Tag: mental-health

The comfort zone …

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I like this image of the comfort zone by Tom Senninger because it’s a great visual of the process. We ALL feel comfortable sitting on our arse at home, especially in a conflicting world, but “All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone” (Tony Robbins)

For (9) years I lived out of the comfort zone. Like a gypsy, I moved back and forth between the UK and Australia, drifting in and out of other peoples lives, unsure where I belonged.

I learned so much from those experiences, but shifting from drifting (seeking experiences to learn and grow from) to settling back into the comfort zone (embracing stillness) was equally challenging because I’m not the same woman I once was.

  • Routine felt boring
  • Structure felt restrictive
  • Staying still felt stifling
  • Stability felt stagnant
  • Settling felt wrong

Ironically, but not surprisingly the comfort zone didn’t feel comfortable anymore. I was afraid of stepping back into an old version of myself that no longer fit, and I experienced what psychology defines as “a transitional identity crisis.” A realization that helped me to understand some of my struggles.

During those (9) years out of the comfort zone I experienced detachment from those I love most, I lost my parents, and a soul sister to cancer. I fell in love with men who couldn’t fully meet me, and I let them all go, but I never lost love.

Grief and loss challenged me to be in a constant state of transition.

What did I learn?

Living out of the comfort zone builds resilience, but adaptation isn’t always a (+) experience. Adjusting our behaviours, thoughts, and emotions in response to new, uncertain, or unfamiliar situations is essential to thrive, but some environments will trigger us to compromise ourselves, and we will learn and grow the most from those inner conflicts.

There’s a story to be told about why I lost my SELF in someone else’s story, and how I began to reclaim the narrative, but it’s taken time to reconnect with MY truth, regain a sense of balance, realign with my personal values, integrate the lessons, rebuild my own life, redesign the comfort zone, and reframe the return into comfort, as deepening my roots.

Feeling more settled has provided me with a safe space to notice with greater clarity – which habits are truly comforting, what hinders my growth, and when my choices have been self destructive – acknowledging how many times I compromised my needs to prioritize another.

As women, so many of us are guilty of this ☝️🤨

The discomfort of that truth has shifted something within me. My head and heart are finally in alignment, and my soul no longer feels restless … because I am home ✨️

My kinda spiritual practice …

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There’s so much about living a gypsy life I miss, and being infront of an open fire in Nature is one of them. Building a fire outside makes me feel connected to my ancestoral roots, it ignites my inner flame, uplifts my spirit, and brings immense joy to my heart.

We live in a world of convenience, and its much quicker and easier to plug a kettle in, but when I use electricity I miss an opportunity to connect in this way. So, this is one way I am consciously slowing down this Winter.

A simple act of boiling water in my copper kettle, over an open flame, on a cold morning, while the sun rises is priceless, and it reminds me that happiness is something we create.

… but it’s natural to feel unhappy in loss.

To be honest, sometimes I feel frustrated with myself, but healing doesn’t have a timeline, and it’s a deeply personal experience. I’ve been rebuilding my life, re-engaging with systems that challenge me, reconnecting with MY truth, rebalancing conflicting energy, healing a disregulated nervous system, and realigning with my spiritual self.

It takes patience … and lotsa practice.

Healing an abandonment wound isn’t about finding someone who stays … it’s learning how NOT to abandon ourselves in relationship with another.

Healing a beytral wound isn’t about being with someone who won’t betray our trust … it’s learning how to trust our own intuitive guidance.

Maintaining healthier boundaries has been essential to my healing process, so I can fully appreciate if or when others need to detach and disconnect themselves from me. I still feel the LOVE ❤️ but someone’s presence in our lives is determined by the choices we make, and how we make each other feel.

As I continue to learn from the past, feel more present in the moments, and imagine a better future, the collision of realities feel less confusing, because I understand the purpose of each timeline, and can give it meaning.

That’s how I grow from my experiences.

Oh, I still get the wobbles whenever I’m triggerd because I can still be a beautiful hot mess, but I am no less divine in my human expression of my true SELF.

I feel supported and guided by an energy with many names (Universe, Nature, God/Goddess, spirit, soul, Divine Mother and Father, Sacred feminine and masculine). An energy I consciously choose to connect with because it serves my highest good, and therefore the GREATER GOOD OF ALL.

Truth is … life will ALWAYS have its challenges, but with or without a significant other, my life continues to be a wonderful adventure ✌️😍

Once in a Blue Moon …

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Blue Moon 31st May 2026

Full moons have an illuminating energy on the psyche, and this months Blue Moon is illuminating what’s been rippling beneath the surface for too long. To shine a light on how we keep going around in circles, or telling ourselves the same thing … but nothing actually ever really changes.

“Information isn’t transformation“

This months cycle is slightly out of rhythm because there are (2) Full Moons this month, and they call it a Blue Moon because they don’t occur often. Rare moons alter the rhythm, and when the rhythm changes, some of us see it as an energetic portal. According to star gazers, the Sagittarius Blue Moon isn’t asking us who we were, but if we are ready to BE who we were always meant to become, by bringing our attention to what breaks the pattern.

My Reflection …

During the previous Full Moon in Scorpio I was shown – what continues to return still holds power, and the returning Full Moon in Sagittarius is telling me – growth can’t happen if I remain emotionally attached to an old version of myself – under this Blue Moon, I’m detaching from emotional cycles, releasing chapters that have already ended, and stepping out of timelines I’ve outgrown.

