From my heart to yours with LOVE …

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We tend to feel the most afraid and vulnerable during uncertain times of change.

So, this is ME being OPEN to share my fear and vulnerability with YOU.

Although New Moon is a time to plant the seeds of our intentions. When the Moon is darkest, it’s also a time to dive IN and do our shadow work. To shine a light on those things that need to be seen, so we can RELEASE what no longer serves our Highest Good when the Moon is fully illuminated. We either do this consciously (or) our wounds are triggered and we unconsciously react (or) we deny and suppress our shadow completely.

I fluctuate between conscious and unconscious depending on how I’m flowing.

On the lead up to this month’s New Moon in Taurus I was flowing with fear, but I was also ovulating. My body was OPENING, ripe and receptive to NEW life, but I was holding tension in my body. I would like to say that I midwifed myself through this process with Grace, but I didn’t. To be honest, I wasn’t aware that I was in labour or birthing something. I just knew that fear was flowing. So, I relaxed into that and allowed myself to BE present to SEE and FEEL the chaos and conflicts of the COVID-19 crisis …

The challenges of our health care systems
The devastation of collective grief and loss
The conspiracy theories
The political agendas
The details of how the virus kills
The people acting out and/or pulling back in fear

Acknowledging the collective fears triggered my own, so I asked myself …

What am I afraid of?

I’m afraid of suffering more grief and loss. I’m afraid of the possibility of the virus being chemical warfare. I’m afraid of a war breaking out between China and America. I’m afraid of history repeating itself. I’m afraid of a revolution being triggered by fear. I’m afraid of things changing. I’m afraid of things staying the same. I’m afraid that social distancing and travel restrictions will be the new norm. I’m afraid to live in a world full of so much anxiety. I’m afraid of losing my freedom. I’m afraid of being manipulated and controlled. I’m afraid that people will fall victim to their fear. I’m afraid people won’t wake up. And I’m afraid to be alone during these uncertain times of change.

FUCK !!!

That’s a lot of fear for a fearless woman to be feeling, but I would be lying to myself if I denied those things. I know I’m not alone with some of those fears, which is why I’m being honest and transparent.

However, I am NOT, I repeat I am NOT sharing to feed your fears.

My intention is to shed some light onto how easy it is to unconsciously choose and respond in fear. And to show HOW we can shift from fear to LOVE during these uncertain times of change.

I consider my sharing to be a ‘duty of care’ because I have a responsibility to BE of service. As a Nurse/Carer, I serve to support the overall health and well-being of others. As a Clinical Counsellor, I serve to improve the mental health and emotional well-being of others. As a Writer, I serve to guide others on their individual journeys, by sharing mine. As a Light-worker, I serve to transmute dark energy, by transforming fear-based thoughts and feelings into light.

Regardless of what my job is, my work has (and does) involve being of service to others in some way. My journey has been (and continues to be) a gradual process of learning from my own personal and professional challenges. Therefore, as my own experiences change, so does the direction and intention of my work.

My professional and personal paths have always run parallel to each other, but my personal path has taken priority during my grieving process. A journey that continues to guide me even deeper into the human experience, which is why I lean into this crisis with a little more curiosity.

Although people are saying and sharing things that are reflective of LOVE and concern for one another, I can’t help but notice the unspoken fears.

Covid-19 has become another “C” word that automatically triggers fear.

Something to fight and/or avoid because it brings so much death and destruction, which is a natural response to something that threatens our existence. However, this unconscious fear then triggers phobic and addictive behaviours, as we focus on “surviving” this crisis. In that survival mode our irrational fears are more likely to be triggered. The fear of germs, the fear of hidden political agendas, the fear of each other, the fear of change and the fear of death. Although these are valid fears because germs, political agenda, change and death DO in fact exist, how we think about them becomes distorted.

In a fear response we lack the ability to see things clearly.

When we unconsciously respond in fear we get drawn into the “isolation story”

Those stories vary depending upon our own individual fears. For me it triggered fear of loosing my freedom, but for many it triggers fear of death and change. It’s our unconscious fear that then triggers our habitual coping mechanisms (addictions, substance abuse and obsessive compulsions etc).

As I thought about preparing for the worst, which is the possibility of war and a revolution (IF) we allow ourselves to be manipulated by the fear. Hoping for the best, which is the possibility of healing and a new world order (IF) we focus on balancing the polarity and integrating the sacred masculine and feminine. And living in the reality of what IS as we move through these uncertain times of change, an image of the FLOW came to mind.

the flow diagram

The chakras are representative of our energetic body, which are influenced by our thoughts and feelings. Unexpected change and/or disruptions to our life naturally interrupts our sense of balance, which tips us into the polarity. I notice how I fluctuate between polarities depending on the story I’m buying into. Either falling into the collective fear and political paranoia (or) loosing myself in Other Worldly possibilities. Although I drift between both polarities, I have BE-come more grounded in my reality. My challenge as a woman of extremes is to integrate the polarity. To BE-come a fully functioning person who is grounded and connected to Source energy.

BALANCED in my humanity and ALIGNED to my soul purpose

I keep my vibration high and hold this energetic frequency for others, by BE-ing brutally honest with myself and DOING the work. Surrendering to the call to openly share ALL of who I am. Failing, breaking, falling, burning and releasing as often as I need to. Knowing each rebirth gives rise to another version of myself.

And that’s when I realized I was birthing my Inner Medicine Woman.

Although our fate may be written in the stars, our destiny depends upon the choices we make, which is why I continue to dive into my INNER realms. To acknowledge my limiting and empowering beliefs, so I can be more conscious in my choices. Having sat with the discomfort of my fears for a few days now, I’ve come to realize that its not the Government who threaten to manipulate or control us.

Its our own fear !!!

YES, this is a global health crisis, but it’s also an opportunity for CHANGE.

I strongly believe that our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, energy and vibration manifests our experiences, that create our reality. So, during these uncertain times of change lets BE mindful not to fall victim to our fears. Don’t hand over your power to external forces, but take full responsibility for your experience and EMPOWER yourself to BE part of the solution. And lets CREATE a better world for us ALL.

I believe in YOU ❤

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