There’s always been many a heated debate about abortion, but America’s proposal of an anti-abortion law has social media in a frenzy.

As a woman and as a Mother with a Daughter, it’s a topic that concerns me. And having experienced an abortion at 18 years old, and having suffered the emotional consequences, its a conversation that matters to me.

Having worked through my own feelings of regret, guilt, shame, grief and loss, I don’t choose a side. As a woman of contradiction I choose life, but also respect a woman’s right to CHOOSE whatever is right for her.

I ask YOU …

Are YOU pro LIFE (or) pro CHOICE ?
If you choose LIFE, then ask yourself …
Are YOU pro PEACE (or) pro WAR ?
If you choose PEACE, then ask yourself …
Are YOU at peace with your choice ?

Choosing to have an abortion is NOT a simple YES or NO answer. I can guarantee you that most women agonize over the decision to abort a pregnancy. Yes, there are those who mindlessly use abortion as a form of birth control, which is why expanding upon sexual education is so VERY important. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it again and again.

It’s time to dump the SHAME around SEX

Instead of judging one another, let’s talk more openly about WHY men and women are having sex in the first place. Let’s talk more honestly about how we want to experience intimacy. Let’s talk more openly about how masturbation improves our relationship with ourselves. And for fucksakes let’s be willing to talk more honestly with each other about what our wants and needs are in relationship.

Is it such a radical theory, to suggest that as more men and women become more mindful of themselves and each other, then less people would need to be in the position of chosing abortion ?

Truth is, if a woman decides that an abortion is right for her, then she’ll do whatever it takes to DO it, so making it illegal puts her in danger.

In my opinion taking away a woman’s choice is taking a monumental step back into oppression.

YES, women are STILL being oppressed

Women are STILL being raped
Women are STILL being abused
Women are STILL being manipulated
Women are STILL being disrespected

This is not fiction, but TRUTHS !!!

Just because it’s not happening in YOUR world doesn’t mean it’s not happening in anothers. As Western women we have more rights and privileges.

But lets not forget why …

If it wasn’t for the battles fought in the past, then we wouldn’t have the “sense” of freedom we have today. However, our battles continue because we are STILL being manipulated by men in power with influence. Heck, in truth we’re being manipulated in relationships with wounded men. And as wounded women, we are giving our power away in the name of love.

I’m not interested in debating who is right or wrong because everyone’s experience is valid. In truth, if we dive deep enough into ourselves, we will find that we are ALL healing from historical and cultural patriarchal influences.

But let it be known …

That NO man has the right to guide our mind, body or worth. NO man has the right to tell us what’s right for us and NO man has the fucking right to abuse and disrespect our bodies …. EVER !!!

As men and women …

We ALL need to take full responsibility for our choices. We ALL benefit from being open minded enough to challenge our belief systems, change our thinking and expand upon our consciousness. And we ALL experience more love when we open up our hearts to fully FEEL life.

This is my understanding of HEALING ❤

So, I ask again …

Are YOU pro LIFE (or) pro CHOICE ?

I decided to get up early because I needed to stroll on one of my favourite beaches and witness the sunrise. I love this quiet little spot, which is why I took you here for your last sunrise. Memories of our walk together made me smile and cry because I felt your presence.

I sat amongst the rocks and gazed upon the water as the sun rose. Watching the swallows darting to and fro. I listened to one of my favourite songs. The one that opens up my heart and connects me with spirit. Tears fell as I felt life in all its beautiful glory and tragedy flowing through me. A feeling that made me smile and cry because I felt your presence.

As I walked back to the car, a man stepped onto the beach with his dog. The tall, dark and handsome type that captures any womans attention. His warm smile and good morning greeting made me blush. As I walked back to the car, I smiled because I felt your presence.

On the drive home a song played “Save all your kisses for me” and a memory came to mind. I seen you on the dance floor with your parents at our farewell party. The 3 of you embracing, dancing, singing, smiling and crying. A song that was sang by the Brotherhood of Man at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1976, when I was 3 years old. A beautiful message for your 3 daughters today on Mother’s Day …

The power of 3 😊

Whenever I witness the beauty, I find hope 🌞

Forever and Always

I LOVE YOU ❤

This week I’ve been struggling …

Most of the time I flow with what IS because my FAITH is strong, but the flow is easily disrupted. It only takes a little something to throw me off balance and into overwhelm.