“Not everything is meant to continue just because it’s existed for a long time.”

“Scorpio asked us to face what we’ve been avoiding – Sagittarius is asking us to imagine what’s on the other side of it – because we can’t believe in our future while clinging to the past, and we can’t let go of the past without walking towards something – We are being asked to hold the letting go (grief) and believing (hope) at the same time, trusting they are part of the same answer.

This Full Moon is asking us – are certain people, patterns, responsibilities, environments, or emotional dynamics nourishing your soul? Do you feel more protective of your peace, more aware of energetic depletion, less willing to over extend yourself emotionally, more sensitive to imbalance, and more conscious of how your energy expands and contracts?

The soul is recognising what can and can’t continue forward, and this Blue Moon is helping us to see why we struggle to LET GO

  • What is challenging you to change?
  • How are you deceiving your SELF?
  • What story has rooted deep in the psyche?
  • What point of view is distorting the truth?
  • What are you seeing with more clarity?
  • What no longer serves your highest good?
  • What cycle feels completed?
  • What have you already outgrown?
  • Where are you feeling a sense of release?

Don’t overthink those questions because it’s not about forcing this energy, it’s about allowing the truth to be revealed.

As vibrational beings – becoming conscious of our energy is how we begin to shift it, and Universe is responding to us 💫

The stories may differ, but our personal experiences are connected to a collective narrative because Pluto entered Aquarius November 2024.

According to star gazers Pluto went retrograde May 6th, and it’s considered to be the beginning of a (5) month IN-ward journey, that’s said to be a corrective point in a collective shift. What has been projected OUT into the world will begin to circle back IN to the psyche, to be processed within, so it can begin to work through the collective field, systems, networks, ideologies, digital spaces, and communities we attach to, and the identities we build inside of them.

Every mind must make its choice between truth and repose. It cannot have both.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

BE-coming conscious of the truth can feel destabilizing, but we can’t think our way out of an energetic shift.

  • Notice where your attention flows
  • Notice where you react automatically
  • Notice how others are responding to you

Pluto in Aquarius is an ongoing conversation with the divine masculine, and regardless of our gender, we ALL feel this energy within us. If old heart break, trauma, rejection, guilt, anxieties, regret, abandonment fears or avoided truths are being triggered – it’s exposing structures built on ego, fear, manipulation, and emotional dishonesty because they don’t serve the souls evolution.

Pluto is shining a light on the motives behind projections, to stop us from activating old narratives, so we may be reflecting on our roles, and the dynamics in different systems (from micro to macro). It may feel like we are losing parts of ourselves as old identities begin to fall away, but however challenging – TRUST THE PROCESS – because the only way OUT is through.

The past hasn’t changed, but our relationship to it, and the meaning we give it has.

By the time this Blue Moon reaches fullness – certain truths may feel undeniable, there may be a sense that something is shifting within us, and we’ll be asking ourselves …

  • What strengthens my spirit?
  • What makes me feel more alive?
  • What drains my life force?
  • What truths keep resurfacing?
  • What future is calling me forward?

“The current energies may be bringing emotional realizations, nervous system sensitivity, vivid dreams, deeper reflection, relationship clarity, and the growing awareness that certain environments, emotional patterns, conversations, habits, or responsibilities may be affecting us more than before.

If you are realising how you’ve changed, then reconnect with what nourishes you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Emotional honesty, healthier boundaries, meaningful connection, grounding routines, nervous system care, and inner alignment feels more important to us because we are making space to receive what we are ready to manifest into reality.

We are at a crossroad between timelines.

✨️The road that’s ending

✨️The road we are standing upon

✨️The road waiting beyond the horizon.

A Blue Moon in Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of destiny, wisdom, and expansion. It carries the energy of the Archer, the one who must choose a direction before releasing the arrow.

It’s not a a wish, and it’s not hope.

It’s a declaration

Under the Blue Moon we are informing the Universe of our decision, and making a conscious choice.

Claiming our DREAM

Grounding the vision

Releasing the arrow 🏹 ✨️

Breaking the habit of seeking a lover …

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According to the Gregorian calendar, winter doesn’t officially begin until June, but Nature tells us when she’s ready to change, and winter has arrived.

Can you feel the shift ?

Seasonal shifts influence our mood and energy because of the weather changes – Less sunshine alters our internal body clock, and regardless of our gender, we ALL feel the effects of shifting hormone levels – Less daylight lowers serotonin and dopamine (destabilizing our moods), and increases melatonin (making us feel like sleeping more).

As a 52 year old perimenopausal woman I’ve been navigating hormonal shifts for a while now, because the “change of life” is a process, and it can take up to 8 fucking years, which is why it’s ALWAYS about the journey.

During the winter months …

Embracing our natural instinct to slow down, and turn inwards can help us to adjust our daily routines, so we can prevent burn out, but we live in a world that keeps demanding more from us. That’s why honoring our need to slow down is a deeply grounding rebellion.

What am I learning on MY hormonal journey?

“Stay away from arseholes,” was my automatic response, and it’s absolutely spot on because we have less tolerance for the bullshit we are often served.

