quick lymphatic drainage massage while applying bio-oil to my face – because it felt so good, I continued to brush the rest of my body using sweeping strokes, which then prompted me to do a few stretches.

How did this small change in my routine make me feel?

Connected to my body, and so I made another healthy choice – while the kettle was boiling, I drank a glass of water with a squeeze of lemon, splash of cider vinegar, and honey added to it. After drinking it I felt my insides wake up, and within 10 minutes I felt better than I do after that first cup of coffee.

Isn’t it crazy that we don’t do the things we know are good for us.

I still drank a cup of coffee, but I must admit – it didn’t feel as satisfying because I had experienced the (+) reinforcement of a healthier routine.

AFTER drinking my coffee, I felt really good about myself, and I made a bowl of porridge with all the yummy additions (seeds, nuts, my homemade berry chia seed jam, honey, cinnamon and nutmeg), and I felt nurtured and nourished.

Can I maintain that change every morning?

YES I believe I can, but I still love buttery toast, and I’m not going to deny myself when I fancy it – because I’m changing my usual no carbs or sugar approach, to find a sense of moderation.

To make a change we need to have a clear plan …

  • What am I doing?
  • Why am I doing it?
  • How will I do it?

I’m working on changing my morning routine because I know from experience – it will make me feel good, and when I feel good, I make other good choices.

The contradictions of LIFE is the paradox of human experience …

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After standing on top of the metaphoric mountain yesterday, sharing star gazer insights, and tooting out of my own Capricorn horns. Sharing the wisdom of my soul, and the magick of my own medicine – I felt called to write as the Moon became her fullest this morning (9.56am) because I can also be a stupid goat.

My daughter said it best the other day, when my hormonal brain was struggling to string some words together in a logical sentence …

“Mam, you’re either all knowing and wise (or) ditsy as fuck,”

Followed by a soul sister telling me this morning …

“You’re so smart, you’re stupid.”

– and neither of them are wrong 🤣🤣🤣

But how wonderful to be truly seen, and loved deeply for who I really am.

I’ve always openly expressed the real me, and it isn’t always positive, nice, comfortable or beautiful – so many have witnessed the honesty of my imperfect SELF – the embarrassment of my humiliation, the flustering of my flaws, the stress of my internal chaos, the uncertainty of my curiosities, the anxiety of my fear, the frustration of my failure, and the shame of my fuckups.

Ironically, as the mythical Sea Goat – I have climbed many a mountain (both figuratively and literally speaking), but there’s nothing graceful or nimble about me, and even though I willingly dive into the darkest depths of my unconscious mind, I’m actually afraid of the ocean. Too scared to venture any further than knee deep in water (sea, lake or river), because that depth is shallow enough to still run away from anything that wants to drown, sting, bite or eat me.

Does that make me a cosmic mix up?

No, it just makes me human, and that’s why I don’t always make good choices.

Like last night – when I devoured another family block of Cadbury’s and felt like crap (obviously) because I have zero impulse control, and it got me thinking

If I was to pick an actor to play a character in my own story, who would it be?

So, for fun I asked Google A.I …

Which actor is a combination of Yoda and Bridget Jones

“An actor who perfectly balances the traits of Yoda’s ancient, cryptic wisdom with Bridget Jones’s neurotic, chaotic, and highly relatable romantic struggles would be a master of deadpan and emotional nuance. This mashup – an all-knowing sage who can’t stop obsessing over her calorie count, her love life, and whether she’s a “f***ing disaster” – demands a very specific kind of talent.” … so I am a talented woman afterall 🤣

Oliver Colman and Imelda Staunton were some suggestions to consider.

My writing is still a work in progress, but I haven’t lost sight of the vision of my BIG DREAM – to write something that someone will make into a movie, because I’ve already imagined it, and I realize the power of my imagination. Most things I’ve successfully created began as a vision in my mind, before it became a reality in the physical world – to be experienced.

Imagination is everything. It’s the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein

Like here, now in the cottage – I’ve imagined living this life amongst the trees, and it’s not the first time I’ve experienced it. I created some wonderful memories in a place aptly called – Heaven in the Hills, in a cottage named Gabriel’s rest when covid first broke out, but this time – energetically speaking, as I continue to write my story, it feels like I’ve planted myself here.

– to grow.

Planting ourselves somewhere to grow means – setting deep energetic roots in an environment that nourishes our spirit, and helps us to thrive.

I love it here for so many reasons, and I’m deeply grateful to be renting space from the woman who owns the land – a writer who inspires me, and a woman I hold in high regard – but it isn’t my forever home. Like other places, it called to me, and I’ve created a beautiful home here, but there will come a time in the future, when I’ll feel the call to leave – and I’ll BE somewhere else.

