Sitting on the beach last night, alone with my sorrow and insecurities, I felt HELD ❤ Perhaps it was the warm presence of spirit ?

Sometimes I wish I had the gift of sight. The ability to SEE who sits and walks with me. Oh Mam, how I long to look up and see your face.

Although we shared, there’s still so much left unsaid between us. I miss our conversations about life and love. I’m struggling to shake the regrets from my mind, that continue to torture me. What if you’re the only one who can release me from my suffering ? Will this cold dark of night ever leave my side ? Will I ever feel the warmth of the sun on my heart again ?

Yesterday, I felt the familiar sting of loss and rejection, that triggered my fears and brought a sense of chaos in my mind. Shared truths that created distance and space for other feelings to arise from the depths of my being. Like a wounded child, I sought comfort from my Mam

Hold me 💔

” It’s good to also be aware that Virgo transits can cause us to be more critical than usual – of ourselves & others. So be mindful of how you share your observations, feedback & suggestions with others. ”

I often fail in my interactions because I’m not mindful enough. I wish I’d read Tanishka’s moon wisdoms yesterday. Maybe it would have given me a broader perspective into my feelings and a deeper understanding into my thoughts. Perhaps my conversations would have been more loving and less critical. Maybe I could have avoided the sting of rejection and loss that brought rise to my deeper wounds.

But what if those mindless interactions take us to where we need to go ? To bring our deeper truths from the darkest parts of our hearts 💔

The “Strong Woman”

I have tried to be her and I’m surrounded by many woman like her

BUT I REFUSE TO BE THIS WOMAN !!!

My resistance to accept her continues to create tension within me that I need to share. Because not only have I tried to be the “Strong Woman” but I notice how most people want me to be her. Repeatedly I have heard the phrase “Be Strong” and I’ll be honest with you, it started to really fucking piss me off.

People with the best of intentions are saying stuff that’s triggering this kind of woman into her feelings. For me it happened like this …

“Be strong for your Mam” as my sisters and I watched her dying before our very eyes. “Be strong for your Dad” when she died. Words that made my hurting heart scream !!!

After a conversation with a friend yesterday, I recognized how the anger rising in my belly was triggering my power centre. An inner conflict that was my catharsis for change.

We NEED tension and conflict for CHANGE to occur in our lives, so embrace it, its a gift ❤

Truth is, the strong woman isn’t being authentic because she’s faking it.

She’s faking the smiles for YOUR benefit. She’s surpressing her truth to make YOU feel more comfortable. She isn’t open to fully feel the flow of life because although she may be true to herself, she’s not bringing that truth to the interactions she has with others.

I REFUSE TO BE THIS WOMAN !!!

Truth is, I am NOT strong during those times when life is breaking my heart open.

I AM softened, sensitive and vulnerable

My strength comes from enduring the pain that demands to be felt. So please don’t tell me to be strong when I need to FEEL emotion as it arises because that hinders my healing.

I ASPIRE TO BE A WOMAN OF STRENGTH !!!

Because I strongly believe that our ability to sit with our vulnerabilities and share our uglier truths, is how we have more integrity and stay OPEN to living a more authentic life.

Keep it REAL and HEAL ❤

Universe sure does work in wonderful ways ☺
When it comes to love, there’s an experience that I’ve never been able to fully understand or explain. A connection that was starting to make a little more sense in my own mind, until I began re-feeding the fears and creating unnecessary drama, which was depleting my energy. As thoughts stirred and emotions flowed, something shifted within me energetically, that I’ve been sitting with. Unsure and still feeling a little frustrated because although there’s always been a sense of knowing, I still haven’t been able to fully understand my experience. Laying here tonight, alone with my thoughts with even more wonderings, I decided to open facey and an article from this woman captured my attention. And suddenly things start to make a little more sense … Gratitudes and Appreciations for your guidance Universe, my soul appreciates the support from spirit ❤

Authentic spiritual healing brings us closer to ourselves and the Source of Creation. We feel this deep within when our energy flows. We feel connected to self, others, Nature and Universe.

This kind of healing touches our deepest wounds and brings us face to face with our greatest fears. We FEEL SAFE TO FEEL life intensely.