As progesterone and oestrogen fluctuate, our capacity for stress diminishes, and our nervous system becomes hyper sensitive. That’s why women of a certain age stop tolerating disrespectful behaviour, choosing not to engage in the chaos of drama.

As we learn, heal, mature and grow we become more responsive to the intuitive guidance of our gut instincts, instead of feeling torn between the timeless dilemma of our inner conflicts – our head (logic) and the heart (emotional desire). We value our time and energy because we know our worth, and life has become even more precious to us.

This isn’t just a life lesson … it’s a neurological shift.

I’m less resistive to change because my growth game is strong, but spiritual growth demands honesty, and that still challenges me when my consciousness shifts, as I become more self aware of my own patterns of behaviour.

As a single woman with a healthy appetite for life, food and sex, I usually seek the company of a lover, even when I’m not ready to commit to a relationship. I notice how I usually crave the warmth of a lover more during the cooler months, and I feel no shame in admitting that, but my soul wants more than the warmth of a body, and thanks to perimenopause my passion is on a slow burn, so my priorities have shifted.

To anchor my energy, and deepen the spiritual roots that ground me into the present moment.

I’m not seeking a lover because I don’t have an itch that needs scratching, there is no tension that needs relief. I don’t need anything that’s missing from me. I no longer need resolution from others because I don’t need validation, nothing feels inccomplete, and there is no hole in my life that needs filling (interpret that as you will).

I am whole – but I am ALWAYS becoming.

My sexual and creative energy is sacred, and in the past I’ve shared it with others too freely because I am open to love – and I’ve suffered the consequences of my choices – but I have learned

YES … I do desire to be in a relationship with another – to share, to create, to build and to grow together – but I acknowledge that I’m not ready for the imbalance a new relationship brings when two energies and lives merge.

So, I’m focusing on the relationship I have with my SELF – honouring my truth (the good, the bad, and the indifference), acknowledging the patterns of my own behaviour, releasing what I’ve outgrown, and aligning my energy to manifest a deeply fulfilling relationship in the future – with a trustworthy partner because I deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone who can fully meet me.

This winter I won’t be seeking the warmth of a lover, I’ll be …

♥️Feeling cozy in my sanctuary from the cold
♥️Slowing down to enjoy life’s simple pleasures
♥️Wrapping myself up in soft blankets
♥️Nurturing my ideas and inspirations
♥️Working on my creative projects
♥️Connecting with spirit
♥️Doing some arts and crafts
♥️Enjoying the company of family and friends
♥️Lighting fires under the nights sky
♥️Caring for and supporting others
♥️Creating atmospheric ambience with lighting
♥️Preparing garden beds for Spring
♥️Walking slowly in Nature
♥️Taking more naps with my pussy-cat
♥️Curling up on the couch with a good book
♥️Watching stuff I like on the TV
♥️Losing and finding myself in stories
♥️Cooking and baking wholesome foods
♥️Playing music, singing songs and dancing
♥️Wearing fluffy socks and beautiful scarfs
♥️Soaking in warm bubble baths by candle light
♥️Warming my belly with a nip of whiskey
♥️Indulging my senses and soothing my soul

There’s plenty to LOVE about being single during the winter months✌️😍

Reflection in rhyme …

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Sipping on my morning cuppa,
I tune IN to my senses.
A simple act of meditation,
that makes me feel the presence of NOW.

What do I see?

The colour green is everywhere,
and all around me,
with splashes of colour.
Shades of red, orange, pink, and yellow.

The forever blooming bergonia, and grevillea,
are attracting the pretty birds and bees.
The native blossom orchid, and banksia brush,
are attracting the beautiful butterflies.

The sky is full of dense grey clouds,
and the dewy drops look like water pearls,
as they glisten under a silvery sky.

The sun is neither bright, nor warm today,
he’s a day-lit moon, and a silvery shadow,
that feels enchanting.

A reminder …

The approaching NEW MOON in Taurus,
is inviting us to reflect upon our intentions.

What do I hear?

Birds are singing while they chitter chatter,
and the bees are buzzing from flower to flower.
The chooks are clucking to the left of me,
and the traffic is humming to the right,
In the distance I hear a dog bark,
and his neighbours are responding in chorus.
The snort of a horse makes me smile,
suggesting he disapproves of their conversation.

I take a sip from my new cup,
and read the words.
I LOVE YOU MUM ♥️

My attention shifts …

To the thoughts and the stories,
that take me to the past, and into the future.
As they collide into the present moment,
I become the bridge of inbetween.

The compression point 💫

A conscious link that transforms memories,
and possibilities into reality.

What lessons have I learned from the past?
How will I bring them forward into the future?

No longer negotiating my hopes and dreams,
I’m focusing on long term personal development, and sustainable spiritual growth,
built on heart centred devotion.

My spiritual roots have grown a strong spine,
and my energy feels deeply grounded.

A connection that anchors me ⚓️

No longer drifting through other people’s lives,
I’m building my own foundations,
but life continues to challenge me to change,
and universe is responding to who I am.

Under this NEW MOON, I declare …

✨️I am the creator of my own experiences

✨️I am grateful for my family and friends

✨️I am always guided and supported

✨️I am the best version of my SELF

✨️I am living a fullfilling life of abundance

✨️I am worthy of my hopes and dreams

✨️I am loved, I am lovable, and I am LOVE

As it IS, so mote it BE 💫

Why don’t we want to stay present with the discomfort?

