My daughter and I were talking about Other Worldly magic yesterday. I shared some of my conversations with spirit and afew of Mam’s spiritual experiences. Reminding us both about the magic that flows within and around us.

After our conversation I pondered 🤔

As a family, we each ride our own waves of grief, yet we share in the same loss because the same special someone is missing from our lives 💔 Even though I believe Mam’s still with us in spirit, there’s still so much to miss about Marjorie Fletcher because she was such a BIG part of our lives. She was the matriach of our family and loosing her shattered the world as we knew it and EVERYTHING has changed !!!

None of us are the same person we once were

Perhaps that’s the point ?

Loss being the kind of change we DON’T want to experience, yet must learn to accept. 

Hmmmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

Admittedly, I choose to focus on the CHANGE more than the loss itself. I make this choice consciously because my intention is growth.

But change and growth isn’t always easy !!!

Whenever I’m confronted with a challenging experience, I seek to understand how and why it’s changing me. I’m often told I dive TOO deep and I think TOO much, but I seek to understand the influence we have on each other and how it changes our worlds because I believe …

” WE are the change we seek in this world ”

As a collective, we can ALL resonate with the pain of loosing someone we love. And that’s what motivates me to share some of my own personal tensions, realizations, conflicts,  challenges and insights. I write because it helps me to process my experience. I share to support others on their journey, and to make others feel less alone in their own struggles.

Truth is, sometimes I’m a right fucking mess !!!

…. and there’s no shame in admitting that ❤

As I process and feel my way through grieving the loss of Mam and adjusting to a new life, here in the UK without my family and friends, I notice how I sometimes struggle with myself.

Life IS a wonderful adventure, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by my thoughts and feelings.

…. and there’s no shame in admitting that ❤

Our parent’s terminal cancer diagnosis, Mam’s death and Dad’s ongoing fight has forced us to dig deep. To confront and transcend our worst fears and live a life that continues to challenge us. Like you, I’m not immume to dark thoughts, heavy emotions and bad moods. But I notice my struggle whenever I’m conflicted between old limiting beliefs and my truth, which provides me with an opportunity to choose.

I either fall back into old habits (or) respond in a new way and I don’t always choose wisely !!!

…. and there’s no shame in admitting that ❤

Sometimes my unhealthier coping strategies and defence mechanisms drag me back. But like all of our habitual changes, recognizing our inner tensions and conflicts reflects growth.

Breaking free from the limitations of my mind, and expanding my consciousness is a process that continues to challenge me. I notice how I begin to question my reality and rationalize the unfathomable whenever my mind doesn’t fully understand what it is that I’m experiencing.

Some of my experiences are Other Worldly and like any writer, these are the experiences that motivate me to write and share my stories.

☆˜”*❊დ❊˚✲.✲ ‿.✲˚⁀❊დ❊*”˜☆ ƸӜƷ ☆ ~•~•☆ I want YOU to experience the magic 😊

“Sometimes we have to die a little inside, to rise a stronger and wiser version of ourself ”

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

I appreciate how loss is an opportunity to learn deeper truths about love. I appreciate how my professional challenges provide opportunities to learn and enhance my skills. I appreciate how my personal struggles guide me inwards to better understand myself. I appreciate how our relationship triggers are opportunities to deepen intimacy. I can and DO fully appreciate how loss, challenges, struggles and triggers are essential to our healing and growth.

However …

I don’t always like what surfaces to be seen and I don’t always want to show and share it.

My dilemma being …

Suppressing my truth creates an inner tension and expressing my truth can create conflict.

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

I’ve reached a stage in my life where I can no longer avoid myself, even when I want to.

Suppressing my truth brings me a sense of discomfort. I suppose, having a preventative focus and having explored the many variables of health and wellness, I can fully appreciate how a lack of ease or harmony within the body, can be a source of dis-ease, which is why I no longer avoid or fear conflict.

But I’m still a work in progress …

Although I’m learning to appreciate how my inner tension guides me towards conflicting truths, which I see as an opportunity to communicate more honestly with myself and others. Conflict also triggers our shadows, which is something we unconsciously want to avoid, deny and hide from each other.

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

Like every break through, the break down I had last week had been slowly building up to it’s gradual climax. My experience of loss, professional challenges, personal struggles and relationship triggers were my undoing.

Truth is, I’m not always as strong as I seem !!!

Whenever I struggle with the presence of shadow, whether it be my own or someone elses. I notice the conflict between the WANT to run, hide, avoid, deny, shut down and suppress and the NEED to stay open, expose and express our truest thoughts and feelings.