  • Perhaps that knowing helps me to feel less attached?
  • Maybe I don’t hold on anymore because loss has taught me so much?
  • Perhaps that’s how we learn to detach?

Nature reminds us – to grow, we need to be willing to let go of what we’ve outgrown, and that means letting go of things we once wanted, and sometimes what we needed, but nothing stays the same … including ourselves.

Under this FULL MOON I’ve been acknowledging what I’ve outgrown …

The habit (people pleasing to keep others comfortable), the job (working in aged care facilities), the relationship (a repeated pattern of self abandonment), the limiting belief (that my worth depends on something external to me) and the chapter (that compromised my value).

I’ve made some mis-takes over the years, but I’ve achieved so much more …

Most mothers say that our greatest creations are our children, and I agree wholeheartedly because I treasure all (3) of my children, but right or wrong, I wanted to do more than create a family – I’ve built a career, lived in many different houses, and created many beautiful homes. I’ve recreated my SELF many times over, and built a genuine reputation. I’ve created experiences, lived my wildest dreams, built skills, served communities, and found my tribe of trusted friends. I’m constantly building upon my knowledge, developing my character, and I’m creating my own legacy by living intentionally TODAY.

YES – I am devoted to my spiritual path, aligned with my genuine desires, and I’ll continue to climb this mountain (and many more) because I’m here to build a life that feels good for me, fully committed to being the best version of my SELF, and I feel supported to create the life I imagine is possible.

Yesterday, I shared the conversation occurring between Capricorn and Cancer, and after reflecting upon the questions being asked, I acknowledge – my eating habits need to change before Universe slaps me with a wake up call, because my body keeps telling me – I’m struggling to process too many carbs and sugars. Improving my eating habits will create other positive changes – more energy for outdoor activities and less screen time – more energy to create and less thinking about it.

I also acknowledge …

  • My relationship with Nature nurtures and nourishes me the most
  • I feel like home, so it doesn’t matter where I am or who I’m with, but being close to those who matter most to me makes that feeling grow stronger.
  • Being a full expression of my SELF makes me feel emotionally safe
  • Those (3) things support my growth.

YES – I am setting clearer boundaries in my life because experience has taught me – not everyone attracted to my light is good for me, and that’s how my energy is drained. The hormonal fluctuation of my transition from mother to crone (peri-menopause), and my lifestyle choices has a huge impact on my energy, so I’m paying attention, but I still make bad choices because like every other person in the world – I am a flawed human being.

So, this is me saying to YOU – embrace your own authentic journey because we are ALL complex creatures of contradiction, constantly balancing the dualities within us, and it’s not always easy, but it doesn’t make us any less beautiful.

I hope it offers some reassurance to know that you’re not alone in the struggle.

I see YOU ❤️

Perspective …

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Every now and then I share a post like this, and it’s usually when I’m gaining a new perspective.

This morning when I got out of bed, I looked in the mirror, and I smiled at the reflection looking back at me. As I write that it makes me think about a client I support with dementia. How she often smiles, has a little giggle, and says “I love you” at the reflection looking back at her, while she’s washing her hands at the bathroom sink. 😍

If only we could all see ourselves in that way, but at times we do. Like me, this morning, but it’s unrealistic and unreasonable to expect to feel that way all the time, because we don’t.

… and that’s OK

Our GREATEST challenge as human beings, is learning how to embrace ALL of who we are, so we can fully experience the present moment, no matter how uncomfortable or unpleasant it is.

Whether it’s how we are seeing ourselves, what we are thinking about another, how we are looking at a challenge we’re struggling with, or what we think the problem is …

Adjusting our focus helps ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

✨️️Internal perspective (how I think, feel, and react to an experience)

✨️External perspective (how others are experiencing it)

✨️Objective perspective (unbiased view of a shared experience)

Gaining the helicopter view of objectivity asks us to emotionally detach from an experience, but it’s not easy to remove the intensity of an emotion, especially when we are experiencing any form of pain.

Mind 🤯 Body 🤕 💔 or Spirit 🕳

… but what are those experiences teaching us?

It takes conscious effort, and courage to see the truth of reality in an objective way, without getting lost in the stories we tell ourselves.

That’s why our healing matters ✨️

I take photos at the same time from different angles like that, as a visual reminder – that we can be looking at the same thing, but be seeing something different – because it depends on our point of view, and what we choose to focus on.

Truth is, I am ALL those POV …

✨️Unflattering angle – captures my uglier side that I don’t want others to see.