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I shared a blog about staying present in the moment, and in reflection I over intellectualized the discomfort by focusing on the process, but discomfort is NOT a problem to be solved, it’s an experience to be felt, so I’m going to share my thoughts and feelings about staying present in the moment with discomfort.

Although there’s a simple answer to the question …

We don’t want to stay present with discomfort because it’s uncomfortable

Becoming comfortable with discomfort is a complex process …

My discomfort usually involves an interaction with someone else, and although I’m open to share my experiences, I understand why most people are not. Vulnerability drops the defences to expose our true self (good, bad, ugly), and that also leaves us open to judgement, rejection and manipulation.

I struggle with those reactions myself, but my struggles with vulnerability keeps teaching me how to feel my BIG emotions more deeply, so I can learn how to regulate, build resilience, and actively grow from my challenges. Teaching me how to maintain healthier boundaries, and protect my energy, so I can say NO more confidently when something no longer fits (or) aligns with my truth.

New experiences are catalysts for our personal growth

Sharing my struggles more openly is how I experience genuine in-to-me-see because it invites others to share more openly too, but not everyone is ready for that kind of honesty. Exposing my flaws, faults, failures and fuck ups without projecting the blame onto another, is how I become more accepting of my SELF, so I can realize my own worth, and feel more compassion for the struggle

… but the struggle is real, and it still challenges me.

Lots of things make me uncomfortable, but not everything triggers my defences.

Recent challenges triggered BIG e-motions, and because they operate in the deeper parts of my psyche, they create the BIGGEST reaction within me, and that’s what I want to reflect upon.

GUILT – is often triggered because more open and honest conversations bring uncomfortable truths to our attention, but something is shifting because I no longer feel an intense need to fix my mistakes (or) punish myself to restore balance, because I’ve integrated my shadow. We ALL make mistakes when we are learning and growing, but that’s an important part of our healing.

SHAME – often triggers a deep fear of being unlovable, unworthy, and rejected, but by releasing myself from the guilt of what I (or others) believed I did wrong, changes the inner dialogue. Being open to learn from my experiences makes me more curious, and less judgemental. Increasing my capacity for love, and compassion for SELF and others who are struggling. The more I realize my intrinsic value without needing external validation, the more worthy I feel.

FEAR – triggers many defences for different reasons, and the stories vary, but recently someone reached out to reconnect, and although they are not a bad person, they haven’t been good for me. That’s why I sensed a threat to my mental health, my emotional well-being.

Trauma isn’t defined by an event itself …

… but by the lasting internal impact it has on our mind and body.

Even when we’ve cultivated a growth mindset, and have healed from our most challenging experiences of loss, it doesn’t stop the triggers, but it does influence how we will react and/or respond. When my survival fight/flight/freeze response triggers an automatic reaction in my nervous system, I notice the hypervigilance, flashbacks, and cognitive distortions.

We break this cycle (trauma loop) by rewiring the neural pathway.

I’ve been consciously doing this by learning how to feel safe and secure within the present moment, by being conscious of my resistance to it, making better choices, grounding my energy, and focusing on my senses.

  • Focusing on BE-ing rather than DO-ing
  • Taking deeper breaths to anchor my energy into the present
  • Tuning into my senses to ground my attention into the moment
  • Becoming aware of the tension in my body
  • Acknowledging the resistance so I can release it
  • ACCEPTING the present moment for what it is
  • Observing my thoughts, feelings and stories without judgement
  • Becoming more curious of my reactions
  • LETTING GO of my need to control
  • Fully surrendering to the experience of NOW

Realizing that the power for change lies within the present moment

My openness, and curious nature often triggers the defences in others, but if people understand (or) misunderstand me isn’t my responsibility.

Human beings are conditioned (biologically and socially) to avoid discomfort, distress and pain, but we live in a world that’s full of conflicting truths, and some of those experiences can be a catalyst for our growth. That’s why I often feel called to share my experiences, but the way I write is a prime example of one of my own habitual defence mechanisms, and I’m open to explore that so I can improve my craft as a writer.

I write to make sense of my challenges, but I want to write something worth reading. For me, writing has helped me to understand my SELF better, and writing my story has been a catalyst for my personal growth and development.

I share my thoughts and feelings to support others on a healing journey.

Staying present in the moment

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Staying present in the moment sounds easy, but not all moments are pleasant.

Those are the opportunities to practice, and it will challenge us because the mind automatically wants to deflect discomfort, but REFLECTION is how we transform our pain into healing, growth, and deeper self awareness.

That’s why I blog my journal process with more intention. To look at my challenges from a higher perspective, and gain deeper meaning.

My mental health has been a little fragile this week because of too many challenges, and too much stress, but it’s been an opportunity for a powerful mental re-frame, that’s been fuel for my focus, motivation and growth.

We can ALL get stuck in the loop of our unhelpful thoughts, especially during times of stress, and that’s why I’m so very grateful for the supports I have, and the conversations that reflect the change and growth within those moments.

