I woke this morning thinking about my relationship with
LIFE and LOVE
How its an IN-haling and EX-haling process
Breathing IN life and breathing OUT love
Going IN to understand myself
Then reaching OUT to connect with others
A dance between solitude and sharing
Meditation and conversation
My thoughts drifted towards relationship with other
Thinking about what I learn from the masculine
What the last (3) intimate connections have taught me
How and why they ended
Recognizing when it felt right to part ways
Knowing what was right for them, not just me
Although I still feel myself holding on
I’m learning how to let go with a little less resistance
To flow with a little more grace
More conscious of myself
Recognizing the reason, season and lifetime
The need that attracted us to each other
The experiences we shared together
My openness to love
But my inability to settle
What falling in love means to me?
When and why I’ve fallen
My resistance to falling and a desire to rise
How it reflects my heart committing to the relationship
My need to grow together
A desire for a divine experience and sacred union
And what that reflects within me
Although I contemplate, reflect and journal about my relationships
And openly discuss my experiences within my circle of trust
I don’t share the details of my intimate challenges
Or my relationship struggles in the same way I used to
I’m honouring the relationship
Privilege the experience
And respecting the man
Grateful for the lessons in LOVE
My focus is on how the relationship served us
Rather than the wrong doings of the man
I take full responsibility for my experience and situation
Exploring the reflections, wounds and imbalance more consciously
Masculine and Feminine
Leaning into the tensions with more intention
And dissolving the conflicts
My mind seeks meaning and my heart seeks forgiveness
Because that’s what LOVE does
As I’m writing this
I hear a tapping on the window
It’s one of the cherub wrens fluttering around outside
Singing his sweet angelic song
I get up to open the curtain and smile
I’m not sleeping as much as I have been
My soul no longer feels tired
The more I focus on BEing rather than DOing
I notice how I wake feeling more rested
Even after only a few hours’ sleep
Although these are challenging and uncertain times
I’m not feeding my fear, so I don’t feel anxious
Wondering, but not worrying
My heart feels calmer and my mind is clearer
I realize that I’m no longer healing, but rebuilding
NOW is the time to focus my time and energy on creating the NEW
I ask myself …
What are my BIGGEST dreams?
What have I imagined?
What do I believe in?
What can I DO?
What am I creating?
My motto…
Dream it, Imagine it, Action it, Create it, Live it
Self-improvement tools are flowing my way
Opportunities to invest in myself are more affordable
Solitude feels a little less lonely
Isolation seems a little more purposeful
As I type, I look around and pay attention to my environment
The comfortable bed I’m sitting in
The view of the trees from my window
The sounds of the rain and birds
The smell of the damp earth
I enjoy being alone in Nature so much more than I ever have before
Solitude has become something I need
And Nature something I am
Gratitude overwhelms
And I feel contentment
I wonder,
How is it possible to feel this way during these times?
Why am I feeling at peace when the world is in chaos?
I know the answer
Because I’ve already felt the separation from loved ones
And found the deeper connection
We’ve already been through hell and back many times over
Already confronted and lived our worst nightmare
Our world has already been torn apart and shattered
We’ve already been broken and have lost so much
And I’ve LET GO of so much more
Surrendering over and over and over again
Until ripped bare of my defences
Naked and vulnerable
Open and bleeding
LOVE
I can stay focused on what matters most
Because I’ve learned the hard lessons
My mind drifts towards the collective conscience
And I feel the need to meditate with deeper intention
To deeply IN-hale life and EX-hale love
To breathe the fear deeper into my lungs
To where the virus dwells
A physical manifestation of the grief
I feel grounded with a deep connection to Gaia
The ancestral mother of ALL life
The primal Mother Earth goddess
My crown chakra is open to the Divine
I feel the spirit of our beloved Mother
And a connection to the collective Mother wound
On each breath I’m told to focus
Inhale LIFE and exhale LOVE
Breathe IN fear and breathe OUT the pain
Breathe IN pain and breathe OUT the suffering
Breathe IN suffering and breathe OUT the life
Breathe IN life and breathe OUT the love
Until the energy is transformed
From FEAR to LOVE
My BE-loveds
Alchemy isn’t magic
It’s science
YOU are the Magick