✨️Realistic angle – captures my honest side that I’m most comfortable with.

✨️Complimentary angle – captures my better side that I prefer others see.

Whenever I’m shifting my point of view from a negative frame of mind, to a higher perspective it creates a shift in my energy that makes me think and feel differently.

… but its a process of change 🌀

When you have an itch … then scratch it.

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YES, I am being immature, but sometimes life can feel too serious, and we benefit from lighting the fuck up.

Statistically, there’s been a significant shift over the last two decades – with more unpartnered people in the world. In my humble opinion, the dating apps have contributed because the design is flawed. More option creates a casual approach to what we refer to as ‘the dating game,’ disrubpting the potential for stability, and exposing more situationships than creating successful matches for long term relationship.

… but that’s a blog for another time.

Women adjust to living alone, and we can be innovative and creative. Most of us have family and friends to fullfill our emotional needs, and some of us have a variety of toys to satisfy our sexual needs. More women are embracing and exploring their sexuality, regardess of their relationship status, but I may have reached another stage of my life.

… or perhaps it’s the men – oh – pause 🤣

Because the tools I use most to scratch an itch, and relieve tension these days have changed form, but lets be honest, it’s just another version of cock n’ balls.

Yup, it tickles my funny bone, but the spaghetti spoon, and balls are amazing tools that serve more than their intended or recommended purpose.

When my feet are in need of a foot rub, I roll my feet over the spiky ball on the floor. It feels fucking fabulous, and it also helps to relieve the plantar fasciitis I get after walking /standing too long.

When I need a massage, I push against the tennis ball on a wall. Like a bear scratching on a tree, it’s a great way to work out the knots and tension.

When my back is itching and I can’t reach it, I use the spaghetti scoop to scratch it. Gotta laugh because I notice the spag scoop even as the eye.

On a serious note, I do enjoy the peace of my solitudinal bliss because I’ve created a beautiful home, and living a wonderful life, but I still feel lonely at times, and I yearn for romance and intimacy, but I’m just not ready. I feel pleasure from so many other things, and life fullfills me, but I don’t judge myself for feeling how I feel.

Whenever those sexual urges do begin to flow, and I’m feeling lonesome, telling myself that I want or need to be in a relationship, I reach for other tools, and the feeling usually passes 🤣

The comfort zone …

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I like this image of the comfort zone by Tom Senninger because it’s a great visual of the process. We ALL feel comfortable sitting on our arse at home, especially in a conflicting world, but “All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone” (Tony Robbins)

For (9) years I lived out of the comfort zone. Like a gypsy, I moved back and forth between the UK and Australia, drifting in and out of other peoples lives, unsure where I belonged.

I learned so much from those experiences, but shifting from drifting (seeking experiences to learn and grow from) to settling back into the comfort zone (embracing stillness) was equally challenging because I’m not the same woman I once was.

  • Routine felt boring
  • Structure felt restrictive
  • Staying still felt stifling
  • Stability felt stagnant
  • Settling felt wrong

Ironically, but not surprisingly the comfort zone didn’t feel comfortable anymore. I was afraid of stepping back into an old version of myself that no longer fit, and I experienced what psychology defines as “a transitional identity crisis.” A realization that helped me to understand some of my struggles.

During those (9) years out of the comfort zone I experienced detachment from those I love most, I lost my parents, and a soul sister to cancer. I fell in love with men who couldn’t fully meet me, and I let them all go, but I never lost love.

Grief and loss challenged me to be in a constant state of transition.

What did I learn?

Living out of the comfort zone builds resilience, but adaptation isn’t always a (+) experience. Adjusting our behaviours, thoughts, and emotions in response to new, uncertain, or unfamiliar situations is essential to thrive, but some environments will trigger us to compromise ourselves, and we will learn and grow the most from those inner conflicts.

There’s a story to be told about why I lost my SELF in someone else’s story, and how I began to reclaim the narrative, but it’s taken time to reconnect with MY truth, regain a sense of balance, realign with my personal values, integrate the lessons, rebuild my own life, redesign the comfort zone, and reframe the return into comfort, as deepening my roots.

Feeling more settled has provided me with a safe space to notice with greater clarity – which habits are truly comforting, what hinders my growth, and when my choices have been self destructive – acknowledging how many times I compromised my needs to prioritize another.

As women, so many of us are guilty of this ☝️🤨

The discomfort of that truth has shifted something within me. My head and heart are finally in alignment, and my soul no longer feels restless … because I am home ✨️

My kinda spiritual practice …

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There’s so much about living a gypsy life I miss, and being infront of an open fire in Nature is one of them. Building a fire outside makes me feel connected to my ancestoral roots, it ignites my inner flame, uplifts my spirit, and brings immense joy to my heart.