“Authentic conversations are open, honest, and respectful dialogues that foster deep connections by sharing our true thoughts and feelings, rather than relying on superficial small talk or transactional communication. They require vulnerability, active listening, and the courage to be one’s true self, which boosts psychological safety, trust, and collaboration in relationships.” (based on research by David Bradford and Carole Robin – Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues.)

We ALL want to have deeper connections, and healthier relationships, but tension and conflict can create misunderstandings that initiate disconnection …

… but detachment can be our deepest expression of LOVE

Detaching from others allows us to maintain healthier boundaries, emotional balance, and personal peace, but withdrawing defensively can ruin relationships because it shuts down communication, and enhances conflict.

I’ve been confronted with both experiences …

Shifting between a state of emotional reactivity to objective observation has allowed me to witness the opposite poles of my own experience, and to understand the reactions of others. Neither good nor bad, but complementary forces within to balance, and that inner conflict is the most challenging of all.

Conflict, like CHANGE is inevitable, and it’s a natural part of life because we won’t always see things in the same way, we don’t always agree, we all make mistakes, and no matter how good our intentions may be, sometimes we will hurt each other, but that’s why conflict is our greatest opportunity for growth.

  • When we make a mistake … own it
  • When we fuck up … acknowledge it
  • When we fail … learn from it
  • When we hurt someone … be humble enough to apologize for it
  • When someone hurts us … have thd courage to express it

Forgive the flaws of our humanity, but don’t forget the lessons we’ve learned because that’s how we improve the relationship with our SELF, and that enables us to respond with a little more compassion for others.

Recognizing the difference between disconnection and detachment empowers us to make healthier choices, but the realities of life can challenge us.

Sometimes it’s challenging to stay fully present in reality

We avoid reality and escape our truth to cope with stressful experiences, and our overwhelming emotions, but we rarely even notice that we are doing it …

  • We pour another drink and get lost in the void
  • We partake in gossip and get lost in the drama
  • We have sex and get lost in the distraction
  • We light up another cigarette and get lost in the cycle
  • We eat our feelings and get lost in the pattern
  • We login to Netflix and get lost in another story
  • We read a book and get lost in other realities
  • We switch on the TV and get lost in the matrix
  • We engage in gaming and get lost in other worlds
  • We pick up our phone and get lost in the scrolling

We ALL escape reality in some way, shape or form, and sometimes we do it to maintain a sense of sanity, because being human in a world full of conflict, crisis, chaos, triggers, tragedy and trauma is fucking hard sometimes.

Symptoms of depression and anxiety are effecting millions of people, and that’s WHY we need to be talking more openly about our mental health challenges.

We are ALL struggling in some way, and the more conscious we become, the harder it is to avoid ourselves because we are aware of unconscious defence mechanisms, which ironically, makes it even more challenging to stay present.

  • PROJECTION – feeling insecure and accusing others of it
  • DENIAL – refusing to acknowledge there’s a problem
  • RATIONALIZATION – justifying bad behaviour
  • REGRESSION – child-like behaviour (silent treatment/tantrum)
  • INTELLECTUALIZATION – using logic to avoid uncomfortable e-motions
  • REPRESSION – pushing painful thoughts and memories deep down
  • SUBLIMATION – channelling our anger towards intense exercise
  • DISPLACEMENT – shouting at our kids instead of dealing with our stress
  • REACTION FORMATION – acting friendly to someone we don’t like

We ALL engage in these behaviours when our defences are triggered, and it can lead to so many of our unhealthy behaviours (bad habits), as well as impacting negatively upon our relationships, and our interactions with others.

An important part of our healing journey is acknowledging this about ourselves, because until we take accountability for our actions, then we will be a slave to our reactions, instead of a proactive participant in our healing process.

Taking accountability is challenging because it triggers our shame, but it’s not about taking the blame. It’s about taking ownership of our experience so we can reclaim our power, and make healthier choices. Shifting from the woe is me victim mentality, to an empowered growth mindset means taking full responsibility for our unconscious behaviours, patterns and choices.

Taking full responsibility for how we react to the experiences that are challenging us to change is extremely challenging, because it’s challenging us to fucking CHANGE, and that’s a vital part of our inner transformations.

So, if YOU want to become conscious of your own patterns?

  • Journal – to know your SELF, and notice the reoccurring themes
  • Identify your triggers – what makes you feel defensive, anxious, guilty?
  • Notice your reactions – know your assumptions and judgements
  • Be OPEN to feedback – ask those you trust to tell you what they see

When we know our SELF better, then we can make better choices

Making better choices will change our experience, but life will still challenge us to confront the opposing forces, and we will either keep repeating the same patterns (or) breakthrough to become a mirror of reflection for others.

I’ve shared this quote before, and I’ll share it again …

“Your perception of me is a reflection of you, and my response to you is an awareness of me.”(Bobbi Chegwyn)

How can we stay more present in the uncomfortable moments?

  • Focus on BE-ing rather than DO-ing
  • Take deeper breaths to anchor you into the present
  • Tune into your senses to ground you into the moment
  • Become aware of the tension in your body
  • Acknowledging the resistance helps to release it
  • ACCEPT the present moment for what it is
  • Observe your thoughts, feelings and stories without judgement
  • Become more curious about your reactions
  • LET GO of your need for control
  • Fully surrender to the experience of NOW

Realize that the power for change lies within the present moment

NEW MOON in Aries

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According to star gazers, the fiery energy of an Aries New Moon (17th) will feel like it’s pushing us forward, even if we’ve been sitting in the same place for a while, because of it’s conjunction with other planets.