Truth is, we are living our saddest chapter ever and NOTHING can change that hard truth.

No matter how positive we try to think
No matter how much we’re grateful for
No matter how many blessings we have

Our beloved Dad is still dying from cancer 💔

I apologize if my words hurt your heart.
I understand if you prefer to look away.
I even understand your need to avoid me.

Truth be told, my words hurt MY heart. I want to look away and at times I avoid myself.

Being in the hospice with Dad triggered some painful memories from the past. Because as we confront Dad’s end of life, we relive Mam’s.

It’s hard to be fully present in the NOW …

When we don’t want to be where we are
When we don’t want to see what we see
When we don’t want to feel how we feel

At times, it’s challenging to find the positives and it’s even harder to stay fucking strong !!!

Whenever my thoughts stray into the past, I ride the waves of grief, while trying my hardest to remain fully present in the moments. But how can the moments bring me peace when it feels like we are reliving the past ?

Whenever my thoughts wander off into the future, I experience waves of anxiety because of my fears and uncertainties. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever truly find peace of mind ?

My mind and body need deep-rest (usually known and experienced as depression). I am so very very tired. I want to stay in bed, sleep, switch off and loose myself in Netflex stories, go to the van and create a santuary to retreat to, be wrapped up in someones loving arms or loose myself in the blissful pleasures of sex.

Truth be told, I want to do ANYTHING but get up and confront the harsh realities of what IS.

I wonder …

WHY does the past bury itself so deeply inside of our hearts and minds ? And why the fuck don’t our fears just fuck the fuck off ?

Perhaps its because when we’re going through our most challenging times, we do whatever we can to get through it. And sometimes the only way we can get through it, is to NOT think about it, NOT process it and definitly NOT feel it. Maybe its because we’ve buried our truths ?

Truth is, if you’re like me, then you are learning how to SURRENDER and BE fully present when the moments are the most challenging.

I wonder …

HOW can we BE more present ?

Well, lets start by NOT telling each other to stay fucking strong when we’re struggling and be positive during the worst times of our lives.

LETS KEEP IT REAL !!!

I need your listening ears to hear my fears. Because I need to process and express any conflicting thoughts and feelings causing me inner tension, discomfort and distress.

YES, this will trigger YOUR inner conflicts ❤

I need a hug when I feel weak because I don’t always feel strong. Being held when I’m feeling overwhelmed makes me feel supported as I regain the strength I need to keep going.

YES, this will trigger YOUR vulnerability ❤

I need to BE and FEEL whatever flows without pretending that everything’s OK because my truth makes you uncomfortable. I need to be completely honest, otherwise I put on a mask for your comfort and that hurts me even more.

YES, this will trigger YOUR truth ❤

I need to be supported and encouraged to FEEL my experience without fear of being judged, misunderstood, criticized, rejected or abandoned by those who matter most to me.

YES, this will trigger YOUR woundings ❤

And sometimes, as much as I don’t want to be, sometimes I need to be alone in my most challenging moments. To live it, to process, to fully FEEL it and to break through my barriers.

So, this FULL MOON I ask myself …

What has surfaced to be seen ?
What am I holding onto ?
What is no longer serving me ?
What am I ready to release ?

No matter what our struggle is …

NOW is the time to RELEASE ourselves from mindless suffering, by OPENING up our hearts and minds to NEW possibilities. And allowing Universal energies to flow through us, so we can become the BEST version of ourselves.

Our lives are the NEW stories we need to read

Blessed BE to you ALL ❤

YES … I’m a tad excited … can ya tell ? 🤣

NO … we’re not having this for dinner 🤣

I’ve been eating clean for 7 days …

Breakfast – porridge with water & milk
Lunch – salads + protein (tuna, egg or bacon)
Dinner – veges + protein (meat, fish or chicken)

I’ve increased my water intake and only drinking tea (mostly dandelion root)

I weighed myself this morning and have lost 4.8kg. Being the visual person I am, I’m holding 3kg of potatoes and 1kg of carrots.