We live in a world of convenience, and its much quicker and easier to plug a kettle in, but when I use electricity I miss an opportunity to connect in this way. So, this is one way I am consciously slowing down this Winter.

A simple act of boiling water in my copper kettle, over an open flame, on a cold morning, while the sun rises is priceless, and it reminds me that happiness is something we create.

… but it’s natural to feel unhappy in loss.

To be honest, sometimes I feel frustrated with myself, but healing doesn’t have a timeline, and it’s a deeply personal experience. I’ve been rebuilding my life, re-engaging with systems that challenge me, reconnecting with MY truth, rebalancing conflicting energy, healing a disregulated nervous system, and realigning with my spiritual self.

It takes patience … and lotsa practice.

Healing an abandonment wound isn’t about finding someone who stays … it’s learning how NOT to abandon ourselves in relationship with another.

Healing a beytral wound isn’t about being with someone who won’t betray our trust … it’s learning how to trust our own intuitive guidance.

Maintaining healthier boundaries has been essential to my healing process, so I can fully appreciate if or when others need to detach and disconnect themselves from me. I still feel the LOVE ❤️ but someone’s presence in our lives is determined by the choices we make, and how we make each other feel.

As I continue to learn from the past, feel more present in the moments, and imagine a better future, the collision of realities feel less confusing, because I understand the purpose of each timeline, and can give it meaning.

That’s how I grow from my experiences.

Oh, I still get the wobbles whenever I’m triggerd because I can still be a beautiful hot mess, but I am no less divine in my human expression of my true SELF.

I feel supported and guided by an energy with many names (Universe, Nature, God/Goddess, spirit, soul, Divine Mother and Father, Sacred feminine and masculine). An energy I consciously choose to connect with because it serves my highest good, and therefore the GREATER GOOD OF ALL.

Truth is … life will ALWAYS have its challenges, but with or without a significant other, my life continues to be a wonderful adventure ✌️😍

Breaking the habit of seeking a lover …

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According to the Gregorian calendar, winter doesn’t officially begin until June, but Nature tells us when she’s ready to change, and winter has arrived.

Can you feel the shift ?

Seasonal shifts influence our mood and energy because of the weather changes – Less sunshine alters our internal body clock, and regardless of our gender, we ALL feel the effects of shifting hormone levels – Less daylight lowers serotonin and dopamine (destabilizing our moods), and increases melatonin (making us feel like sleeping more).

As a 52 year old perimenopausal woman I’ve been navigating hormonal shifts for a while now, because the “change of life” is a process, and it can take up to 8 fucking years, which is why it’s ALWAYS about the journey.

During the winter months …

Embracing our natural instinct to slow down, and turn inwards can help us to adjust our daily routines, so we can prevent burn out, but we live in a world that keeps demanding more from us. That’s why honoring our need to slow down is a deeply grounding rebellion.

What am I learning on MY hormonal journey?

“Stay away from arseholes,” was my automatic response, and it’s absolutely spot on because we have less tolerance for the bullshit we are often served.

As progesterone and oestrogen fluctuate, our capacity for stress diminishes, and our nervous system becomes hyper sensitive. That’s why women of a certain age stop tolerating disrespectful behaviour, choosing not to engage in the chaos of drama.

As we learn, heal, mature and grow we become more responsive to the intuitive guidance of our gut instincts, instead of feeling torn between the timeless dilemma of our inner conflicts – our head (logic) and the heart (emotional desire). We value our time and energy because we know our worth, and life has become even more precious to us.

This isn’t just a life lesson … it’s a neurological shift.

I’m less resistive to change because my growth game is strong, but spiritual growth demands honesty, and that still challenges me when my consciousness shifts, as I become more self aware of my own patterns of behaviour.

As a single woman with a healthy appetite for life, food and sex, I usually seek the company of a lover, even when I’m not ready to commit to a relationship. I notice how I usually crave the warmth of a lover more during the cooler months, and I feel no shame in admitting that, but my soul wants more than the warmth of a body, and thanks to perimenopause my passion is on a slow burn, so my priorities have shifted.

To anchor my energy, and deepen the spiritual roots that ground me into the present moment.

I’m not seeking a lover because I don’t have an itch that needs scratching, there is no tension that needs relief. I don’t need anything that’s missing from me. I no longer need resolution from others because I don’t need validation, nothing feels inccomplete, and there is no hole in my life that needs filling (interpret that as you will).