  • Chiron (the wounded healer – healing)
  • Eris (the disruptor of norms – change)
  • Mercury (the messenger – communication)
  • Mars (the warrior of action – desire)
  • Saturn (the task master and boundary keeper – discipline)
  • Neptune (the dreamer and mystic – vision)

This month’s planetary alignment acts as a catalyst for deep spiritual reflection, radical self honesty, the release of old patterns, and the end of a karmic cycle because we’ve already stepped into a new timeline. It’s the initiation of a new chapter in self-assertion, personal value, and emotional courage.

The FIRE HORSE is making it’s presence known …

Activating what we’ve been through, and what we’ve healed from so we can see ourselves in a new light because we have grown.

  • What was unfolding for YOU as NEW MOON approached?
  • What is Universe showing you?
  • What stories are coming up to be acknowledged?
  • What thoughts are arising to be processed?
  • What e-motions are flowing to be felt?
  • What energy is shifting for YOU?

For me, its been challenging me to see beyond the projections, but unresolved conflict, unhealed wounds and sacred rage wants to be witnessed.

“Seeing beyond projection is an invitation, to move from reacting to the mirror of the outside world, to witness the inner landscape of the self, but it requires courage to look at the shadow.” because even if it’s within another, we will still see ourselves looking back.

On the 15th, I woke with a runny nose, sinus congestion, headache, and fatigue.

The changing of seasons, and fluctuation in temperature trigger changes that allow viruses to flourish, and spread more easily, but symptoms are our body’s way of communicating with us, so I lean IN with a little more curiosity.

Metaphysically, cold and flu symptoms represent a need to slow down, so we can process emotional and mental congestion, and clear energetic blocks.

  • Congestion – too much going on at once (mentally and emotionally)
  • Headache – tension, overthinking, a call to reconnect with the body
  • Runny nose/eyes – processing sadness, grief, unmet need for comfort
  • Fever – burning off negativity, anger, invasion of our energetic space
  • Cough/sore throat – unspoken words, supressed emotion, awakening of the spirit, and the clearing of energy
  • Aches/chills – mental contraction, resisting change, overwhelm
  • Fatigue – profound soul level reconstructuring

We live in a world that expects us to push through, regardless of how we feel.

The “soldier on with codral” is reflective of more than symptom management, it’s a systemic issue that prioritizes productivity over our individual health and well being. Ignoring and disregarding our own physical, mental and/or emotional needs to meet external demands, keep the peace, and maintain harmony is basically telling ourselves that our health and wellbeing doesn’t matter … but it should matter the most to us.

The stresses of life are constant, but when we are feeling unwell …

  • Our body is forcing us to REST, and break the cycle of doing
  • Asking us to detox – emotional processing of mind/body/spirit
  • To surrender control, accept care, and renew our personal values

Instead of managing my symptoms to maintain work responsibilities, I called in sick because I don’t want to share the bug with those I care for, and although it will have a financial impact, my priorities are right for me.

TRUE WEALTH … IS OUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING !!!

Like most accomplished women (perceive that as you will), I’ve often pushed myself too hard to prove the value of my worth. I’ve learned many of my lessons the hard way, but I’ve grown the most from those experiences challenging me to change, because I’m here to learn about healing, and my growth game is strong.

“Maybe you don’t notice your progress because you’re always raising your bar.”

Yesterday morning (16th) I awoke from sleep thinking …

Since settling down and being more honest with myself, I’ve acknowledged the projections I’ve unconsciously internalized from others, and how and why it’s had an impact on my confidence and self worth.

Internalized projection happens when we absorb, and accept another person’s unwanted emotions, insecurities, judgments, or self-doubts as our own truth.

I recall …

  • How many times I’ve been told that I want and expect TOO much, by those settling for less because of their resistance to change.
  • How often I’ve been judged and criticised, by those who misunderstand me because they don’t accept their fears, faults, and flaws.
  • How many ways I’ve been told that I am not enough, by those reflecting their own limitations and insecurities.
  • How often I’ve been told I am crazy and foolish, by those denying their own shortcomings and failings.

“Projection is an unconscious defence mechanism to protect the ego, but it can also be a unconscious or conscious manipulation tactic to control the narrative,” 

… but we don’t reclaim our power by fighting shadows.

We change the narrative by turning on the light, and becoming conscious.

I can forgive others for projecting their truth onto me, but I’ll never forget how it made me feel, and forgiving ourselves for projecting onto others (especially those we love and value) is more challenging because it triggers the guilt, blame and shame stories, that trigger a deeper memory.

“The collective memory is a shared, often unconscious, psychological archive holding onto systemic stories, historical trauma, moral failures, and structural injustices. A memory that shapes the collective identity, influencing how we perceive our worth and our relationship to others.“

It’s a silent dialogue between the past and present I’m often aware of.

People project onto others to protect themselves from uncomfortable emotions, negative thoughts, or undesirable traits they can’t accept in themselves (the shadow), but we are ALL mirrors and reflections for each other.

What you see in me is a reflection of you ..

Because what we judge or appreciate in another already exists within us.