I don’t feel the need to publicly share details of my professional challenges, personal struggles and relationship triggers because my intention is to share the process of change itself.

What is our shadow self ?

Our shadow is the unknown darker side of our psyche. The parts we deny exists and prefer to hide from others. It includes: repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, desires, weaknesses, perversions and embarrassing fears. And it represents wildness, chaos and the unknown.

When we deny our shadow, we act shady !!!

Shadow behavior is the biggest block to our best self and greatest cause of our suffering, which is why shadow work is so important.

YES, we are beings of love and light, but we cannot deny our shadow or avoid the darkness in others because like it or not, they both exist.

Our greatest challenge is transforming ALL energy into higher frequencies of love & light.

Hmmmmm 🤔 she ponders

The EGO naturally defends itself, by denying our shadow, while projecting it onto others.

EGO being the part of our mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious. It’s responsible for the opinions we have about ourselves. And it senses and adapts to our ever changing reality. So, as we become more conscious of ourselves, we also become more aware of our internal conscious shifts. It can feel like a part of us is dying … because it is !!!

“Sometimes we have to die a little inside, to rise a stronger and wiser version of ourself ”

TRUST the process of change and growth ❤

I’ve been struggling with myself over the last few days. Another opportunity presented itself and I said “NO thankyou” 🤔

I wondered …

Why aren’t I seizing the opportunity?
What is the right path for me?

And I started to doubt myself and my direction

My thoughts have been messy
My emotions have been overwhelming
My energy has been low

Yesterday, I woke feeling like my body was out of alignment and emotional sensitivity that had me feeling way TOO damn much at once !!!

The last few days I’ve been surfing my feelings like waves, doing my best to flow with each rise and fall without drowning. Listening to music when I walked helped me to connect and flow with my feelings. Writing helped me to make sense of my messy thoughts. Mindful masturbation helped my creative energy flow.

I knoooow, any excuse for a fiddle 🤣

Yesterday, a bee buzzed around the window sill on his back. My heart felt his struggle, so I flipped him over and took him outside, where he flew off happily … and I smiled ☺

As I walked, listening to music, I thought how bizzare it is that whenever I feel the most alone on my path, I feel a stronger sense of spirit and Mam’s presence. I looked down and noticed a small white feather … and I smiled ☺

I believe synchronicities are meaningful coincidences and conversations with spirit. I believe that nothing happens by chance. Everything serving a purpose for the greater good when we walk a road less travelled.

Last night I had a restless night of dreamings, but woke feeling a little more confident in my choices and more certain of my direction.

Acknowledging that opportunities have been an opportunity for me to clarify my intention. To stay focused on my BIGGER dreams.

While sitting at the kitchen table this morning, sipping on my cuppa, I soaked up the beauty. Frost on the ground, a clear blue sky, the warm sun shining, birds and squirrels busily going to and fro, deer in the far fields and I had my very first sighting of a beautiful red fox

Today I’ve had some discomfort in my womb, suggesting my hormones are flowing intune with this months wolf FULL MOON eclipse.

My she wolf dances in the woods may have had more significance than I realized. I’ve prewarned my collegue that I’m setting my alarm for tonights eclipse and I may feel the urge to dance naked in the woods 🤣

What we want isn’t always what we need and what we want isn’t always meant for us.

Our resistance to what IS causes us to suffer.

We resist the flow because we don’t want to let go of what was. We try to convince ourselves that love is the reason why we are holding on, when in reality it’s our fear of the unknown.

But …

Some things aren’t meant to work out.
Some doors are supposed to stay closed. Some bridges are meant to burn.
Some relationships are destined to fail.
Some jobs no longer serve our purpose.
Some experiences are supposed to hurt us.
Some people come to teach us.

Life is forever changing and loss is merely a construct of our own minds. In truth, every ending is an opportunity for a new beginning.

Its up to us to learn how to recognize when we’re resisting the flow. To trust the flow of life and allow ourselves to experience the magic.

Always remember that YOU are the love that you seek ❤ and the magic lies within YOU 🌟

I’m the kinda woman who wanders off into the woods alone. I love to walk amongst the trees and sit with the nature spirits. The forest tickles my senses and nourishes my soul.

This afternoon I stepped into some red wellington boots, slipped on my favourite jacket of many colours, put on my winter fur, selected some music and wandered off into the woods at the bottom of the property.

As I walked, I listened to the melody playing from my earphones, and my body soon began to move to the beat. It was the kinda rhythms that made my soul feel like dancing.

Once in the woods, I danced between the trees, loosing myself in the music. Dancing like no one was watching and feeling joy in my heart.