WOW … Imagine that much excess fluid and fat has been released from my body and I can honestly say, it hasn’t been difficult to do.

My sugar withdrawal only lasted one day and because I temporarily cut out sugar and carbs completely, I haven’t been tortured by cravings.
My appetite has reduced, my energy levels and motivation have increased and I feel GOOD !!!

It’s Easter Sunday tomorrow and Dad’s bought a stash of chocolate for our annual egg dump. I’m not sure if I’m gonna indulge because I know once I put sugar back into my body, I’ll begin to crave again. So, while I’m seeing such positive results I may keep going as I am 😊

PS … I’m not sharing to brag !!!

My intention is to inspire ❤

A Sunday morning mind orgasm for ya …

We are not the thoughts that we think
We are not the emotions that we feel

Our thoughts and emotions serve to navigate us on the journey of our human experience.

We are a pure energy
We are immortal
We are part of Nature
We are part of Universe
We are as ONE with the Source
We are in essence, the magic 🌟

Our greatest challenge in this life time is to find the core of who we are. Uncovering the truth of our coexistence so we can live in harmony.

YES, we are the change we seek in this world.

We are peeling away what we’ve been told and rediscovering what we know. We are breaking free from our minds and trusting in the truth of our hearts. We are being guided home to heal.

What if I told you that ” Every woman that heals herself, helps to heal all women that came before her and all those to come after her ”

What if I told you that all relationships trigger us because they serve to guide us deeper into our truth, so we can balance our energies.

Would you walk through this world with more intention ? ? ? Would you live your life with more deliberation ? ? ? Would you open up to life and love with complete abandonment ? ? ?

To believe in the magic, is to believe in yourself

Life, is all about the journey ❤

It was a FULL MOON last night and it fell on Equinox. I fell asleep feeling completely drained. My energy was at ground zero. Then I awoke feeling somewhat reflective. So I wrote …

As an awakening conscious woman, I’m often misunderstood. Truth is, how can you know who I am and what I want, when my own understanding of self is forever changing and expanding?

I no longer align with out dated beliefs about the happily ever after fairytale kinda love. The Damzel in distress is no longer waiting for her knight in shining armour to rescue her. Our stories are changing. We are exploring our distress.

What does a conscious woman want ?
What does an awakened woman need ?

She wants you to drop the defences and needs you to be fully PRESENT with her in the moment, even when the moment is messy. The woman who loves YOU wants you to get out of your head, step into your heart and share your truth with her.

She doesn’t want to avoid your shadow !!!

She wants to bring all doubt, fear, insecurity, grief, anxiety and wounds to the surface to be seen. She wants to see ALL of you and she needs you to see ALL of her. So that the energy of love can be fully expressed through you.

She wants you to OPEN up your heart

She doesn’t need a relationship to feel loved, nor does she need a man to complete her. She SELF loves and balances her own energies to feel whole. And she wants to be in relationship with a man who does this too.

She believes that love isn’t something to be found, but an expression of SELF

A conscious woman won’t need you but if she CHOOSES to walk through life with you, then you will experience the magic with her.

… and NEW stories will be written ❤

As most of you know, Dad’s been in hospital with multiple spinal fractures, getting his pain under control. So, we’re riding a rollercoaster of emotions because it’s another reminder of a harsh reality, we would rather not confront.

No matter what, Dad continues to face what comes with immense courage. And my sisters continue to be the amazing women they are. Supporting Dad and keeping me up to date.

As for me, I continue to feel torn between the life I’m trying to create in the UK, and my need to be with my family in Australia during times like this. An inner tension that created conflict and an abrupt ending to our relationship

Something I’ve been reflecting over …

Maybe I walked away too quickly?
Perhaps he let me go too easily?

But although our similarities compliment us and our differences challenge us, being in a relationship has been far from easy. Truth is, our relationship began during the worst time of my life and life doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.

Maybe that’s why I walked away too quickly?
Perhaps that’s why he let me go so easily?

Fortunately I was between contracts, so I headed north, seeking the support I needed to just BE the mighty mess I was. To allow myself to break down and fully FEEL what was rising.

The last 5 days have been turbulant !!!