After witnessing the thoughts upon awakening from my sleep yesterday morning, I got out bed, put the kettle on, rubbed some more vicks on my chest, and I made a cuppa. While putting the cream back into the fridge it slipped from my hand, spilt onto the floor, and the thought popped into my mind.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk” …

A proverb: dwelling on our mis-takes and mis-fortunes is pointless because it’s already happened, and can’t be reversed. Reminding us to focus on the present and future, rather than wasting our energy on unchangeable past events.

I couldn’t help but smile when Lilith wandered over to lick up the cream

“Like the cat that got the cream” …

A proverb: the satisfaction of being pleased with ourselves because we’ve been validated in some way, shape or form, success has been achieved, we got what we wanted, or we’ve done something that we are proud of.

No, I’m not feeling smug, but I no longer doubt the value of my worth. I am grateful for my conversations with spirit because it’s triggered a much deeper NEW MOON reflection. I haven’t and don’t always get what I want, but I am proud of myself because my intentions are in alignment with my higher self, and that’s for the Greater Good of ALL, but I won’t abandon my SELF.

This NEW MOON is intense and transformative …

  • Start something you’ve been putting off
  • Choose yourself without overthinking it
  • Take action towards something you feel pulled towards
  • Let go of hesitation and doubt

This NEW MOON is a potent time for shadow work …

  • Where have you been overcommitting or over compromising?
  • Where have you been self editing to keep the peace?
  • Where have you been prioritizing harmony over your own truth?

Every NEW MOON is an opportunity to plant the seeds of our intention …

  • What are you no longer carrying forward from the past?
  • What are you calling in from the future?
  • Who are you on the other side?

I’ve been RESTING, and I feel healthier for it, but I’ve also been reflecting because that’s the inner work I value, and I share my insights for those who are open to see themselves, and their experiences differently.

Under this NEW MOON I declare who I am, and why I have grown, what is mine, and what is no more because what we meet within ourselves during this time will shape what comes next …

A reflection about writing my story

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After sharing my first draft with others, I’ve been procrastinating for months, and a writing mentor suggested I reflect, and journal about my writing process.

… but WHY ?

“Writing about your writing process transforms writing from a chaotic act into a manageable craft, fostering creativity, consistency, and self-awareness. It acts as a mirror, revealing what techniques actually work, helping to overcome writer’s block, and separating the creative act from the self-critic.” (McGoogle)

… but HOW ?

“It involves reflecting on how you generate ideas, structure your work, and refine your drafts. Exploring not just what you wrote, but how you wrote it, documenting the journey from initial inspiration.” (McGoogle)

… WHAT inspires me to write ?

Over the years, many elderly people have shared their regrets about not writing and/or sharing their stories, and I’m passionately curious about the human experience. I write to make sense of my thoughts, feelings, and challenges, so I can find deeper meaning and a higher purpose for my struggles.

… WHEN did I begin to write my story ?

Before my call OUT to adventure in 2016, I knew I was going to write a story about love that mattered, and I had the vision of that story being made into a movie, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next …

  • A family crisis after heeding the call OUT to adventure, and making plans to explore work in the UK
  • The death of my BE-loved mother and our matriarch
  • The death of my BE-loved father and our patriarch
  • The death of a close friend and my soul sister
  • A global crisis that created chaos in the world

Those were the trauma’s and tragedies of loss, but being separated from my children, and intimate relationship challenges contributed to my struggles, and no-one can go through those kind of experiences unchanged.

I acknowledge, I’ve already achieved something by writing my story, but like any other goal I’ve achieved (or) dream I’ve actualized, writing the final chapters of my story is not THE END …

Unsure which direction to go next …

  • Do I just self publish it as it is?
  • Do I pay the big money for editing support?
  • Do I look around for more affordable options?

  • What is the value of my work?
  • What are my words worth?
  • What is my relationship with money?

  • Should I keep it as a non fiction story to keep it real?
  • Should I rewrite it as fiction to expand upon the challenges?
  • Should I give up and just write another story?

Sharing my first draft has been more challenging than I had expected, but the experience has been enlightening. I’ve received some positive, and constructive feedback from those who support and encourage me to keep going, but I’ve also felt the uncomfortable triggery reactions, and the discomforts of silence.

So, I’ve been feeling a little disheartened and unmotivated.

Although I appreciate that not everyone will resonate, or necessarily agree with my healing journey (and they don’t have to because it’s my experience), I do hope that readers will understand what motivates me to write, and why I share the experiences that have challenged me to learn, heal, change and grow.

I’m aware that it’s normal to feel disheartened whenever we confront obstacles and/or challenges, and I’ve needed to PAUSE so I can process the feedback, but I never give up on what matters most to me.

Apparently, there are (7) stages of writing …

  • DISCOVERY – the vision: dream, ideas, plan, purpose, audience
  • RESEARCH – the preparation: notes, outline, structure, experiences
  • WRITING – the draft: adding flesh to the bones of a story
  • FEEDBACK – the sharing: reactions and perspectives from others
  • REVISION – the review: rethink, rearrange, remove, rework
  • EDITING – the refining: clarifying the message for more impact
  • PUBLICATION – the promotion: printing, pitches, sharing

Clearly, I’ve reached the (5th) stage in writing my story …

As I process the feedback, and use it to revise my words, and clarify my message, I notice how the ego reacts defensively to negative feedback, how my heart responds to judgement and misunderstandings with more compassion, and curiosity because it accepts conflicting truths, and seeks deeper connection, and how the gut acts decisively, to cut through the distraction of overthinking and overwhelm, because my head over analyses and my heart feels too much.