I was fully present in the moments. Noticing squirrels darting to and fro. Birds of pray hovering overhead. Trees swaying in the wind. The waxing crescent moon playing peekaboo with the clouds. And a small deer running across the meadow, heading towards me. I must have captured his curiosity because he came in for a closer look, before skipping off.

As I danced, I thought about the story of Little Red Riding Hood, who was afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. I thought about how often I’ve been told not to wander off too far from the path alone. I thought about how many times I’ve been too afraid to loose myself in the woods. As I danced, I thought about the stories we are writing about fearless women. As I danced, my inner wild woman awoke and I felt she wolf energy flowing through and radiating from me.

I am WOMAN …
watch me RISE and hear my ROAR !!!

The distortions of witch, crone and hag has had a huge impact on who we “think” we are and how we experience ourselves in this world.

Ever wondered why the patriachy wanted to distort who and what women really were ?

I have often pondered over this 🤔

Although, I absolutely agree and believe that what we do NOW is the most important, sometimes we DO need to look back into the past. Because it helps us understand how our history has shaped us. I believe that this is how we increase our self awareness, deepen our understanding, broaden our perspectives and learn from our past experiences.

In the past men have feared the connection women have with Spirit, Nature and Universe.

But we were created to have this connection.

Its our ability to grow life within our wombs that connects us with the Source of Creation.

We birth life and at times experience death through our body. We become acutely aware of the life force (energy) that flows through us.

As women we intuitively know that Nature heals and we  have innate natures to nurture.

Over the years we’ve been led to believe that women were less than, witches were evil and old women were useless. Women have (and still are) being used, abused and murdered. We have (and still) fight for and defend our rights.

Hardly surprising that we often struggle to live fully in our truth, when we’ve been devalued for centuries. But, as our individual experiences change, so does our collective experience.

We are ALL healing from the past ❤

As we heal our personal wounds, masculine and feminine energies begin to flow with a little more ease. We begin to experience ourselves differently and interaction with other changes.

Neither matriach or patriach, masculine or feminine, male or female seeking power and control, but both striving for BALANCE.

NOW is the time to stand confidently in your power and share YOUR kinda magic with the world … WE are WOMAN … and we RISE 🌟

Ive been reflecting over a blog I wrote 3 years ago, about people pleasing 3 years ago. Reflecting over some inner conflict I’ve been experiencing over the festive season. My struggle with over drinking and eating and how it impacts negatively on my mind and body.

Although I still choose to overindulge at times, I struggle more with the consequences.

When I drink too much booze, my mind isn’t clear and my writing doesn’t flow. When I eat too much food, my body feels heavy and my energy doesn’t flow, then I start to feel BAD !!!

I don’t want to feel bad, so I know I need to make different choices to feel good, but for me to feel good, I sometimes displease others 🤔

This Christmas, I’ve said NO and noticed the reactions of others, which has triggered me.

I wonder …

Why the fuck do we abuse our bodys?
When and how did overindulgance become the Christmas social norm to be expected?
Why are our self loving choices challenged?

Cognitive dissonance reflects CHANGE !!!

Although the inner tensions and conflicts still cause me discomfort, I appreciate the process and do my very best to flow with what surfaces without being too reactive to my triggers.

Sometimes I struggle with myself and that’s when I need to give myself time and space to reflect, to feel, to release and to understand.

Over the last few days, my emotions have been flowing because I feel a sense of inner conflict.

I’m where I want and need to be BUT I miss my family and friends. I believe in spirit BUT I miss my Mam. I’m excited about the possibilities of the future BUT I’m afraid of what’s possible. I believe in oneness BUT sonetimes I feel alone.

This is MY truth ❤

Over the past few days, I’ve been feeling unwell. So, I dove in to explore my inner world, drawing upon metaphysical theories because they align with my beliefs about health and well being.

Sinus is connected to our 3rd eye chakra, which influences our ability to think clearly (imagination, intuition, wisdom and awareness). I’ve already identified my inner conflict, how drinking too much impacts on my writing flow. So, I ask myself …

What do I need to RELEASE?

A limited belief?
An unexpressed thought?
A surpressed emotion?
A toxic habit?
An old pattern?