But as I navigated through my inner world (my deeper most thoughts & feelings) during a NEW Moon when Mercury is in Retrograde …

I noticed something …

My inner Bridget isn’t dwelling in the usual soundtrack, “All by my self” feeling forsaken. Instead, she’s becoming better aquainted with her wounded self. The part of me that needs healing by my own love and compassion.

Hmmmmmmm 🤔

Is this the break through I needed?
Is this the healing I wanted?

I’m back on contract, in a much better mindset but still riding the waves. Focusing on the job, honouring what rises and preparing for my trip back to my family in Australia.

If you’re also navigating through turbulent times, then please don’t give up on love.

TRUST the process

…. and may the force be with YOU ❤

My daughter and I were talking about Other Worldly magic yesterday. I shared some of my conversations with spirit and afew of Mam’s spiritual experiences. Reminding us both about the magic that flows within and around us.

After our conversation I pondered 🤔

As a family, we each ride our own waves of grief, yet we share in the same loss because the same special someone is missing from our lives 💔 Even though I believe Mam’s still with us in spirit, there’s still so much to miss about Marjorie Fletcher because she was such a BIG part of our lives. She was the matriach of our family and loosing her shattered the world as we knew it and EVERYTHING has changed !!!

None of us are the same person we once were

Perhaps that’s the point ?

Loss being the kind of change we DON’T want to experience, yet must learn to accept. 

Hmmmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

Admittedly, I choose to focus on the CHANGE more than the loss itself. I make this choice consciously because my intention is growth.

But change and growth isn’t always easy !!!

Whenever I’m confronted with a challenging experience, I seek to understand how and why it’s changing me. I’m often told I dive TOO deep and I think TOO much, but I seek to understand the influence we have on each other and how it changes our worlds because I believe …

” WE are the change we seek in this world ”

As a collective, we can ALL resonate with the pain of loosing someone we love. And that’s what motivates me to share some of my own personal tensions, realizations, conflicts,  challenges and insights. I write because it helps me to process my experience. I share to support others on their journey, and to make others feel less alone in their own struggles.

Truth is, sometimes I’m a right fucking mess !!!

…. and there’s no shame in admitting that ❤

As I process and feel my way through grieving the loss of Mam and adjusting to a new life, here in the UK without my family and friends, I notice how I sometimes struggle with myself.

Life IS a wonderful adventure, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by my thoughts and feelings.

…. and there’s no shame in admitting that ❤

Our parent’s terminal cancer diagnosis, Mam’s death and Dad’s ongoing fight has forced us to dig deep. To confront and transcend our worst fears and live a life that continues to challenge us. Like you, I’m not immume to dark thoughts, heavy emotions and bad moods. But I notice my struggle whenever I’m conflicted between old limiting beliefs and my truth, which provides me with an opportunity to choose.

I either fall back into old habits (or) respond in a new way and I don’t always choose wisely !!!

…. and there’s no shame in admitting that ❤

Sometimes my unhealthier coping strategies and defence mechanisms drag me back. But like all of our habitual changes, recognizing our inner tensions and conflicts reflects growth.

Breaking free from the limitations of my mind, and expanding my consciousness is a process that continues to challenge me. I notice how I begin to question my reality and rationalize the unfathomable whenever my mind doesn’t fully understand what it is that I’m experiencing.

Some of my experiences are Other Worldly and like any writer, these are the experiences that motivate me to write and share my stories.

☆˜”*❊დ❊˚✲.✲ ‿.✲˚⁀❊დ❊*”˜☆ ƸӜƷ ☆ ~•~•☆ I want YOU to experience the magic 😊

“Sometimes we have to die a little inside, to rise a stronger and wiser version of ourself ”

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

I appreciate how loss is an opportunity to learn deeper truths about love. I appreciate how my professional challenges provide opportunities to learn and enhance my skills. I appreciate how my personal struggles guide me inwards to better understand myself. I appreciate how our relationship triggers are opportunities to deepen intimacy. I can and DO fully appreciate how loss, challenges, struggles and triggers are essential to our healing and growth.

However …

I don’t always like what surfaces to be seen and I don’t always want to show and share it.

My dilemma being …

Suppressing my truth creates an inner tension and expressing my truth can create conflict.