I’m becoming more conscious of all (3) internal processors …

EGO – defends, analyses, reasons, rationalises, and plans

HEART – empathizes by feeling emotion to determine what feels “right” according to our core values, acting as the bridge between the head and gut.

GUT – is both our intuitive knowing (the insight from learning how to recognize the patterns of behaviour), and our survival instincts (the conditioned fight/flight/freeze responses).

Learning how to trust my gut has been challenging because I’ve often confused my instinct (survival) with my intuition (growth), but those hard lessons have taught me so much more about my SELF, and that’s why I’m always grateful for the experiences that are challenging me to learn, change, heal and grow.

EVERY loss is an opportunity to learn !!!

I’m grateful for ALL the feedback, regardless of how it’s made me feel because it’s part of the process, and I will use it in the next stage of writing.

BELIEVE in the visions of your dreams …

… because they are the previews to life’s coming attractions.

Full Moon in Libra

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This months FULL MOON is in Libra, and it’s occuring during Aries season at 1.11pm in Australia, so its intense manifestation energy 🔥

What do you want to attract?
What do you want to experience?
What do you want to create?

The theme this FULL MOON is BALANCE

According to the star gazers it’s considered to be the annual RELATIONSHIP AUDIT, to re-evaluate our personal boundaries and compromises.

Asking us …

Does something feel out of balance?
Where am I over-compromising?
What truth am I avoiding, and why?
How am I maintaining the balance at the cost of my own needs, and why?

To illuminate the imbalance so we can make the necessary adjustments for a more balanced life.

Balancing our personal needs (Aries Sun) with the needs of other (Libra Moon) to create harmony.

The ME (self) versus the WE (other) dynamics

This months FULL MOON has been inviting me to respond differently, but my reactions have been the same, and that’s been enlightening in itself.

Sharing my deeper truths, and openly expressing my challenges, concerns and curiosities have often triggered shifts I don’t always want or like.

… but that doesnt make it wrong ☝️🤨

Why does our truth challenge others ?

🌀️ it exposes uncomfortable realities
🌀️ it disrupts the comfort loops
🌀️ it challenges deeper insecurities
🌀️ it threatens the ego’s sense of control

Why should we share our truth ?

✨️ Honesty is self respecting, not people pleasing
✨️ Protecting our inner peace reduces conflict
✨️ Authenticity builds integrity, and empowers us
✨️ Attracts genuine connections with others

This months FULL MOON I’m releasing what I’ve already outgrown, but conflicting thoughts have still triggered an emotional reaction. Forcing me to confront uncomfortable inconsistencies between who I was, who I am, and who I want to be.

“The past, present, and future collide in the NOW, when memory (our past) and anticipation (the future) define the current self, creating a dynamic, and continuously evolving identity. Suggesting that we exist across time, with all moments equally real and constantly influencing each other.”

Time is an illusion and reality is subjective ☝️🤨

As they say “change is inevitable, but growth is optional,” because we often seek comfort within a lie, but the illusions of truth eventually crumble, and those kinda shifts will challenge us to change.

Then the discomforts of change and growth will start to trigger our self sabotaging behaviours …

🌀 Comfort loops (familiar patterns)
🌀 Fear of the unknown (uncertainty)
🌀 Fear of success or failure (visibility)
🌀 Identity protection (our sense of self)

Those subconscious defence mechanisms are usually the root cause and the source of our …

✨️ All or nothing thinking (cognitive distortion)
✨️ Procrastination (avoiding discomfort)
✨️ Perfectionism (unrealistic standards)
✨️ Conflict (initiation of drama or chaos)

How do we overcome the discomfort ?

We don’t … we just learn how to become more comfortable with it, and it takes ALOT of practice.

The discomforts of our growth triggers reactions within ourselves, and reflections from others, so pay attention to what you are seeing and feeling.

Every reflection serves a purpose🪞👀

Acknowledge that discomfort is a sign of growth, and break free from comfort loops and habitual cycles by shifting the focus of your attention from self criticism to curiosity and self compassion.

During challenging times of change it’s important to avoid overwhelming the nervous system, by accepting that the feeling of safety is temporary.

Again, this is easier in theory than practice, and its a lesson I’ve learned the hard way (as always), but suffering the consequences of my own choices is how I learn the most. When I fail or loose, then I’m learning important lessons, and that kind of thinking is the bonus of cultivating a GROWTH mindset☝️🤨

Life is an ongoing lesson and we are both the student and the teacher, but we often forget to pay attention to the lessons until they are repeated, the hardest lessons are usually the ones we need to teach ourselves, we often fail to apply the wisdom we’ve gained to our daily lives, we are often too busy acting as teacher to realize we have so much more to learn, and we aren’t always good students.

So, as I recognize past patterns, and apply those lessons to new situations, I’m making a conscious choice to act differently, so better outcomes can be experienced. This process shifts me from repeating the same mistakes, to another path of NEW learning because I’ve integrated the lesson.

BOOM 💥

What’s coming into alignment for YOU ?