I wrote the words in the attached link last year, while confronting Mam’s end of life. I still feel like this sometimes, as I process, feel and heal from our loss 💔

https://breakingthehabitz.wordpress.com/2017/10/21/the-demons-of-my-own-mind/?preview=true

Scrolling through my facebook memories this morning, I reflect over what has been, what IS, what is unfolding and the uncertain future that lies ahead of us all. There have been so many challenges and changes over the last 2 years.

Individual and Collective

As a family we are still processing, feeling and adjusting to our challenges and changes. And as we approach Mam’s first year anniversary in spirit, we’re all having different experiences.

Although we have all endured the same loss, we each have our own personalities and life experiences, which influences how we individually experience and process our grief.

What I love most about my family, is our ability to be completely honest with each other. We value truth over comfort and never shy away from our tensions and conflicts. Majority of the time we talk openly, which helps us to better understand each other. Other times our inner tensions will build and our understandings come through our conflicting differences.

We continue to learn alot from each other

In the heaviness of my grief, I’m learning alot about myself and others. As I pull back to process, feel and heal, I notice the reactions to my sharings. I’ve been unfollowed, defriended, encouraged, avoided, supported, stalked, judged, misunderstood and celebrated.

Although unfollowings, defriendings and judgements cause me discomfort, I appreciate how such reactions are none of my business. I understand that others are confronting their own inner tensions and conflicts. A belief that helps me to reframe my own thoughts. Instead of wondering what’s wrong with me? Taunting myself for being too much or not enough, I can stand more confidently in my truth and feel love and compassion, for those who don’t fully see, support and love me or themselves.

I strongly believe that our individual journeys are essential to the collective experience. Because it’s our healings that are breaking us free from the limitations of our minds. Shifting the collective consciousness from fear, into a space of love. This is what continues to guide and motivate my sharings ❤