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

I’ve reached a stage in my life where I can no longer avoid myself, even when I want to.

Suppressing my truth brings me a sense of discomfort. I suppose, having a preventative focus and having explored the many variables of health and wellness, I can fully appreciate how a lack of ease or harmony within the body, can be a source of dis-ease, which is why I no longer avoid or fear conflict.

But I’m still a work in progress …

Although I’m learning to appreciate how my inner tension guides me towards conflicting truths, which I see as an opportunity to communicate more honestly with myself and others. Conflict also triggers our shadows, which is something we unconsciously want to avoid, deny and hide from each other.

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

Like every break through, the break down I had last week had been slowly building up to it’s gradual climax. My experience of loss, professional challenges, personal struggles and relationship triggers were my undoing.

Truth is, I’m not always as strong as I seem !!!

Whenever I struggle with the presence of shadow, whether it be my own or someone elses. I notice the conflict between the WANT to run, hide, avoid, deny, shut down and suppress and the NEED to stay open, expose and express our truest thoughts and feelings.

I don’t feel the need to publicly share details of my professional challenges, personal struggles and relationship triggers because my intention is to share the process of change itself.

What is our shadow self ?

Our shadow is the unknown darker side of our psyche. The parts we deny exists and prefer to hide from others. It includes: repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, desires, weaknesses, perversions and embarrassing fears. And it represents wildness, chaos and the unknown.

When we deny our shadow, we act shady !!!

Shadow behavior is the biggest block to our best self and greatest cause of our suffering, which is why shadow work is so important.

YES, we are beings of love and light, but we cannot deny our shadow or avoid the darkness in others because like it or not, they both exist.

Our greatest challenge is transforming ALL energy into higher frequencies of love & light.

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

The EGO naturally defends itself, by denying our shadow, while projecting it onto others.

EGO being the part of our mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious. It’s responsible for the opinions we have about ourselves. And it senses and adapts to our ever changing reality. So, as we become more conscious of ourselves, we also become more aware of our internal conscious shifts. It can feel like a part of us is dying … because it is !!!

“Sometimes we have to die a little inside, to rise a stronger and wiser version of ourself ”

TRUST the process of change and growth ❤

I’ve been struggling with myself over the last few days. Another opportunity presented itself and I said “NO thankyou” 🤔

I wondered …

Why aren’t I seizing the opportunity?
What is the right path for me?

And I started to doubt myself and my direction

My thoughts have been messy
My emotions have been overwhelming
My energy has been low

Yesterday, I woke feeling like my body was out of alignment and emotional sensitivity that had me feeling way TOO damn much at once !!!

The last few days I’ve been surfing my feelings like waves, doing my best to flow with each rise and fall without drowning. Listening to music when I walked helped me to connect and flow with my feelings. Writing helped me to make sense of my messy thoughts. Mindful masturbation helped my creative energy flow.

I knoooow, any excuse for a fiddle 🤣

Yesterday, a bee buzzed around the window sill on his back. My heart felt his struggle, so I flipped him over and took him outside, where he flew off happily … and I smiled ☺

As I walked, listening to music, I thought how bizzare it is that whenever I feel the most alone on my path, I feel a stronger sense of spirit and Mam’s presence. I looked down and noticed a small white feather … and I smiled ☺

I believe synchronicities are meaningful coincidences and conversations with spirit. I believe that nothing happens by chance. Everything serving a purpose for the greater good when we walk a road less travelled.

Last night I had a restless night of dreamings, but woke feeling a little more confident in my choices and more certain of my direction.

Acknowledging that opportunities have been an opportunity for me to clarify my intention. To stay focused on my BIGGER dreams.

While sitting at the kitchen table this morning, sipping on my cuppa, I soaked up the beauty. Frost on the ground, a clear blue sky, the warm sun shining, birds and squirrels busily going to and fro, deer in the far fields and I had my very first sighting of a beautiful red fox

Today I’ve had some discomfort in my womb, suggesting my hormones are flowing intune with this months wolf FULL MOON eclipse.

My she wolf dances in the woods may have had more significance than I realized. I’ve prewarned my collegue that I’m setting my alarm for tonights eclipse and I may feel the urge to dance naked in the woods 🤣