We only need switch on the TV or turn on our computer to see the evidence of how much FEAR is vibrating in our world. Fear that gives energy to the kind of anger that motivates hate, which causes suffering for all of us.
YES … it concerns me to know that people are hating on Muslims
YES … it concerns me to know that people are angry about the state of our world
YES … it concerns me to know that people are feeding their fears
But, fear doesn’t only lead to hate, it also leads to HURT, which is the biggest cause of our suffering. Something that motivates me to dig deeper and explore further because like you, I have hurts in need of healing. And I’m willing to do anything I can to make sure I live a life motivated by love, so that future generations can live in a world with less fear. Because like you, I want my children’s children to live in a world with more LOVE ❤
I keep talking about how our hurts are often attached to our fears, and how confronting them is the only way we over come them.
So, HOW do we do this you may well ask ?
For me, the more self-aware I’m becoming, the more I recognize the discomfort arising whenever a fear begins to surface. However, because our fears are generally attached to a heart hurt, we not only begin to feel anxious about the experience we are having now, but we will most likely be pulled back into painful past memories. To a time when something happened that caused us physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual pain and suffering.
Hence the importance of flowing completely with our experiences as they occur.
Because when we dont fully feel, process, learn and grow from a painful experience, then we will continue to attract the same experience into our lives. Repeating the same patterns and going through the same old cycles until we do fully feel, process, learn and grow from it. Then and only then will we be ready to LET GO and move forward.
But it’s important to note that our fears serve a very important purpose, to guide and protect us. Most of our fears are created by our minds to make sure that whatever has hurt us in the past doesn’t happen again, or to make sure something that may hurt us, wont.
However, this process isn’t always logical because sometimes our fear is guiding us towards the very thing that’s preventing us from moving forwards. And sometimes our fear is irrational and can be the very thing that keeps holding us back in a state of constant suffering.
Our mind will always try to convince us that whatever we are doing is the right thing for us to do, which of course, isn’t always true.
Hence the importance of not always believing everything we think.
Truth is, when we believe everything we think then our heart is forced to step in. The voice of our heart will get louder and louder until we are eventually forced to listen and pay closer attention to our truth. But when we choose to ignore this internal conflict then our hurts transform into much deeper wounds, which continues to feed our fear.
Indeed, our brains are magnificent creations, but it helps me to remember that my mind is like a computer, which requires the same kind of management. Just like a computer, it needs to constantly upgrade the software, because new experiences continue to change how we think. Updates to the “system” ensures that we are not running on any outdated belief systems that are no longer serving us. And just like a computer, it needs to run frequent spy ware and antivirus protection. To ensure there are no irrational thoughts feeding those hungry fears.
Hence the importance of understanding how our own mind works.
In the past, as my fears began to surface I would typically respond to the feeling of discomfort in the same typical way. Firstly, I would usually start chewing on my finger nails as my anxiety increased. Soon followed by seeking out mood altering substances to relieve my feelings of stress (cigarettes, booze, food or sex). Once feeling a little calmer, I would then look for someone to talk to because I struggled to sit with my fears alone.
Hence the importance of exploring our unhealthy “bad” habits.
So, what has changed for me ?
Fuck loads !!!
Now, even if I haven’t recognized the fear, I am aware of my behavioural change. I notice myself chewing on my fingernails, which is the first prompt to STOP and pay attention to what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling. At this point how I respond will depend on how irrational the fear or how deep the heart wound.
Although I successfully kicked the smoking habit, have less need to escape reality, so drink less booze and am learning to love and respect myself more, so having less sex out of relationship, I do still seek comfort in food. Even more so now that I’m not smoking cigarettes, drinking booze and having sex.
This has brought up those deeper heart wounds, which has required some serious attention as I noticed myself repeating the same old patterns in love.
The biggest change in my life has been my desire to pull back from others during these times, which is largely related to my need to trust and allow myself to fully feel, process, learn and grow from the experience.
This has had the biggest impact on my life and is changing how I think, feel and experience both fear and hurt. Because the truth is fear leads us towards our own darkest side.
Mindful interaction ❤