TO shave or NOT to shave ??? … that’s a question I’m asking myself today, so lets start with that habit shall we ???

Who was the first woman to say to herself ” I think I will shave all the hair off my vagina” .. or was her lover fed up of getting pubes stuck in his teeth ? …Today, I decide NOT to shave because I just can’t be bothered, besides the weather’s cooler so I can just wear long pants. In all honesty having furry legs doesn’t really worry me all that much these days (must be the inner wild woman begging to be unleashed) .. UNLESS I’m sexually active, then I want to shave because I don’t really feel my best sexy self with hairy legs. And being the disgraceful sister I am, I adore oral sex and its SO much better with a smooth mons pubis and labia majora .. But WHY else do we shave ?

• is it by personal choice ?
• is it to please our lover ?
• is it to avoid grossing people out ?
• is it a cultural habit ?

If we believe that shaving our body hair is only one or some of the above then WAKEY WAKEY !! .. its not until we start to explore a habit do we realise who much more is involved than just deciding to do it. Our motivation to shave will depend on the person, but most often it’s either to feel or be perceived in a certain way by others ..

• before we have a hot date … we shave !!
• before we go for our gyno appointments … we shave !!
• before we leave the house wearing shorts … we shave !!

I pose the questions … WHY isn’t leg hair considered to be attractive ? WHY doesnt pubic hair appeal to some people ? WHY do we gasp in disgust when we see a ‘hairy’ woman ?

We are living in a time when young girls want to start removing the pubescent bodily hair as soon as it comes through. The transition from child to womanhood neither being experienced fully nor embraced, but denied … WHY ? .. Bodily hair is very much frowned upon … WHY ?

If we take a long hard deep look at our topic of hot debate we will find consumerism has a HUGE part to play, therefore is largely drive by the almighty dollar … Surprise !! Surprise !! .. There’s big bucks in selling products that shave this, pluck that, wax this and laser that. Positions have been created for our very own professional pluckers !! … We are surrounded by media advertisements that tell us that bare is beautiful. I’m yet to see a supermodel walking down the cat walk with her publes strategically positioned to highlight the latest bikini fashions.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying .. “Ladies, unleash your inner feral” .. unless YOU choose to. But I am drawing attention to how many of our everyday personal habits, such as shaving, have most certainly become a cultural habit.

Hmmmmm … so that habit of others influences our own personal habits (tilts her head to the side in contemplation)

Let me leave you with an image to ponder over … an image that raises some very interesting questions. My automatic response to this was how it gave me a great visual representation of how I see woman. She’s stepping further away from her womanhood by removing some of what makes her woman, as if stepping back into a position of vulnerability. And I see man stepping into his manhood and displaying it proudly all over his face for the world to see …

Hmmmmmmmmm (she ponders)

Why is the professional helper willing to talk about some of her own personal habits?

Because I strongly believe in WALKING the TALK.  When you work in a profession that involves exploring the behaviour of others and supporting them through challenges and change, then its paramount to be aware of your own experiences of  self, challenge and change. When we don’t have adequate self awareness and don’t function from an actively conscious personal space, then we can easily fall into the role of hypocrite.

Imagine if you will …

A woman recieving counselling support through her messy divorce, by a counsellor creating the conflicts in her own divorce.  A man recieving support for his alcohol addiction from a psychologist who needs to drink every night. A young girl seeking support for her promiscuity by a guidance officer who engages in casual sex.

It’s been said that we gravitate towards those who reflect and mirror back to us important insights about ourselves that assist us on our own personal growth.

IF we believe this concept to be true, then imagine HOW it would impact on our sessions and interactions with others. Every experience with another person would take on a whole new meaning. Each and every connection becoming a new and wonderful learning opportunity. We would begin to experience the world in a new way.

Personally, I believe this statement to be true and therefore believe that our helping roles are also helping us in some way. Ive experienced how my own self awareness has improved my interactions with others, which is why I think it’s time to rethink HOW we help ? and question WHY we help ? So we can privelage the human experience to its full potential.

When we position ourselves as the ‘professional’ then we tend to follow those professional guidelines of casting our own experiences aside, so we can focus on the needs of the client … but can we do this ???

HOW can we put part of ourselves aside and still be completely present ???

WHAT if we viewed the client as the professional ???

HOW can we maintain our professionalism and be more personal in our interactions ???

Having worked in a helping role for 15 years, I’ve both been and seen professionals with the best of intentions, who are either driven by egos or working through their own challenges. Does this impact upon the helping role ??? … you betcha it does !!!

HABITS … our life is driven by them, but how often do we actually explore them ??? … I decided to change some of my ‘bad’ habits, but turns out I have more than I first thought … Hence the creation of this blog … ‘Breaking the Habit’ … and our leading lady, sister Disgrace (nods head in nun like gesture)

Here, we will explore the habit formation of some of our every day habits and some of the common ´bad´ habit favourites: nail biting, smoking, drug taking, binge drinking, comfort eating and procrastionation. We will explore things like thought processes, communication styles, relational patterns, addictions and we will even dare to dive into those taboo juicy topics of casual sex, mastrubation and fetishes …

How wonderfully disgraceful !!!

This is a space where truth and humour will be used …

• to ponder and reflect upon the experience of being human
• to explore how we move through life
• to be more mindful in our interactions