Life breaks us open

We ride the waves and flow to the beat of life’s pulse.

Its about honesty

Transformation doesnt require us to relive our pain but to accept what was. Being who we are now and creating the future we dream about. Guiding through our fears, resistance, anger, desperation, jealousy, darkness, pain and frustrations. Deeper insights into our own experiences. Transforming energy not yet seen.

Opens our hearts

Not about cutting parts out but helps us to understand and honour those parts until we can bring enough energy to return twisted patterns, beliefs and energy to original loving intent.

We feel more self acceptance even about our non acceptance. Opens up to feel raw vulnerabilities and possibilities

Transforms our experiences

Subtly or Profoundly

Addresses issues at the Source

Struggle ends and we begin to create new experiences. We are free

Hello darkness my old friend 🌚

I haven’t slept much tonight because my moon flow had other intentions. When my energy is flowing with the natural cycles of Universe, I notice how my menstral cycle occurs during the New moon. Something I feel compelled to write about and share with other Goddesses.

Every month the moon circles the Earth, casting shadows. A cycle that influences a woman’s mind, body and soul.

Its no coincidence that both women and Luna have a 28 day cycle. Women are created to flow with the energies of Universe. And when our body and the moon are in synce, our cycle becomes an opportunity to “go with the flow.”

New moon is a great time for women to look inward, to honor our body and assess our lives.

To ask ourselves …

What is and isn’t working ?
What is no longer serving our greater good ?

It’s a time to set intentions and cleanse the body and mind of any stale or blocked energy.

A woman’s menstrual cycle is so much more than inconvenient bleeding and PMS. It’s an ebb and flow of energy. A cyclic rhythm we experience within our bodies that is sacred.

It’s to be celebrated

During the dark moon, we have an innate need to descend into the underworld and explore our shadow self. To confront the hidden parts of ourself that’s been relegated to the darkness by our collective consciousness.

When we make the descent we confront our shadow and connect to our repressed feelings.

We shine a light on our own darkness, which brings more light into the world. Inspiring others to do the same is how we shine brighter.

Each menstrual period and New moon gives us a chance to go within and listen to our own innate wisdom. As we unlock the hidden, darker parts of our psyche, we discover lost knowledge that enables us to heal our deepest wounds and transcend from our greatest fears.

We ascend from the underworld with more intuitive knowing, vision and personal power.

Doesn’t that sound like a journey worth taking?

When life gets ugly
Our lights don’t shine so brightly
We take a step back
Hide in the shadows
But I want to step forward
Out of the crowd
I want to be seen
For ALL of who I am
The pain
The confusion
The failure
The doubt
The guilt
The shame
The fear
But I’m censored
All of my experiences
Influenced by others
My sharing is mine
But its yours too
I feel resistance
Yes, I feel the love
But I’m surrounded by fear
I’m drowning in my truth
Comforted by my shadow
Mindful of your discomfort
Tension that stifles our growth
I breathe into this space
Diving in
I explore
The belief driving the thought ?
The thought energizing emotion ?
Why doesn’t the energy flow ?
What am I holding onto ?
How am I resisting ?
What am I afraid to feel ?
What are you afraid to see ?
Questions that lead me to a whisper
“It is our shadow that fears being seen”

They say to avoid disappointment then don’t expect too much from others, but I disagree because I am the TOO much kinda woman 😊

How can we ever live the kinda life we imagine if we keep lowering our expectations of others?

I want YOU to rise up and be ALL you can be. But your choices DO impact upon my experiences and therefore determine my choices.

So, we must ask ourselves …

Do we want to linger in feelings of resentment because someone isn’t living up to our expectations (or) are we willing to take complete responsibility for our own experiences ?

This has been a BIG switch in my thinking, that’s making all the difference to my experiences 😊

TRUTH is disappointment is a big part of our lives because we ALL want and need things from each other. Therefore, to gain insight into our own feelings of disappointment, we must first look at our own wants and needs.

Ask yourself …

What do I want?
What do I need?
Have I communicated this ?
Can the other person fullfill my wants?
Are they satisfying my needs?

