As a woman, I’ve asked myself that question often, and those who care about me frequently tell me to love my SELF more, but if we are being brutally honest

We ALL struggle to truly love ourselves.

Loving ourselves isn’t something we’ve been taught to do, it’s something we learn to do after suffering the consequences of our choices …

Have you noticed …

Saying NO makes us feel bad?

Disappointing someone makes us feel selfish?

Setting a boundary makes us feel guilty?

Resting makes us feel lazy?

Rejecting social norm makes us feel ashamed?

Challenging limiting beliefs makes us feel uncomfortable?

Standing in our truth makes us feel vulnerable?

Change makes us feel afraid?

Why do all of those feelings make it feel wrong?

Because we care about others, and sometimes putting our self first is seen to be a selfish act.

… but that doesnt make it right !!

We won’t improve the relationship we have with ourselves, and others if we don’t notice how our own thoughts make us feel.

I’m still learning how to truly love my SELF, and some lessons have left scars – because I haven’t always trusted my own intuition, honoured my own truth, respected my own feelings, valued my own time, regarded my own energy, and known my own worth … but that’s how I have learned to trust my own intuition, honour my own truth, respect my own feelings, value my own time, regard my own energy, and know my own worth, and when those lessons finally land …

EVERYTHING changes 🌀 but we still feel the wobbles of change 😵‍💫

Most of us have been practicing our versions of self love for years, but it’s about more than making healthier food choices, reducing stress, moving and stretching our bodies, looking after ourselves, improving our sleeping habits, bubble baths, lighting candles, rituals, crystals, aromatherapy, massage, meditations, filling our crown chakra with sunlight, bathing under the moon, eating our favourite foods, buying things we like for ourselves, reading books, listening to podcasts, and repeating positive affirmations.

It’s acknowledging our worth, reaffirming our value, and relating to others from there.

• TRUE LOVE embraces who we are – flaws and all
• TRUE LOVE forgives the past – but can still say NO thankyou
• TRUE LOVE doesn’t hold on in fear – because it’s forever flowing
• TRUE LOVE releases judgment – but it will hold us accountable
• TRUE LOVE speaks the truth – and trusts the process
• TRUE LOVE embraces the journey – and is open to experience it all

LOVE will ask us the harder questions …

• Have you changed the patterns that keep taking you back to the same experience – because you haven’t learned the lesson yet?
• Do you keep choosing relationships that make you feel unseen, unheard, unmet, unfulfilled, too much, and not enough?
• Do you abandon yourself to make everyone else feel comfortable?
• Do you say YES when your entire body wants to say NO?
• Does the need for validation keep pulling you back into the same loops?
• Do YOU have the courage to meet your SELF completely?

Have you processed and grown from everything you’ve experienced?

• The conditioning – programmed responses, and habitual reactions?
• The wound – trauma, abuse, and pain?
• The split – disconnection, imbalance and unalignment?
• The fear, grief, rejection, betrayal, abandonment, and neglect?
• The longing, yearning, missing and desire?
• The envy, jealousy, and insecurities?
• The dream, fantasy, illusions, and delusions?
• The anger, guilt, shame, regrets, and remorse?
• The unmet needs, shattered dreams, and unfulfilled desires?

I have – but I notice how I’ve been feeling lost in the reflection, and that’s the door I am closing – because those experiences have already served their purpose, and NOW is what matters most.

For me, TRUE LOVE is like vulnerability – because it sounds like TRUTH and it feels like COURAGE, but it isn’t something we find outside of ourselves – it’s something we feel within before we can truly experience it with another.

The core essence of who we are IS TRUE LOVE .. so it’s within YOU ❤️