I am whole – but I am ALWAYS becoming.

My sexual and creative energy is sacred, and in the past I’ve shared it with others too freely because I am open to love – and I’ve suffered the consequences of my choices – but I have learned

YES … I do desire to be in a relationship with another – to share, to create, to build and to grow together – but I acknowledge that I’m not ready for the imbalance a new relationship brings when two energies and lives merge.

So, I’m focusing on the relationship I have with my SELF – honouring my truth (the good, the bad, and the indifference), acknowledging the patterns of my own behaviour, releasing what I’ve outgrown, and aligning my energy to manifest a deeply fulfilling relationship in the future – with a trustworthy partner because I deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone who can fully meet me.

This winter I won’t be seeking the warmth of a lover, I’ll be …

♥️Feeling cozy in my sanctuary from the cold
♥️Slowing down to enjoy life’s simple pleasures
♥️Wrapping myself up in soft blankets
♥️Nurturing my ideas and inspirations
♥️Working on my creative projects
♥️Connecting with spirit
♥️Doing some arts and crafts
♥️Enjoying the company of family and friends
♥️Lighting fires under the nights sky
♥️Caring for and supporting others
♥️Creating atmospheric ambience with lighting
♥️Preparing garden beds for Spring
♥️Walking slowly in Nature
♥️Taking more naps with my pussy-cat
♥️Curling up on the couch with a good book
♥️Watching stuff I like on the TV
♥️Losing and finding myself in stories
♥️Cooking and baking wholesome foods
♥️Playing music, singing songs and dancing
♥️Wearing fluffy socks and beautiful scarfs
♥️Soaking in warm bubble baths by candle light
♥️Warming my belly with a nip of whiskey
♥️Indulging my senses and soothing my soul

There’s plenty to LOVE about being single during the winter months✌️😍

Reflection in rhyme …

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Sipping on my morning cuppa,
I tune IN to my senses.
A simple act of meditation,
that makes me feel the presence of NOW.

What do I see?

The colour green is everywhere,
and all around me,
with splashes of colour.
Shades of red, orange, pink, and yellow.

The forever blooming bergonia, and grevillea,
are attracting the pretty birds and bees.
The native blossom orchid, and banksia brush,
are attracting the beautiful butterflies.

The sky is full of dense grey clouds,
and the dewy drops look like water pearls,
as they glisten under a silvery sky.

The sun is neither bright, nor warm today,
he’s a day-lit moon, and a silvery shadow,
that feels enchanting.

A reminder …

The approaching NEW MOON in Taurus,
is inviting us to reflect upon our intentions.

What do I hear?

Birds are singing while they chitter chatter,
and the bees are buzzing from flower to flower.
The chooks are clucking to the left of me,
and the traffic is humming to the right,
In the distance I hear a dog bark,
and his neighbours are responding in chorus.
The snort of a horse makes me smile,
suggesting he disapproves of their conversation.

I take a sip from my new cup,
and read the words.
I LOVE YOU MUM ♥️

My attention shifts …

To the thoughts and the stories,
that take me to the past, and into the future.
As they collide into the present moment,
I become the bridge of inbetween.

The compression point 💫

A conscious link that transforms memories,
and possibilities into reality.

What lessons have I learned from the past?
How will I bring them forward into the future?

No longer negotiating my hopes and dreams,
I’m focusing on long term personal development, and sustainable spiritual growth,
built on heart centred devotion.

My spiritual roots have grown a strong spine,
and my energy feels deeply grounded.

A connection that anchors me ⚓️

No longer drifting through other people’s lives,
I’m building my own foundations,
but life continues to challenge me to change,
and universe is responding to who I am.

Under this NEW MOON, I declare …

✨️I am the creator of my own experiences

✨️I am grateful for my family and friends

✨️I am always guided and supported

✨️I am the best version of my SELF

✨️I am living a fullfilling life of abundance

✨️I am worthy of my hopes and dreams

✨️I am loved, I am lovable, and I am LOVE

As it IS, so mote it BE 💫

NEW MOON in Aries

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According to star gazers, the fiery energy of an Aries New Moon (17th) will feel like it’s pushing us forward, even if we’ve been sitting in the same place for a while, because of it’s conjunction with other planets.

  • Chiron (the wounded healer – healing)
  • Eris (the disruptor of norms – change)
  • Mercury (the messenger – communication)
  • Mars (the warrior of action – desire)
  • Saturn (the task master and boundary keeper – discipline)
  • Neptune (the dreamer and mystic – vision)

This month’s planetary alignment acts as a catalyst for deep spiritual reflection, radical self honesty, the release of old patterns, and the end of a karmic cycle because we’ve already stepped into a new timeline. It’s the initiation of a new chapter in self-assertion, personal value, and emotional courage.

