A conversation playing in my head got me out of bed early this morning – because it feels like an important conversation to have, and that’s why I’m awake at 3am writing this blog, to share with those who feel called to read it.

This months energy has created some significant shifts within me, and I’ve been journaling about the process – because the Solar Eclipse and New Moon coinciding with the Lions Gate brought some interesting insights to share.

For me, the SOLAR ECLIPSE occurring in the northern hemisphere triggered stories about the divine masculine, the NEW MOON occurring in the southern hemisphere triggered stories about the divine feminine, and I felt both within me – because masculine energy is my logic and reason (head), and feminine energy is my emotions and intuition (heart).

We naturally move between these two states all day without realizing it – because masculine energy motivates us into action and helps us to get shit done (DO-ing), and feminine energy guides us IN to rest and re-set so we can better connect with others (BE-ing). Regardless of our gender, this relationship is something we ALL experience within us, and when we understand this, that relationship with SELF will influence every other relationship in our lives.

When our head and heart are in alignment …

we are in a sacred union with SELF ✨

As a woman, that’s why intimate relationship has challenged me so much, but the beautiful paradox of life is – when we fail, then we learn.

I have so many blessings to be grateful for, and I am …

… but why does grief still surface sometimes?

Well, life has been teaching me that no matter how we feel, both sides of a polarity exist, and that’s why I’ve been learning how to flow with the truth of my feelings, instead of choosing a side – because both can be true.

It’s normal to slide on this scale, and that’s how we learn to find our BALANCE, but we need to also feel a deeper CONNECTION with ourselves.

For example …

As a mother, my greatest joy is baring witness to my children’s happiness, as they grow together with their partners in love … so when my daughter shared her wonderful news the other day, I was so happy that her partner of (8) years had proposed to her when he did – because it reflects a beautiful alignment with this months Leo energy, and his courage of the heart.

I wanted to share this happiness with those closest to me, and I noticed how my mood shifted into feelings of sadness – because the first person I wanted to call was my Mam, and just like that I felt the grief of loss – a feeling that then triggered all the disappointments of my own love story.

That’s how easy it is to lose ourselves in the moment.

Being conscious of what was happening within me, allowed the truth of my feelings to flow with less resistance, and I was back in the moment with happiness again, and I felt grateful … but grief was still present.

Because I am still very much single with no current desire to change that relationship status, and my Mam still isn’t here.

Well, actually that isn’t entirely true …

Because after sending my sisters a message, Mam popped up in my FB newsfeed moments later. As promised – she’s still letting me know that she is ALWAYS with us, and as my sister said yesterday …

“Trace, she had front seat viewing of the proposal,” and we laughed.

Our shared grief became another special moment, the LOVE felt stronger than ever, and those are the moments I feel Mam’s presence the most.

Truth is, losing my parents and soul sister like we did, challenged me to change in ways I never expected, and I became someone I didn’t imagine I would BE – because my open heart took a few too many risks during a time of BIG change in my life, but grief and loss have provided some important insights.

NO, I am not the same woman I was last year, and I won’t be the same woman I am today next year either – because NEW experiences change us, and as a woman who is OPEN to change, I’m in a constant state of growth.

As I improve the relationship I have with my SELF, I notice how I’m relating to others with more presence – because I’m being even more honest with myself, and less reactive to my own triggers. Therefore, I’m less distracted by my own thoughts, and more connected with the truth in my own heart.

LOVE isn’t something we lose …

… it’s an enduring connection that transforms within us ✨