Didn’t really feel like getting up out of bed to make fire this morning, but the resistance we feel is what a meditative practice is designed to work through, and showing up on those days is when we are doing the “practice.”

I’m half way through a writing workshop, and its giving me plenty of inspiration, but I haven’t started editing my first draft yet.

My emotions are flowing, as if a cycle is coming, but the womb is incubating stories, and making fire feels part of the creative process. Watching the flames helps to shift something within me, and it doesn’t take long for the energy to move me from the couch.

I like this image of the comfort zone by Tom Senninger because it’s a great visual of the process. We ALL feel comfortable sitting on our arse at home, especially in a conflicting world, but “All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone” (Tony Robbins)

For (9) years I lived out of the comfort zone. Like a gypsy, I moved back and forth between the UK and Australia, drifting in and out of other peoples lives, unsure where I belonged.

I learned so much from those experiences, but shifting from drifting (seeking experiences to learn and grow from) to settling back into the comfort zone, taking root (embracing stillness) was equally challenging because I’m not the same woman I once was.

• Routine felt boring
• Structure felt restrictive
• Staying still felt stifling
• Stability felt stagnant
• Settling felt wrong for me

Ironically, but not surprisingly the comfort zone didn’t feel comfortable anymore, and I was afraid of stepping back into an old version of myself that no longer fit, and I experienced what psychology defines as “a transitional identity crisis.” A realization that helped me to understand my greatest struggles.

During those (9) years out of the comfort zone I experienced detachment from those I love most, I lost my parents, and a soul sister to cancer. I fell in love with men who couldn’t fully meet me, and I let them all go, but I never lost love.

Grief and loss challenged me to be in a constant state of transition, and it’s taken time to feel the benefits of my personal growth, because healing is an ongoing process, and a daily practice.

What did I learn during those (9) years?

Living out of the comfort zone builds resilience, but adaptation isn’t always a (+) experience. Adjusting our behaviours, thoughts, and emotions in response to new, uncertain, or unfamiliar situations is essential to thrive, but some environments will trigger us to compromise ourselves, and we will learn and grow the most from those inner conflicts.

There’s a story to be told about why I lost my SELF in someone else’s story, and how I began to reclaim the narrative, but it’s taken time to reconnect with MY truth, regain a sense of balance, realign with my personal values, integrate the lessons, rebuild my own life, redesign the comfort zone, and reframe the return into comfort, as deepening my roots.

Feeling more settled has provided me with a safe space to notice with greater clarity – which habits are truly comforting, what hinders my growth, and when I’ve been self destructive.

Perhaps that’s the story my soul wants to write?