The FIRE HORSE is making it’s presence known …

Activating what we’ve been through, and what we’ve healed from so we can see ourselves in a new light because we have grown.

  • What was unfolding for YOU as NEW MOON approached?
  • What is Universe showing you?
  • What stories are coming up to be acknowledged?
  • What thoughts are arising to be processed?
  • What e-motions are flowing to be felt?
  • What energy is shifting for YOU?

For me, its been challenging me to see beyond the projections, but unresolved conflict, unhealed wounds and sacred rage wants to be witnessed.

“Seeing beyond projection is an invitation, to move from reacting to the mirror of the outside world, to witness the inner landscape of the self, but it requires courage to look at the shadow.” because even if it’s within another, we will still see ourselves looking back.

On the 15th, I woke with a runny nose, sinus congestion, headache, and fatigue.

The changing of seasons, and fluctuation in temperature trigger changes that allow viruses to flourish, and spread more easily, but symptoms are our body’s way of communicating with us, so I lean IN with a little more curiosity.

Metaphysically, cold and flu symptoms represent a need to slow down, so we can process emotional and mental congestion, and clear energetic blocks.

  • Congestion – too much going on at once (mentally and emotionally)
  • Headache – tension, overthinking, a call to reconnect with the body
  • Runny nose/eyes – processing sadness, grief, unmet need for comfort
  • Fever – burning off negativity, anger, invasion of our energetic space
  • Cough/sore throat – unspoken words, supressed emotion, awakening of the spirit, and the clearing of energy
  • Aches/chills – mental contraction, resisting change, overwhelm
  • Fatigue – profound soul level reconstructuring

We live in a world that expects us to push through, regardless of how we feel.

The “soldier on with codral” is reflective of more than symptom management, it’s a systemic issue that prioritizes productivity over our individual health and well being. Ignoring and disregarding our own physical, mental and/or emotional needs to meet external demands, keep the peace, and maintain harmony is basically telling ourselves that our health and wellbeing doesn’t matter … but it should matter the most to us.

The stresses of life are constant, but when we are feeling unwell …

  • Our body is forcing us to REST, and break the cycle of doing
  • Asking us to detox – emotional processing of mind/body/spirit
  • To surrender control, accept care, and renew our personal values

Instead of managing my symptoms to maintain work responsibilities, I called in sick because I don’t want to share the bug with those I care for, and although it will have a financial impact, my priorities are right for me.

TRUE WEALTH … IS OUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING !!!

Like most accomplished women (perceive that as you will), I’ve often pushed myself too hard to prove the value of my worth. I’ve learned many of my lessons the hard way, but I’ve grown the most from those experiences challenging me to change, because I’m here to learn about healing, and my growth game is strong.

“Maybe you don’t notice your progress because you’re always raising your bar.”

Yesterday morning (16th) I awoke from sleep thinking …

Since settling down and being more honest with myself, I’ve acknowledged the projections I’ve unconsciously internalized from others, and how and why it’s had an impact on my confidence and self worth.

Internalized projection happens when we absorb, and accept another person’s unwanted emotions, insecurities, judgments, or self-doubts as our own truth.

I recall …

  • How many times I’ve been told that I want and expect TOO much, by those settling for less because of their resistance to change.
  • How often I’ve been judged and criticised, by those who misunderstand me because they don’t accept their fears, faults, and flaws.
  • How many ways I’ve been told that I am not enough, by those reflecting their own limitations and insecurities.
  • How often I’ve been told I am crazy and foolish, by those denying their own shortcomings and failings.

“Projection is an unconscious defence mechanism to protect the ego, but it can also be a unconscious or conscious manipulation tactic to control the narrative,” 

… but we don’t reclaim our power by fighting shadows.

We change the narrative by turning on the light, and becoming conscious.

I can forgive others for projecting their truth onto me, but I’ll never forget how it made me feel, and forgiving ourselves for projecting onto others (especially those we love and value) is more challenging because it triggers the guilt, blame and shame stories, that trigger a deeper memory.

“The collective memory is a shared, often unconscious, psychological archive holding onto systemic stories, historical trauma, moral failures, and structural injustices. A memory that shapes the collective identity, influencing how we perceive our worth and our relationship to others.“

It’s a silent dialogue between the past and present I’m often aware of.

People project onto others to protect themselves from uncomfortable emotions, negative thoughts, or undesirable traits they can’t accept in themselves (the shadow), but we are ALL mirrors and reflections for each other.