Truth is our disappointments are all about US and it presents itself to teach US something. By holding another person responsible for our experience, we are giving someone else power over our experience. So, how can we RISE in our own power if we keep giving it away ?

Sure, we could waste precious time and energy with our internal conflicts that motivate us to be in conflict with other (or) we can ACCEPT that our wants and needs change as we do 😊

And this my friends, is how we respect each others choices and move forward with LOVE in our hearts ❤

Not all nice people are “nice”

Some paint on the smiles to be nice.
Some bite their tongue to be nice.
Some comfort others with lies to be nice.
Some talk shit to convince you they’re nice.

Truth is, I’m not always nice !!!

Sometimes …

I’m brutally honest with myself and others.
I will speak my truth, even when it hurts.
I acknowledge my own bullshit.
And not afraid to call you out on yours !!!

Truth is, its an act of bravery to expose the real you in a world of masks, created from delusional illusions.

Authenticity is revolutionary

But I’m learning …

To listen and trust my own instincts.
To confide within my circle of trust.
To mindfully share with others.
To be kind instead of faking “nice.”
To keep it fucking real.

Don’t trade your authenticity for approval ❤

Dear Mam,

Its only been 4 months since you got your wings. And although I believe that you’re still with us in spirit, I struggle not being able to see you. And although I keep looking for rainbows, I still feel the heaviness of the storm 💔

Life as we knew it, has changed forever and everything is different now that you’re no longer here with us. Nothing is the same !!!

I wish I could bring more love and light into my days, but life still feels a little dark. Everyday something pops up into my mind to be seen or into my heart to be felt. And I’m so very tired.

You know me, I don’t want to distract myself from my grief. I can’t always maintain a positive attitude. I will always think too deeply and I’ll never avoid my discomforts. Something that challenged you most about me, yet you loved me more than I’ve ever loved myself.

Your unconditional love was my anchor

I hope that I will refind the part of me that was lost during our nightmare. I have faith that one day I will feel happiness within my heart again. I trust that I’ll learn how to live with you in spirit. I believe that love is strong enough to brave any storm. Afterall, I am the wish bone.

I miss you ALWAYS …
and will love you FOREVER ❤

Since Mam’s death, I’ve been well aware of those symptoms of depression. But I believe that depression is a state of DEEP REST. A time when we are forced to look within. To explore any limited beliefs or behaviours that are holding us back. To express and release emotion. To rebalance our energy after something that has or is changing our world.

Its easy to loose ourselves in this space, which is why many of us can stay stuck in a state of suffering. Lost in our minds, with no way out.

Confronting ourselves is NEVER easy !!!

But these 10 basic principles can and do help us to navigate more purposefully …

1) First and foremost take full responsibility for where you are and how you feel. OWN IT !!! Because whether you like it or not, this is YOUR experience to learn and grow from 💔

2) Drag your sorry ass out of bed and make the effort to exercise every day. Even if its only a 30 minute stroll, dragging your feet, feeling sorry for yourself. Because it won’t take long before you’re enjoying the walk.

3) Improve your diet because food is fuel. Be honest with yourself about the shit you’re shoving into your gob. And make the changes to feel better.

4) Switch off the TV and social media and open up a book. Read something inspiring and helpful. Educate yourself and stop filling your head with bullshit that makes you feel like shit.

5) Listen to motivational speakers and learn how to make your mind work FOR you, not against you. Otherwise your mind will be in control. Don’t believe everything you think !!!

6) Stay the fuck away from toxic people and places. YES you have every right to say NO !!! It’s OK to outgrow friendships and relationships that no longer serve your greater good.

7) Meditate, BE STILL and listen to the silence. Take afew minutes (longer and more often the better) to switch off the mind and become aware of your senses. Spend more time in Nature, tune into yourself and connect with Universe. Find your flow.

8) Feed your soul with things that nourish you. Contribute to society in a positive way. Create something beautiful and SHARE it with others.

9) Self reflect. Take time to dive in so you can better understand who you are. This enables you to make better choices.

10) Create a daily routine that includes all these wonderful principles. Keep a diary and see what changes.

PS … be gentle with yourself ❤

My own experiences and the following article inspired this blog ..

https://observerink.com/free-depression-forever-applying-10-basic-principles/