Yes, I believe that our physical symptoms are a manifestation of an inner tension/conflict, inbalance or a block of energy flow, which may be connected to any of the above …

But lets dive a little deeper ☺

As our consciousness expands, we become more aware of our being …

We not only have 7 main energy centres (chakra), as multidimensional beings we have 7 layers that radiate from us …

Our PHYSICAL body, which is 3rd dimensional matter. Our EMOTIONAL body, which is how we express our needs and self regulate (feelings). Our MENTAL body, which how we make sense of our world and create new realities (mind: our beliefs and thoughts). Our ASTRAL body, which is our life force (spirit). Our ETHERIC body, which is our energy field (aura). Our CELESTIAL body, which is our connection to the Universal energies (Moon, Sun and stars). And our KETHERIC body, our connection to the Divine (Source of ALL Creation) and this is considered to be the blueprint of our spiritial path.

I believe in our journey towards SELF LOVE ❤ because its the source of our HEALING 🌟

Since Mam’s passing, I believe this more than ever because she still watches over and supports me. It’s more than the memories that I will ALWAYS cherish and the FOREVER love I feel. Our conversations continue, but I’m learning to notice how she communicates.

No … I’m not crazy !!! … well maybe a little 🤣

Trust me, I don’t go looking for anything, but I am open to new experiences. And when I do have a new experience, I explore it, because it helps me to learn from it and it deepens my understanding. I’ve always been someone who needs to experience things for herself. It’s a personality trait that has driven my parents bonkers over the years. I don’t accept things I’m told as truth. I question what I read and I’m often challenged by my new experiences.

Sometimes I doubt what I sense because it’s harder to believe those things we can’t hear, see, touch, smell or taste. Perhaps that’s why our 6th sense is often disregarded and our connection to spirit & Source goes unnoticed?

Maybe that’s why Mam communicates through my senses? A whispering in my ear, an obvious sign I see, a synchronicity of divine timing or a dream. Perhaps she knows that having the “sense” she’s with me isn’t enough to believe?

Mam and I spoke alot about her beliefs and experiences with spirit over the years. Being the 7th daughter, her blind Grandmother, who had the gift of sight, said she had the gift too.

I believe we are all born with the gift of 6th sense, but some of us struggle to reaccess it.

Regardless of being raised by a woman, who openly shared her experiences with spirit. My own life experiences and social conditionings have and did disconnect me from the magic of Universe. It’s been a loooong journey home ❤

Truth is, none of us know for certain what happens after death, which is why we fear it. None of us know for certain if we have a spirit or a soul that never dies, which is why we doubt it. None of us knows for certain if our sense of spirit is real, which is why we question it. None of us know for certain what or who the Source of ALL Creation is, which is why we continue to explore, theorize and debate it.

I believe that life is far too complicated to just end. The cycles of Nature and the existance of a Universe, that expands far beyond our limited understanding of time and space, is enough to tickle my Wanderlusting curiousities.

What if, the spirit of our loved ones reconnects with Nature and Universe, What if, this IS the energy we are connecting and flowing with?

Maybe experiences since Mam’s passing are just a natural response to my need to feel her? Perhaps my new sense of reality is just a fabrication of my own mind? Maybe I want to believe she lives on in spirit, because I refuse to accept that it’s the end of her existance?

OR …

Maybe, just maybe there IS something more 🌟

I choose to live MY life mindfully
Consciously aware of myself
Fully present in the moments
Aware of my thoughts as they flow
Identifying any limited beliefs that limit me
Aware of my emotions as they rise and fall
Allowing the full expression of their presence
Aware of the energy I bring to my interactions
Acknowledging any blockages to the flow
Aware of how I feel in the company of others
Taking full responsibility for my own feelings
Aware of how others trigger or comfort me
Taking full responsibility for my own thoughts
Aware of how I trigger or comfort others
Taking no ownership for their experience
Witessing the beauty of Nature
Noticing the synchronicities of spirit
Sharing the magic of Universe
I choose to live life more fully
By embracing both spectrums of the polarity
The light and the dark
Neither being defined as “good” nor “bad”
Every experience valued for what it is
This is how I live MY life mindfully ❤

I choose to live MY life mindfully
Consciously aware of myself
Fully present in the moments
Aware of my thoughts as they flow
Identifying any limited beliefs that limit me
Aware of my emotions as they rise and fall
Allowing the full expression of their presence
Aware of the energy I bring to my interactions
Acknowledging any blockages to the flow
Aware of how I feel in the company of others
Taking full responsibility for my own feelings
Aware of how others trigger or comfort me
Taking full responsibility for my own thoughts
Aware of how I trigger or comfort others
Taking no ownership for their experience
Witessing the beauty of Nature
Noticing the synchronicities of spirit
Sharing the magic of Universe
I choose to live life more fully
By embracing both spectrums of the polarity
The light and the dark
Neither being defined as “good” nor “bad”
Every experience valued for what it is
This is how I live MY life mindfully ❤