What you see in me is a reflection of you ..

Because what we judge or appreciate in another already exists within us.

After witnessing the thoughts upon awakening from my sleep yesterday morning, I got out bed, put the kettle on, rubbed some more vicks on my chest, and I made a cuppa. While putting the cream back into the fridge it slipped from my hand, spilt onto the floor, and the thought popped into my mind.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk” …

A proverb: dwelling on our mis-takes and mis-fortunes is pointless because it’s already happened, and can’t be reversed. Reminding us to focus on the present and future, rather than wasting our energy on unchangeable past events.

I couldn’t help but smile when Lilith wandered over to lick up the cream

“Like the cat that got the cream” …

A proverb: the satisfaction of being pleased with ourselves because we’ve been validated in some way, shape or form, success has been achieved, we got what we wanted, or we’ve done something that we are proud of.

No, I’m not feeling smug, but I no longer doubt the value of my worth. I am grateful for my conversations with spirit because it’s triggered a much deeper NEW MOON reflection. I haven’t and don’t always get what I want, but I am proud of myself because my intentions are in alignment with my higher self, and that’s for the Greater Good of ALL, but I won’t abandon my SELF.

This NEW MOON is intense and transformative …

  • Start something you’ve been putting off
  • Choose yourself without overthinking it
  • Take action towards something you feel pulled towards
  • Let go of hesitation and doubt

This NEW MOON is a potent time for shadow work …

  • Where have you been overcommitting or over compromising?
  • Where have you been self editing to keep the peace?
  • Where have you been prioritizing harmony over your own truth?

Every NEW MOON is an opportunity to plant the seeds of our intention …

  • What are you no longer carrying forward from the past?
  • What are you calling in from the future?
  • Who are you on the other side?

I’ve been RESTING, and I feel healthier for it, but I’ve also been reflecting because that’s the inner work I value, and I share my insights for those who are open to see themselves, and their experiences differently.

Under this NEW MOON I declare who I am, and why I have grown, what is mine, and what is no more because what we meet within ourselves during this time will shape what comes next …

The influence of a NEW MOON in Pisces before the EQUINOX

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We’ve just experienced the final NEW MOON of the astrological year (18th March) before yesterday’s EQUINOX (20th March), and Mercury is now out of retrograde … but what does this mean?

Planetary energies have been a little intense, shifting us from a state of confusion to clarity, and transitioning through our conflicting feelings has been challenging us to stay present, because holding opposing emotional states simultaneously causes mental tension, and makes us feel exhausted.

In psychology we call this COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

This internal conflict triggers the ego (our sense of self) because the contradiction forces us to confront an inconsistency that feels threatening, but accepting the complexity of contradiction is a natural part of our humanity.

YES, we can feel both despair & hope, love & hate, sorrow & joy simultaneously because it’s two sides of the same coin, but learning how to accept the paradox without judgement is our biggest challenge.

Many of us are swinging between the darkness and light because the world is being thrown into a familiar “pandemic” story, and the threat of a crisis during a time of war is triggering the masses again, but we are moving beyond the trigger.

Are YOU feeling anxious because of global uncertainty?

  • Limit media exposure because this feeds anxiety
  • Reading the news activates less fear than watching video footage
  • Focus on what you can control and change
  • Prioritize self care to regulate your nervous system

What is the significance of an EQUINOX?

There are only two times of the year when the Earth’s axis is tilted neither toward, nor away from the sun, resulting in 12 hours of daylight and darkness in both the southern and the northern hemispheres. The equinox is a rare, fleeting moment of equilibrium in a world that is always tilting, and it reminds us that true balance involves constant, small adjustments to maintain stability, as we manage shifts in energy.

To feel balanced we need to embrace duality

The NEW MOON in Pisces invited us into the depths, so we could experience the balance of opposing forces within, and what that means for us will depend upon the stories we are telling ourselves.

  • Are you feeling the push and the pull?
  • Do you feel the urge to pursue, but need to be still?
  • Do you want to fight for what you believe in, but need to protect your peace?

Integrating the polarity is shifting from either/or thinking to a both/and mindset, by recognizing that interdependent pairs (poles) must be balanced over time, and not chosen between. Acknowledging that opposing forces are necessary for wholistic functioning is a well known Chinese concept.

The Yin and Yang perspective argues that true balance isn’t found in eliminating the tension of polarity, but integrating these complementary opposites to create a functional whole.

According to star gazers, the emotional depths of Pisces offered us an opportunity to release old patterns, heal old wounds, and set intentions based on our intuitive guidance, but sometimes it can feel like we’re going around and around in circles … but it’s all a matter of perspective.

