Here I am … lost inside of myself


Shes living life on her own terms

In a state of conflict between what is and what will be

Turning up each day … not completely dressed

Moving through the motions … not fully arriving

As the clock keeps ticking … her body plays out the roles & responsibilities expected of her, while her heart continues to beat to another rhythm

Her mind lags behind and her heart races forwards, while her soul stays forever present … as if time has the ability to stand still

Mocking her … because time just keeps on ticking

She invites in lovers  who offer some temporary relief from herself

The comfort of a warm embrace …

is a place of refuge in between the spaces of silence

But as soon as she is alone again … the call of silence becomes louder

Unable to avoid the shadow that beckons her, she wanders through the darkness …
but she isn’t lost

Shes exploring the depths of herself. Parts that are waiting to be found, begging to be acknowledged and longing to be loved

Shadows of the past and memories of yesterday that still linger

Choices that were made and consequences not yet free from

Was the loss worth the gain ?

Is the possibility of a gain worth the loss ?

Right or wrong

Life is held together by an accumulation of the choices that we make

And whether we choose to walk away, go back or stand still …

… life will keep on passing us by

It won’t wait for us to catch up

Some choices present to change our life completely …

but only IF we allow it to

So … she sits with the resistance

She wants to RUN towards the calling of her heart

but …

Pride holds her back and

Fear keeps her still

She wants to JUMP into the life she imagines

but …

Doubt restricts and

Guilt imprisons her

So … she stands in the silence … lost deep inside of herself

… waiting to be found



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