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Healing resembles a spiral because we often return to old emotional ground with more insight, but unlearning our fear driven habits requires constant effort, and that’s why healing is a daily practice, and an ongoing process.

Truth is, most of our struggle is an internal experience, and we all get stuck in mental loops and repetitive cycles that don’t serve us because “the ego maintains these cycles by ruminating over past events (trauma re-enactment) or obsessing over future uncertainties to protect its fixed sense of identity.” 

The ego will always prioritize a sense of control, familiar patterns and self preservation over growth or peace.

That’s the patriarchal world we’ve been conditioned in, and it’s the crisis driven world we are currently living in, but the rise of the matriarch (divine feminine) is shaking things up … and she’s ON PURPOSE !!

This isn’t just about women because the sacred masculine and the divine feminine energies are the universal forces within us all, regardless of our gender

The brain has been hard wired for survival, and the ego clings to familiar patterns and cycles because it needs to protect our self image (to be right, strong, smart and successful), but this state of mind creates separation, inner conflict and resistance because it defends, blames, and rationalizes.

Our challenge is to acknowledge this inner struggle within us.

So, if YOU are feeling stuck in a mental loop (or) you find yourself repeating the same experiences because you’re not learning the lessons, then ask yourself …

  • What story am I telling myself?
  • Why do I believe this?
  • What has been triggering me IN?
  • What has been revealed and realized?
  • What am I learning from this?

For me, it’s been the same old conflict of holding on and letting, and an upsetting story about my value and worth, but each time I return to this story (whether it be in the past, present or future tense) something else is revealed. Every time I revisit the same emotional theme, I see it from a higher vantage point or with deeper awareness.

I’m learning how to live within the question …

To have patience with unresolved issues, and allow them to co-exist rather than seeking a resolution, but as I move between the stress of holding on and the peace of letting go, I’m also learning how to flow between both states of mind with less resistance, and I notice how strong emotion activates the mental loops of my negative thought patterns. Without my usual avoiding behaviours, it’s been taking me even deeper, and I notice how the survival state of mind activates the fight and flight response in my body, which releases those stress hormones that create feelings of anxiety, fear and sadness.

As I sit with those feelings, I notice the stories emerging, and I’ve been paying attention to the conversations because they’ve been giving me insight into my inner struggle. Acknowledging how traumatic experiences, significant loss, and life changing events have been challenging me to rewire my nervous system.

… but why?

Unconscious psychological and emotional trauma roots itself into the collective as a shared human experience, and it stems from our individual challenges of loss, and historical systemic ruptures, that shape our self worth. The trauma may be acute, chronic, complex or collective, and the story may be differ (neglect, abuse, domestic violence, assault, bullying, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, accident, stress, distress, slavery, genocide, racism, natural disaster, loss or separation to name a few), but the struggle is the same, and it has a lasting impact on the nervous system.

For me, the trauma is complex …

That’s why writing and sharing my story has been an important part of my healing process, but the vulnerability of my sensitivities, traumas, and desires have created a power imbalance.

In my solitude, I’m learning how to feel safe and secure …

  • Creating a safe environment and learning healthier ways to regulate my emotions
  • Processing memories and grieving the losses associated with the trauma
  • Rebuilding a new sense of self and restoring trust in others
  • Finding deeper meaning and higher purpose for my life

In my solitude, I’m also learning about the pattern …

How I still feel the need to reconnect and reconcile, and I’m conscious of how I’ve unconsciously RE-ENACTED the same experience over and over again with the same ending.

According to Shamanic theory …

  • Whoever comes … is the right person
  • Whenever it starts … is the right time
  • Wherever it happens … is the right place
  • Whatever happens … is the only thing that could have happened
  • When its over … it’s finished

There are NO wrong paths in life because everything happens as it should, so the shudda, cudda, wudda thinking is pointless.

“Nature chooses problem-solving over pleasure to keep us alive, making “peace” something that we must be actively be managing rather than a natural default state.” 

To break the mental loop of your unhelpful thoughts …

  • Be fully present in the moment … stop avoiding your SELF
  • Reconnect with your truth … we have to feel it to heal it
  • Label the unhelpful thought … and acknowledge it’s presence
  • Practice mindfulness … BE present by focusing on your senses
  • Self compassion … suspend judgement and be kind to yourself
  • Radical acceptance … stop fighting the reality of what IS
  • Move your body … to disrupt the mental loop

Most importantly know your worth and value yourself

RECLAIM the narrative and own your story ✨✍️